>Enya - Only Time
>Powerman 5000 - When Worlds Collide (read about it in the entry)
>Rammstein - Du Hast
>Massive Attack - Black Milk

Yesterday I woke up extrordinarily bored, and cut the weeds (more like seven-foot-high overgrown shrubbery) on the side of the house here. Today kind of sucked, but it hasn’t even really begun. I watched TV all night, caught Will & Grace, was really bored. Went upstairs about six, made tea, read some of The Haunting Of Hill House. That is my favorite book, I absolutely love how it’s written…it just does something to me. I should include a quote. The characters are in the ‘game room’ of Hill House. “The cold greens of the table tops were reflected unhappily in the dark tiles around the fireplace; the inevitable wood paneling was, here, not at all enlivened by a series of sporting prints which seemed enterely devoted to various methods of doing wild animals to death, and over the mantel a deer head looked down upon them in patent embarrassment.” Anyway, we (my mother and I) were supposed to go to the Met and the Guggeneim today, she was too “tired”. Fucking die already if you can’t leave the house for one goddamn day. “I don’t want to go anywhere where there’s going to be lots of people,” she says. Rigoddamndiculous. There are nine million people on the fucking island. Where does she think we’re going? Nowhere, Illinois? Sometimes I wonder about her tenuous grip on reality, and on days like this, if there even is a grip. Powerman 5000 just came on the mp3 player, made me think of Paul, he made me download “When Worlds Collide”, this nonsensical nursery rhyme sung in the form of “shock rock” or whatever the fuck they’re pretending to be. I wonder what happened to him. As for Powerman, two words: intellectually bankrupt. Their songs are catchy though, I guess that’s the reason I haven’t had the heart to delete the song. And because it reminds me of Paul. Ah, Du Hast, now that’s more like it. So apparently my mom and I aren’t going anywhere. I said something really mean to her because she wouldn’t buy me anything that she promised to. I wanted to buy PVC so I could make my own PVC pants (in order to save money), she says she’ll only buy clothes that are already made. I find cool clothes on The Dark Angel, and she says they’re too expensive. It’s not my damn fault the dollar is weak. It’s almost one pound to two dollars. Fuck. Anyway, she basically lied about everything, and the more that I think about it she’s lied about almost every important thing in my life. Lied about accepting me as gay, lied that she was okay with me having gay friends….it sickens me. She’s now saying that people (as in the students at College Of The Redwoods) don’t dress in designer clothes. What the fuck? So because I live in a hick town and because I’m not going to a four-year college, I should look like a beggar? She says I have no idea about the value of money. My valuation of money is that I would rather spend a lot on something I will love, than a little on stuff I won’t really like and that everyone else that shops at Hot Topic will have. And, for the record, HT has a shitty selection in pants and shirts, they’re more centered on accessories, once you remove all the trendy shit they have to keep in stock to stay in buisiness. She’s in the room right now, I feel like telling her that, but I already have, but not all at once. Maybe I can convince her to help me get some clear plastic at the Rag Shop. I just apologized for saying that I would be glad to never see her face again, she’s not saying anything. I guess she thinks I just want her to take me to Edgewater, which I suppose is a factor, but I wouldn’t have apologized if I wasn’t sorry. When backed against the wall of her (and others’) illogical thought, I tend to take cheap shots. Oh well, it’s a character flaw. My mom just left, I guess she didn’t care that I said I was sorry. Fuck if I care. I’m going to try to convince her to take me to Edgewater, which will probably make her think I just said it to make her want to buy me stuff. Oh well.