the diary of antoine roquentin

I’m at Danielle’s house now, it’s all raining so we can’t go to KidTown, but I think I’m going to drag her to wal-mart so I can get a real tie not a clip-on and some lighters for both of us. That would suck if we had to be 18. Her dad is going to take us.

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>Yesterday was so fun, Josh picked me up and we went to Molly’s house to work. I went and cleaned at Molly’s house for like ever. She gave me $30 for it. We played frisbee later, then went to Wing Wah for dinner with amy, molly, and daniela, and robert (josh went home to see his uncle), then we walked over to see Sea Cruise. Daniela and Robert ditched us (losers!) and we walked around. I saw like all of my friends, Danielle and Chris, Casey, Michelle, Stephanie too, and then we went to the Cinemas (for bouncy balls and then the video store for molly to rent movies, amy had a glow in the dark bracelet, I ended up with it somehow. Went home, went to sleep.

Danielle: “I love my rat…but why does she have to eat my clothes?”

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>Nirvana – Lithium
>Rammstein – Ich Will

Okay, this is version 2.0 of the entry I tried to type yesterday, but it got erased. GRR. But here it is.

Today was a great day, a greater than great day, although I didn’t quite know it when I got to school. I could NOT find my red fishnets, and I had structured this whole outfit around them, it made me mad. (I found them the next day, they were in my drawer) Everything was normal until break, the dude with the Navy shirt that tricked out my lighter was there, he liked my blue and purple trippy bouncy ball, I let him have it because I left it in the smoke box and forgot it. He was bouncing it really high, higher than the trees, it was great. He’s so cool. Then everybody left the smoke box except for Casey and me, and we sung this song about everything that was happening around us for like an hour to Nirvana’s “Lithium.” We came up with some really great lyrics, but we didn’t write them down. After that, I was singing everything I said to “Lithium.” Then there was the Drift meeting, we really didn’t get much accomplished, then an ambulance pulled up in front of the High School and we went over to figure out what was going on, then we kind of melted back into the Drift office, we were talking about breast implants and halloween costumes for some reason. I love random conversations. Then I had English with Hypocritical Morass, he was actually helpful in my essay-writing process, he gave me a few tips on organization and stuff. At least he tried. I think he heard me call him a pretentious asshole, although I really don’t care. This chick and I were both talking about how he’ll meticulously correct what we say/write, but when he makes a similar mistake, in his mind he’s infallible. (I was all: “he’s such a pretentious asshole,” and then he walked in. It made me happy, my conversation with her. I decided to write my essay on KidTown, not wanting to be murdered in the wilds behind Safeway, I’m going there with Danielle and her younger brother Chris tomorrow. They live right by the college, and after thinking about the whole thing with her and America I decided that whatever Danielle did, I would have to put up with her anyway, and she is NOT a good person to have as an enemy. We get along 95% of the time anyway, and that’s all that matters–I guess. I wish I could take a class on sociology, the nature of friendships and relationships intrigues me. Well anyway, it was a ‘no art day’, Daniela and I a few weeks ago decided what art classes we were going to and which we weren’t going to, me and Daniela started talking over by the trees visible from the Drift office. Actually, I was walking over to the office from the smoke box when my friend Stephanie (not evil Stephanie) poked me with this PVC pipe sword thing that her and this dude had been fighting with. The dude handed me a sword, and we fought, it was the funniest thing ever because we both stabbed each other at the same time. Edward was walking by, and asked to take pictures of us for an article he might be writing, so Stephanie and I had to stop laughing and pretend we were really trying to hit each other. He got a few pictures, I handed the sword to Stephanie, and I asked Edward if he’d seen Daniela, he said she was in the Drift office. At about that moment, Daniela came out and we rendezvoused (sp?) at the tree thing. I wanted to go into art, because I wanted all the imbeciles in that class to see my “Help! I’m lost in a crowd of stupid people” shirt, but she talked me out of it in about two seconds. Daniela, Edward and I talked for a while, about Nazi Germany (our “safe” subject) to sex, it was a highly amusing conversation. Daniela wanted to play “never have I ever,” the version with a shot for each thing you’ve done, so we ended up piling into Edward’s car and voyaging to Y Liquors to get vodka and sodas to hide it in. It was a hideously funny game. My favorite quote: Me and Daniela: ‘what do you mean by “orgy”…like how many people?’ It was great. I had to go home though, I wasn’t really buzzed or anything though, I go through weird mood swings all the time, if I really was buzzed I doubt my dad would have noticed. On the way home I randomly mentioned the journalism conference in San Fransisco and he sounded all positive so I was all “yay, I can go” but on the inside of course. We had dinner and I talked to Kelly online for a bit. Taggart wanted the Manson ticket back! He’s such a poser/loser. Kelly says he was the first person to get out of the mosh pit at Ozzfest. Can you say: pussy? Anyway, I guess that was it.

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I just wanted to add that Casey kiss-raped me today, she’s all “give me a kiss” and I was all thinking okay, on the cheek, she went for the mouth, I’m like oooookay that was different. And Suzie was frickin’ craving a doughnut ALL DAY. But yeah, Danielle was being judgemental about this one guy over something COMPLETELY TRIVIAL AND STUPID. God, these Crescent City-ites need to GROW UP; Danielle included. I heard that Richard’s leaving in a week, that’s going to be amusing.

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Orgy – 107
:wumpscut: – Witches’ Dance

I felt much better today–my dad gave me the money I earned painting the house and I went on a shopping spree with Danielle, it was great. I kind of realized today that all that stress about everything had completely fried my nerves. I took a relaxation bath tonight–I am now completely at zen. I got some fishnets today, I was going to wear a miniskirt tomorrow, but then I realized that as high as my boots go, I’d only have like three inches of exposed leg, it was just lame. I have to get some ankle-high boots–and the stupid currency rates are horrible (I have to buy my stuff from England). Evil world currency markets. Why can’t England’s economy crash? Just for one day? Oh well. I guess I’m returning to my normal materialistic self, which is kind of good.

I wish I could have laid around and read a novel, I had to finish painting the house, and then I had to go into town to see my friend Danielle…a social life is so strenuous. I feel like I’m the entertainment sometimes, but maybe that’s what friendship is about, to some degree.

Molly offered to pay me to clean her house, and she’d give me rides to and from my house. I’d love to do it: the fringe benefits are great (intelligent conversation), I just have to ask my dad first, I doubt he’ll have any problems with it though. I do a lot of menial work at my house, but the company is much less entertaining. I sometimes think my father was years ago replaced by an animatronic robot…but then I realize a robot couldn’t possibly be that lame. It would require a new programming language to fully emulate his lameness.

I don’t think I was seriously considering suicide yesterday, I haven’t experienced life as a homeless person, that would be quite an interesting experience…well…maybe from a philosophical perspective. Not having any posessions any more would be strange, all the stuff it took me years to get just gone. Hmm. Unless the world ends tomorrow, I’m going to finally get my dye!! I think I’m going to do it at school just because I won’t be able to wait until I get home. Tomorrow is going to be fun…I think. I still have to write that stupid plan tomorrow morning…I’m not sure what the essay is going to be on. The world is so cruel, I have class during Letko’s office hours. Evilness. I think I am going to do it on the area behind Safeway, I heard there’s an underground prostiution ring that runs from behind there. Well, I guess it isn’t underground if everyone knows about it, but still. Perhaps tomorrow I’ll go exploring, after I get my dye.

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