> Madonna - What It Feels Like For A Girl
> Marilyn Manson - The Love Song “do you love your god, guns, and government? fuck you!”

Paul signed off, he had to go to classes, I couldn’t really have a very in-depth conversation with him, he had to go to classes. Talked to ThoughtRiot for a long while, he’s so hot and he reminds me SO MUCH of Nalen. It’s so wierd. And his pic looks exactly like Nalen. It’s so strange. I want his tumescent love-muscle. I kind of want to talk to Jon, but I’d have to sign on to one of the instant messaging services that I already told someone on them I was going to sleep. But Jon is an imbecile anyway…although he’s going to have a car soon. I’ll be like….”Jon….come and take me to Arcata, I’m bored.” Or not. I’m going to wear my beautiful silk tie tomorrow…I was too lazy to wash my clothes this weekend so I’m going to just have to get by with my dirty ones for Monday. Well, they’re not dirty dirty, just unwashed and kind of wrinkled. I think I’m going to either go to sleep or go into the living room and watch TV and eat English muffins. Probably the latter.

> Rammstein - Mutter

Oh, as a sidebar, I got an offline message on Yahoo Messenger from…omg, I think I forgot his name–oh yeah, Paul. I kind of like him, although I’ve never seen a picture of him. He has this schitzophrenic beauty…well to his mind at least. I picture it as a big ball of rusty knives, all facing out and all melty in the center. I wish I had a picture of him, he says he has spiked hair and stuff…but it might have just been to impress me. He’s a Seventh-Day Adventist (I met him through Mindy) and he likes my black-razor-new-wave-goth-punkness. I don’t know what to call it. I guess he just likes me. He likes HELLA-LAME music though (Powerman 5000, ’nuff said) I could never fuck anyone who wouldn’t be either Marilyn Manson or Trent Reznor’s eternal love slave. I mean, he likes music that sounds cool, but that has STUPID, nonsensical lyrics. I mean, everybody likes songs with meaningless lyrics, but that is what his entire genre of tastes comprises. And he doesn’t like Nine Inch Nails, Placebo, or Marilyn Manson. I know it sounds petty and trivial, but music is a HUGE part of my life, and I don’t know if I could like, be with someone that I didn’t connect with them on that level. He just signed onto Yahoo messenger, I’m telling him about this entry…lol he wants to read it. Better post it.

> Queens of the Stone Age - You Think I Ain’t Worth A Dollar, But I Feel Like A Millionaire
> Nine Inch Nails - Wish “wish there was something real / wish there was something true / wish there was something real / in this world full of you”
> Nine Inch Nails - Sanctified

Had dinner, talked to Mindy…we had nothing to talk about. I realize I intensely dislike her for no apparent reason. She’s so….lame. She’s a housewife…how loserish. Maybe I’m jealous, but her life is so fucking BORING! I’m not going to call her again, she never calls me. I just called her because I heard our old song “Buddy Holly” by Weezer. Fuck her if she wants to stop being the Mindy I used to know. Earlier today my mom talked to me for like hours, about how her birthday sucked and the kids at her work. I felt like saying gag me. Oh, at sea cruise there were the most beautiful people ever, I saw this guy and girl pushing a baby carriage, he had the tight shirt and flowing black pants, she had the tight purple velvet Morticia dress, I felt like going over and saying “OMG! group hug! you guys are so cute!!!!!” But of course, I could only watch and have a sexual fantasy about the guy. Why do all the cool people have to be straight? Oh, speaking of hot guys, I saw the hottest guy in Safeway…well he wasn’t exactly that hot but I LOVED his hair (I know I sound like a thirteen-year-old, but OMG it was WHITE. I was like, ahh….how beatiful. I guess he thought I was hitting on him…I have a bad staring habit, but when people are uber-stylish, I just can’t help myself. I HATE shopping, it’s such an inexorably social experience. That was my mantra until I got to the checkstand, since I had sufficiently embarassed myself with the white hair guy. He was wearing bondage pants too….mmm…delicious. But anyway, I got some Earl Grey Decaffenated and some English muffins to assuage the embarassment, picturing my yummy breakfast of tea and english muffins the next day (which I had this morning..mmm…yummylicious).

> Rammstien - Ich Will
> Marilyn Manson - I Put A Spell On You (great song…it’s so me)

The yesterday at Danielle’s house was fun, we went to Wal-Mart, I got a black silk tie (beautiful), an extension cord to hang my blacklight from the ceiling (it looks beautiful), and some hooks to hang the christmas lights from. I didn’t get enough because I had to send my mom her scanner ($10!!!). Then we hung out for a while, watched this HILARIOUS episode of Will & Grace. Her brother Chris put on the glow in the dark makeup we’d gotten for halloween just to be an ass and maybe because he was jealous that Dani was hanging out with me. They kind of made up after a while (Dani was mad at Chris for using the makeup). Dani felt like leaving and going somewhere, so we went and wandered around the college campus at like nine-thirtyish. It was so weird. We decided to go to the nature trail to scare ourselves, but we got about thirty meters from it and freaked out…we heard a twig snap and it looked SO CREEPY. We kind of meandered over to the high school, we saw a computer monitor on, and looked at it. It was the security camera display, and I think we were on it. We weren’t doing anything illegal though, so we didn’t really care. We went over by the high school’s track, but freaked out after a while of walking in the dark and rand back towards the light across the parking lot. After we got back, we played Upwords and chess. Well, Chris and I played Chess on his glass chess set (I want a crystal one) while we all played upwords. Towards the middle of the Upwords game, Dani kind of started drawing on her hands, and we kind of abandoned the upwords game, but Chris and I kept playing Chess for like two hours…it was a really good game (Dani drew on herself through the whole thing). I lost, though. It was because I sacrificed my queen early in the game. Dani’s dad drove me home, Chris was kind of being obsessive about the chess game and like playing a lot. I don’t have a board, so we can’t do a long-distance game. Her brother is hella-weird. My dad didn’t give me my allowance this week, I think he’s mad at me or something (I have to admit I haven’t been home much around dinnertime to wash the dishes). I’m going to ask him what I can do for money after I finish this computer session. Whoops, got to go, my dad wants to use the phone.