>Nine Inch Nails - Even Deeper
>Deftones - Digital Bath
>Blink 182 - Adam’s Song

Yesterday I got back from New York and from my Aunt and Uncle’s house. On Tuesday, my Aunt drove up with my cousin, we loaded up the car, and we went back to her house in Middletown. We did some cool stuff; on Tuesday we went to some stores, I got a bunch more saftey pins for the Marilyn Manson shirt I bought on the boardwalk and some more velcro. Wednesday was kind of boring, right when I got up, Gail, Alexis, and my mom were going out to eat, and they ended up going to a few stores (taking like three hours). Thursday we went to the beach. It was kind of cold half of the time, but the other half was fine. I brought Munkee too (as always, he loves the beach), and made this two-foot by two-foot sandcastle. It was mostly a big pile of sand with a moat around it, and whenever I made spires, Alexis knocked them down, but I didn’t care, she liked knocking them down so it was cool, at least we got some enjoyment out of the castle while it stood. A seagull pooped on my Aunt’s leg, that was kind of funny, she washed it off with seawater. On Friday (the day they’d told me we were going to New York) we got all packed up, first with the air conditioner my uncle had bought from Sears for the room Alexis sleeps in when she stays at my grandparents’ house. Then the pile in the back of the SUV continued, with my mom’s FUCKING BILLION unnecessary books that she’ll never read and only stumbled through to begin with. Then our stuff, the dog, and by the time we got everything in the car, the freaking door wouldn’t shut. Trust my mom for unnecessary shit. She could write a book on accumulating useless shit that looks like it should be kept. Anyway, we finally got to my grandparents’ house, and unloaded everything, including the Brita water filter Mom had needed to exchange at Bed Bath and Beyond, because the one she got at the BB&B in Edgewater was broken. I washed a load of clothes, set up the Brita pitcher, took a shower, got ready, and unpacked. It was a bit frantic, but my Aunt and I were in the car, journeying towards Hoboken. It looked like there was a fire in one of the buildings, there were a bunch of fire trucks, and smoke billowing out of windows, but the firefighters were just standing there. Guess they needed an engraved invitation to go fight the fire. Anyway, Gail and I went and got our tickets for the boat, and waited on this dock that I found out later was really a barge. Two boats came, but they were going to Battery Park, although they were pulling up at the Wall Street pier thingy. Finally our boat came, and we boarded. It was a great day, blue skies and fluffy clouds, it looked like something in a movie. We went around Battery Park, and docked somewhere near the Wall Street/FDR Drive intersection. I’m going to continue this in a later post, my typing hands hurt.

>Nine Inch Nails - Ruiner
>Nine Inch Nails - Pilgrimmage

I finally got to go to Edgewater today. I got four beer mugs and a martini glass, two huge saftey pins, and not enough velcro. I need to go back for more velcro and normal size saftey pins. They were out of the silver ones. How lame. Anyway, my martini glass is so cool, I’ve been drinking water out of it all day. I attached the velcro to the inside of my lunchbox, but unfortunately on the wrong side, so I have to go back, get more, and attach it to the correct side (the bottom), but I did add velcro holders for my advair and my visine. I don’t know why I carry around that advair, it’s not for sudden athsma attacks, maybe I should get rid of it. Hmm. Well, I’m bored out of my mind. I talked to mindy for a while, Grandma and Grandpa are at Grandma’s doctor appointment, they’ve been there for two hours and thirty minutes. Weird. I wouldn’t mind really, except that I want to listen to a record I found downstairs on my grandparents’ huge retro record player in the living room. My mom is on her ‘you have to ask to use every fucking thing’ tirade. Now her excuse for sitting on her ass all day is that she has “chronic fatigue syndrome”. You know, I call it LAZINESS. Fatigue fuck, she gets off her ass and does whatever she wants when she wants to do it, but whenever anyone else wants to do something “oh, I’m tired”. What a liar. Well, my grandparents are back. I don’t want to listen to anything with them in the house. I’m not going to ask. Losers. Well, I’d better go.

>Bj�rk - Army Of Me
>L7 - Shove

I just got up, my mom is talking on the phone now to my cousin with the bladder stone. I asked her if we were going anywhere, she didn’t say anything. To say that I hate her would be the biggest understatement of the year. Maybe I’ll be able to get her off her fat ass to go to the library with me and make a copy of my diploma for the college lady, but I doubt it. I’ll probably have to go by myself, if it ever gets done. Well, more later.

>Garbage - Nobody Loves You
>Garbage - Temptation Waits
>Elastica - Spastica
>Danny Elfman - The Tree Of Death (from the Sleepy Hollow soundtrack)

I am really really really really pissed at my mom. She is a LIAR. She promised to go to Edgewater today, and didn’t. I kept trying to go to sleep, to dream of my martini glasses and the possibility that they would have clear vinyl shower curtains that I could make into sleeves/armwarmers, but I had to go downstairs and watch the end of Dark City before I got tired. At about 5:30AM, I was woken up by shouts and various exclamations. I caught various snaches of it, something about throwing up, I heard “call 911″, but I was tired and just went back to sleep. I’d only slept for maybe three hours before this escapade. Anyway, my mom comes in and is all freaking out that I need to do something with the dog (like walk her) and I was too tired to do anything. I just yelled at the dog to lay down and after a bit went back to sleep. I woke up around twelve thinking that grandma was at the hospital, because I’d heard my mom and grandpa’s voices, so logically it was grandma who was having problems. The lying sack of shit that is my mother wouldn’t take me to Edgewater because she was afraid that grandma would die. She didn’t word it that explicitly, but that was basically it. I felt like saying “What the fuck? they wouldn’t have released her from the hospital unless she was okay. If something does happen, what the fuck does it matter if you’re here or not? Grandpa can fucking call 911. Like you’re the fucking healing angel in your family? fuck you.” But no, I just went downstairs and watched/listened to music videos really loudly. It was the only fucking thing I could do, my FUCKING GODDAMN IMBECILE WHORE mother wasn’t going to take me anywhere. I’ve left the house once since I got back from wildwood (a week!!!!!) and I’m going crazy. I hope she dies (my mother, not my grandma). But like, maybe after I leave, I’ve never seen a corpse before. That was really the only thing I was afraid of, when I heard those sounds, that I would go out in the living room with the dog and there would be the corpse of one of my relatives there. That would make me fucking snap. I don’t do death. Anyway, I passed the day trying to get my mom off her FUCKING LAZY GODDAMN ASS, and once I realized that was impossible, downstairs watching Dark City with Roger Ebert’s commentary track, while my mom talked to my cousin in the other room of the basement, crying and wailing and shit. I’m like, god. You’d better fucking get acquainted with death, your parents are in their early eighties. I hope to be self-sufficient when my parents are that old, unlike her, the childish near-imbecile. This place is becoming a fucking PRISON. On a happier note, I started “Lord Of The Flies”, “One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest”, and “Crash” by J.G. Ballard (I got the books on my last Amazon.com order). I love Crash, it’s so strange, with that satirical razor-edge of wit, and amusing random sexually-oriented similes. It’s very interesting, but I’m having problems reading it, because I end up laughing a lot, and my mom gets mad at me when I laugh a lot. Fuck her. I’m having fun. Anyway, I’m officially moving downstairs. The basement is going to be my new home, away from those crazy fucks. I’m not talking to my mother until we go somewhere. ALL I FUCKING WANT TO DO IS LEAVE THE HOUSE? IS THAT SO GODDAMN WRONG? I JUST WANT TO GO TO A FUCKING PARK OR SOMETHING, WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!????????? AM I A FUCKING PRISONER??????? I FUCKING HATE HER SO MUCH.

>The Exploited - Sex And Violence

I wish I could go somewhere, I’ve been going crazy from cabin fever ever since I got back from my stay at Wildwood. I’ve only left the house one time since we got back. My mom keeps saying she’s “tired”. Too tired to drive a few miles to the shopping center? Please. What’s she doing in her spare time, running wind sprints in the basement? God. Anyway, I did make another purchase from amazon.com. I got a DVD player, two more DVDs (SLC Punk and Blade Runner), and a bunch of books. I haven’t read a page of them since I got everything yesterday, but my DVD player has been in almost constant use. I had a movie marathon of sorts last night, it was fun, I stayed up until four AM drinking ginger ale and watching movies. I’d never watched two of my favorites that I bought on DVD while I was here (Crash and The Doom Generation) all the way through, I’d only caught them in the middle when I first saw them, so it was great fun to see them in all their glory. My mom and I finished watching Blade Runner today. She actually liked it, I was surprised. I am in love with the DVD player though, it can play video CDs burned on the computer, it can play CDs of pictures, and music CDs too. When the novelty of the new toy wears off, I’m going to start reading again. I kind of stopped reading when I read excessively during my stay at Wildwood. I got from about page 600 of Atlas Shrugged to page 867. According to my handy-dandy computer calculator, I have 301 pages left to read, so I’ll probably finish it before the summer is out. I’m still dying to go to New York, but I don’t have anyone to take me. We’re going to my aunt and uncle’s house later this week, or so my mom tells me, and I’m going to inform them of my need. Understatement of the year. Anyway, I just got off the phone with Mindy, she’s becoming a housewife. Well, that is until she starts her job next week. She’s making all this food for Garrett’s dad, and Garrett’s dad’s lover. I guess they’re visiting. She told me the details of her and Garrett’s second wedding. It’s really strange [in my opinion, to have two weddings], but I guess to call Mindy normal is a stretch of the imagination. “Normal” people are always the most screwed up. The lady from the college e-mailed me, she wanted to know if I graduated, and if I did, she’d need a copy of my diploma. I have to mail her one tomorrow. I’m making my mom take me to the shopping center in Edgewater tomorrow or I’m going to KILL her. I saw martini glasses and glass beer mugs at Bed Bath and Beyond, and I love references to alcoholism. They’re trendy, what can I say. And I’m gonna get this gravy briefcase/binder/legal pad I saw at Staples, if I can convince my mom it’s gravy, which doesn’t seem to hard, ’cause it’s so utilitarian. I also need to get Existenz, The Matrix, and Sleepy Hollow on DVD soon, cuz I’m going krazy with my tiny movie collection, but I don’t know if I’m willing to pay a lot 4 them.Well, I should go… I have absolutely nothing to do other than watch my six DVDs, but I should get back to my boredom. Maybe I’ll read something…hmm.