OKGO – Get Over It
I’m so happy, I tried on a pair of Evil Steph’s pinstripe pants, they look so good on me, I think I’m going to start wearing girl clothes when i feel like it. I hear Christine and Dana were going to strap me down and put a dress on me at her party, the strapping down part pisses me off, but like, I’m not so against wearing a dress nowadays. It’d be very Twiggy Ramirez. Some fishnets, and some Forties-esque dress, it’d be cool. My dad agreed to give me $15 a week for vacuuming, washing the dishes, and taking out the trash. And he said he’d give me $6 an hour when we paint the house next weekend. I need a new canvas, a new tube of white and black paint, turpentine, hair dye and developer, eyeliner and black eyeshadow. Apparently it’s going to take awhile to catch up with my needs. I think I’m going to get the hair dye first, my roots are like, an inch long now. I’ve been munching on this non-cooked pasta for like, thirty minutes now, I should go and actually make it.
Categories: Uncategorized
- Published:
- September 21, 2003 – 8:46 pm
- Author:
- By A.
>Portishead – Roads
I just saw the most depressing documentary about HIV/AIDS in Africa, it just made me sick. All these dopes talking about the “war on terror”, when hundreds of thousands of people are dying every day, mostly children. That made me so sad.
Categories: Uncategorized
- Published:
- September 21, 2003 – 8:34 pm
- Author:
- By A.
>OKGO – You’re So Damn Hot (my theme song, goddamn)
“You don�t love me at all,
But don�t think that it bothers me at all.
You�re a bad-hearted boy trap, baby doll, but you�re…
You�re so damn hot.”
I just finished watching Cruel Intentions for the first time, I am so depressed. I suppose this is too personal to put on the internet, but I just want someone to love. Is that so wrong? I have a few guys to fuck, but I just use them to make myself feel more beautiful. The closest I’ve ever come to loving someone was Royce. But he had this disgusting tooth that was half-eaten-away by a cavity, and he was a total slut, and he had no goals, but that last one didn’t really matter because he was very intellectual. I’m a slut too, but I’m a reluctant slut. I really want to be monogamous, but I haven’t found a fuck buddy I could be seen in public with. I’m sick of all these stupid fat losers. I want a boi to cuddle with all day while we listen to nine inch nails, I want someone who has an independent fashion sense, someone who is basically not normal. I wonder if I’m normal. Actually I’m the most normal person I know, I don’t smoke, I don’t do drugs, I’m going to college. Hmm, I just want to love someone who is intelligent, beautiful, sensitive, and not obese. Is that so wrong? I don’t know, maybe I’m being unrealistic. Comments? darius_capulet@hotmail.com.
Categories: Uncategorized
- Published:
- September 21, 2003 – 12:09 am
- Author:
- By A.
>Razed In Black – Power
Christine wants me to get her piercing needles from Parkway Feed, and Danielle told me that there was a head shop in our city. I’m beginning to love Crescent City, I can’t help it. Once my dad gives me the money for my chores, I’m going to the military surplus store, they had some amazing stuff that I saw through the window. I’m going to hit the thrift shops first though. I can’t wait until I get money.
Categories: Uncategorized
- Published:
- September 20, 2003 – 9:02 pm
- Author:
- By A.
Out of the blue, Stephanie Depee showed up at my door Thursday night, she says she’s homeless and needs a place to sleep for a night. Now she thinks she lives here, and I’m going to have to wait until tonight to see if she’s coming back. Danielle and I hung out all day today, we were supposed to go to Christine’s party, but it turned out Christine’s mom couldn’t give me a ride. Towards the end of the day, we were kind of glad we didn’t go. Dani’s tooth was killing her, and I was tired as hell. And she told me that Christine and Dana were going to get me drunk and strap me down and put a dress on me. I’m stronger than both of them, it would be refreshing to knock out Dana, but still, that’s fucked up. Real friends don’t do that. I miss Trisha, she gave the group sanity, now with Christine and Dana as the dynamic duo, Dana’s insanity blows everything way out of porportion. I feel sickened by them. Oh, I asked my dad if I could get money for doing chores, he said yes, I’m going to help him paint the house next weekend, and I’m going to be vacuuming and washing the dishes. Well, Danielle and I had a good time, and the weekend will be perfect if Stephanie doesn’t show up. I talked with Steph’s mom, and basically her mom has done everything in her power to help her daughter, and Stephanie doesn’t give a fuck. All she wants is to use people, and if they don’t give everything they have (including their future) to her, she says they are assholes. She is malignant. I’m going to tell her that she has to be gone by the end of the weekend. I’m not kicking her out into the cold, she can go to the womens’ shelter. I miss the people that hang out at the college. I can’t wait for school to start. Oh, I told my mom the whole situation with Stephanie, and she e-mailed me back a message that said one word: “whatever”. WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT A BITCH. DIE. She doesn’t fucking care about anything that’s important to me, and she doesn’t care about my problems. I fucking hate her.
Categories: Uncategorized
- Published:
- September 20, 2003 – 8:57 pm
- Author:
- By A.
I just got back from the Sunset BBQ, Linda and Christy interrogated me, it sucked. Yesterday I was a superhero, I was super-80s-man, i wore my cape and holey jeans, it was great. I’ve been having so much fun lately with Christine, Danielle, Stephanie, Rachel, Daniela, and the one chick from my art class. Life is great. Danielle and Christine met for the first time today at the barbeque, I introduced them to each other, I think they’ll love each other. I’m going to sneak out on Saturday and go to Christine’s birthday party. It is going to be so freakin’ fun, we’re going to watch DVDs all night and stuff, it’ll be great. Oh poo, I have to e-mail Danielle.
Categories: Uncategorized
- Published:
- September 18, 2003 – 8:03 pm
- Author:
- By A.
OKGO – Shortly Before The End
OKGO – C-C-C-Cinnamon Lips
OKGO – The Fix Is In
OKGO – We Dug A Hole
I’m kinda depressed, I guess I’m lonely… :( I sewed the zippers on my trenchcoat, they were safety-pinned be4. I’m not sure if I like them. I feel ugly, I’m going to wear my bondage boots tomorrow. I wish I was skinny and I wish I was pretty. Or, to quote Marilyn Manson,
“Today I’m dirty, I want to be pretty
Tomorrow I know I’m just dirt
Today I’m dirty, and I want to be pretty
Tomorrow I know I’m just dead”
Poop. Shit, I’m depressed now, I was all happy today. I need to do some drugs tomorrow. I think I might be somewhat manic-depressive. Fuck. I’m going to dress to kill tomorrow. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Oh, Kelly e-mailed me, fucking Katie got better tickets to the next Manson concert…it’s evil. And she’s going with Taggart. Fucking kill. I want to fuck Taggart’s brains out, although I don’t think I’m beautiful enough to go out with anyone, let alone have sex. Maybe I’ll be prettier with longer hair. God, I sound like a thirteen-year-old girl. But I feel ugly and unlovable. <- it's kind of depressing to have something like that there in black and white, the feeling is so much less--typographical. I've been saying 'fuck' a lot...it helps to relieve tension. And depression.
Categories: Uncategorized
- Published:
- September 15, 2003 – 8:55 pm
- Author:
- By A.
>OKGO!!!!! I absolutely love Danielle2 (the okgo girl)’s favorite band, OKGO, she lent me the CD, it’s splendorific.
Joshua Person, the newspaper person, sent me an Assignment, I have to interview Martha Roy. I’m all, yay! I have to stop being so shallow about…I would say him but I should mean everything. OKGO Rocks!
Categories: Uncategorized
- Published:
- September 15, 2003 – 8:28 pm
- Author:
- By A.
>The Prodigy – Baby’s Got A Temper
>Moby – We Are All Made Of Stars
The last few days have been pretty cool, I hung out with Danielle and her brother yesterday, it was fun. We watched Event Horizon and Pet Semetary, and walked to Wal-Mart to get popcorn. Well, I’m coming to the conclusion that I am the center of the universe. Every day I wear my trenchcoat, it’s really hot, and every day I don’t it’s overcast/rainy. I was washing my clothes today, and my dad asked if I wanted to go to the store. Wanting my q-tips and cotton balls, I consented, although I had nothing very fashionable to wear. I saw two hot guys. Obviously, I am the center of the universe. I wear ratty clothes = hot guys appear. Hmm…. lol. Oh, I should see if the Art Nazi field trip is tomorrow or Wednesday…oh good it’s Wednesday. Well, my carpal tunnel thingy hurts, more later.
Categories: Uncategorized
- Published:
- September 14, 2003 – 2:33 pm
- Author:
- By A.
>Deadstar Assembly – Send Me An Angel
The day started out cool, I read my art book because I was bored, listened to Physical, talked to some people from the high school… Was going to go over to Heather’s, but I was in my combat boots and it would have hella-hurt to walk that far, especially with my two-ton sachel. I wore my combat boots, black Dickies shorts, my Cereal Killer shirt, heavy eyeliner/mascara, and smeared black lipstick. I went out to my special courtyard to read during the high school’s lunch, and saw Amber and Suzie. Suzie said that Christine wanted me to call her. After being lured into a conversation with Natasha later that day (puke), Richard’s mother talked to me a bit, they’re having a going-away party for Richard, and she wanted to invite me. I didn’t know what to say, other than that I don’t associate with pure hedonists, which would have been rude, so I kind of led her on that I’d attend. English was in a different room, which was weird. And nobody gave any reason for the new room…it was very surreal. I kind of BSed with Letko for a while, but it was good because I know almost exactly what I’m going to write for the final. Well anyway, after that was art. OMFG. My friend, I’ll just call her Newspaper chick, she is so cool, we were writing on scraps of paper to each other, it was great. The Art Nazi (our art teacher) is such a frickin’ lame-o! She will not listen to anyone else’s opinion. But yeah, making fun of her was great. OMG there is this lady that sits in front of me and Newspaper chick (oh yeah her name is Daniella), that is so frickin’ stupid. Daniella were sickened at the sheer and utter stupidity of the people in the class. It’s sad, but somewhat funny. Me, her, and this other girl who was really intelligent were talking after class about the fallacies of the Art Nazi’s philosophy (espeically her thing that American culture is infesting the rest of the world, which is goddamn ludicrous). I wish I could have stayed and debated, but my dad was waiting in the parking lot (I wanted to say car-park, I’ve been reading so much J.G. Ballard lately [he's English]). Oh by the way, I started Rushing Towards Paradise (I think that’s what it’s called). It is so amazingle good. I’ve rarely seen sharper social commentary. I can tell this is going to be ten times more exciting than Super-Cannes. And I can’t seem to find Empire Of The Sun, which was made into a movie that I haven’t seen. I love J.G. Ballard. Well, I should go, I’m tired and I want to go to bed.
Categories: Uncategorized
- Published:
- September 8, 2003 – 5:52 pm
- Author:
- By A.