It’s now morning, for some reason I woke up at like 9am, after staying up until like 4am. It was really strange. Just thought I’d note that. Dan, Kelly, and I are supposed to do something today, I hope it’s something fun (i.e. something that involves spending money, getting high off caffiene, or any combniation of the two). Taggart was saying some HELLA funny shit last night, he was actually considering going out with KATIE!? The sheer impossibility of it made Kelly and I laugh profusely. Oh yeah, I’ve got to look up the word efficacy, I thought of it on the plane and wrote it on my arm. Hmm, it means “the power to produce an effect”. Well, I’m not going to drag on and on, just thought I’d write a morning entry.
Oh, I just remembered something delicious. There were these two REALLY hot German/Swiss guys on the plane to Houston. Just thought I’d note it, and mention that I am not obsessed with Taggart, it’s just that beautiful people intrigue me.
Hey, I’m watching Mulholland Drive at my Aunt’s with my cousin Kelly, we just watched The Doom Generation, she loved it, as anyone sane does. After seeing it a few times, the beginning is definitely the best part. Up to the part with the guy from carn-o-burger. I think I’m breaking out in hives, or a storm of invisible mosquitoes is biting me all over. I reek of BO, but at the moment I don’t care. We went out for soda, I bought a 12-pack of Mountain Dew, I would have loved some Jolt, but they didn’t have it at the AM/PM. I look horrible, there are HUGE bags under my eyes, I feel like monkey shit warmed over. But at least I’m watching Mulholland Drive. I’ve been searching J.G. Ballard’s “Crash” for more good quotes, here’s another. I’m becoming obsessed with a new technology-driven sexuality.
“This obsession with the sexual possibilities of everything around me had been jerked loose from my mind my the crash. I imagined the ward filled with convalescing air-disaster victims, each of their minds a brothel of images. The crash between our two cars was a a model of some ultimate and yet undreamt sexual union. The injuries of still-to-be-admitted patients beckoned to me, an immense encycolpedia of accessible dreams.”
Oh, when I got to Sac, Taggart came up behind me and pinched my buttocks—wow—I don’t think I’ve ever used the word buttocks in writing before. Well anyway, it didn’t strike me as erotic, I was still in a daze of traveling…and I still am, but as I gazed at his corporeal perfection during the ride home and as he lounged luxuriously on the reclining chair, it did seem erotic somehow. I want to talk with him about art, but I don’t see a forum. I’m always such a bore, concentrating on myself, when I should be talking to others. I feel a bit nauseous. I really do want to fellate him, but it would just be another scar, and picturing the act makes me nauseous as well. I guess what I really want is to watch two Taggart clones having sex with each other, but I guess that’s a bit disturbing. And it would be incest, in some strange twisted way.
