Oh, did I tell everyone? I’m a reverend, I was ordained this weekend!

OKGO - Get Over It

I’m so happy, I tried on a pair of Evil Steph’s pinstripe pants, they look so good on me, I think I’m going to start wearing girl clothes when i feel like it. I hear Christine and Dana were going to strap me down and put a dress on me at her party, the strapping down part pisses me off, but like, I’m not so against wearing a dress nowadays. It’d be very Twiggy Ramirez. Some fishnets, and some Forties-esque dress, it’d be cool. My dad agreed to give me $15 a week for vacuuming, washing the dishes, and taking out the trash. And he said he’d give me $6 an hour when we paint the house next weekend. I need a new canvas, a new tube of white and black paint, turpentine, hair dye and developer, eyeliner and black eyeshadow. Apparently it’s going to take awhile to catch up with my needs. I think I’m going to get the hair dye first, my roots are like, an inch long now. I’ve been munching on this non-cooked pasta for like, thirty minutes now, I should go and actually make it.

>Portishead - Roads

I just saw the most depressing documentary about HIV/AIDS in Africa, it just made me sick. All these dopes talking about the “war on terror”, when hundreds of thousands of people are dying every day, mostly children. That made me so sad.

>OKGO - You’re So Damn Hot (my theme song, goddamn)

“You don�t love me at all,
But don�t think that it bothers me at all.
You�re a bad-hearted boy trap, baby doll, but you�re…
You�re so damn hot.”

I just finished watching Cruel Intentions for the first time, I am so depressed. I suppose this is too personal to put on the internet, but I just want someone to love. Is that so wrong? I have a few guys to fuck, but I just use them to make myself feel more beautiful. The closest I’ve ever come to loving someone was Royce. But he had this disgusting tooth that was half-eaten-away by a cavity, and he was a total slut, and he had no goals, but that last one didn’t really matter because he was very intellectual. I’m a slut too, but I’m a reluctant slut. I really want to be monogamous, but I haven’t found a fuck buddy I could be seen in public with. I’m sick of all these stupid fat losers. I want a boi to cuddle with all day while we listen to nine inch nails, I want someone who has an independent fashion sense, someone who is basically not normal. I wonder if I’m normal. Actually I’m the most normal person I know, I don’t smoke, I don’t do drugs, I’m going to college. Hmm, I just want to love someone who is intelligent, beautiful, sensitive, and not obese. Is that so wrong? I don’t know, maybe I’m being unrealistic. Comments? darius_capulet@hotmail.com.