>Nine Inch Nails - Terrible Lie
>Nine Inch Nails - Closer
>Nine Inch Nails - The Wretched
The liar (my mother), my grandparents, and I are going to my aunt’s house in Mont-something, South Jersey. My mother is lying about yet another thing. She said she’d buy me clothes for school, but everything I suggest to her she says is “too expensive” and that she’s not going to pay for “designer” clothes. She wants me to look like a northern californian or something, with shitty Kmart jeans and wal-mart shirts. God I fucking hate her. Anyway, with this new lie, I began to rethink everything she’s ever done that I’ve hated, and I’ve come to realize that she lies all the time, and the thing that i hate her so much for is that she’s a hypocrite in the fullest sense of the word. She lied about accepting my sexuality, she lied that she was fine with me having gay friends. She says that the purpose of child care is to promote world peace, but when it comes to the “wars” in the middle east, we have to “kill those bastards, they have it in for us”. All she’s ever done is lie and lie to keep control, and never look at the big picture, if it even is in her power to do so. You know, I wouldn’t really care if she died, as long as I wouldn’t have to see the corpse. I suppose that sounds inhuman, but after almost eighteen years, I just dont give a fuck any more. I just had to say that to someone. She got a job, woohoo. I guess we’re going to go to the beach while we’re there, oh that reminds me I should pack my swimming shorts.
My mom and I went out Wednesday, she really pissed me off. She went to fill out a job application, and I went because I wanted to go to Lowe’s to check out wire gauges for my chain mail. She went to the post office, and had forgot her money. She sent a letter to Reece in Switzerland, and her letter of resignation to the School District. She had forgotten her money at home, so she had to pay with change that was in the car. She had to go to the bank to get money, she gave me my 40 dollars from the stuff I ordered that wasn’t in stock, and we went to this cafe. I didn’t want to eat croissants and the fattening other stuff at the cafe, I was hungry for food food, so she got mad that I was “ruining her fun”. We then drove to the Rite Aid. We were not on good terms from the cafe incident when we pulled up to rite-aid, and I had to go to a store to get something, so she gave me the money and said she was staying in the car. They didn’t have what I wanted, so I walked back outside (I should mention it was like 100 degrees) and the bitch wasn’t in the car. I waited in the FUCKING 200 DEGREE HEAT for about five minutes. I began to snap, every ten seconds I would take my boot and make a huge dent in the car. Finally the bitch fucking saunters out of Rite-Aid, and gets in the car. “What the fuck? Where were you?” I ask her. We get in the car, and I begin to regard her with the utter, complete, unadulterated, pure HATE of someone who’s waited seven minutes in 100 degree weather with no end in sight. The fucking bitch starts laughing at me. I lost whatever trace of politeness that had remained. I screamed at the top of my lungs, “WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!?????? I WAS OUT THERE WAITING IN THE FUCKING 100 DEGREE FUCKING WEATHER? WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU? YOU SAID YOU WERE STAYING IN THE CAR, DID THAT EVER FUCKING CROSS YOUR FUCKING STUPID MIND?” Then there was silence, except for my intermittent almost inaudible murmurings of things like “god, I can’t wait until you’re dead” and “I would throw a fucking party if you died”. She drove to the CVS on the top of the hill and I got it there, then we went to Lowe’s, they didn’t have the wire I wanted (I’m never going back there, they never have anything I need). Then we went back home.
Moby - Landing
Moby - Everloving
On Tuesday, the 12th, we went to the Guggenheim in Manhattan. It was…beautiful. There are no words for how much I love Manhattan. New York City is my heaven on earth. I really only went to the Guggenheim to be inside a building that Frank Lloyd Wright designed. It was so pulchritudinous (the thesaurus tells me that word means beautiful). The spaces were so white and open, it was like what I would imagine a building in heaven to look like. They were exhibiting a lot of cubist and impressionist pieces, most from this guy Kandinsky. I’m not really a fan of Kandinsky, but they had some beautiful Picassos and Delunays. I wish I would have gotten to go to the Met and the MOMA, but I blame my mother. Well we are going soon, I should get more ready than I am now.
