(historical note: I have no idea when this post was written, I just found it on Nov. 18, 2003 in the Drafts folder which I just found out how to use, it said when it was posted but I forgot it and it’s gone now, I think it’s the fifth or sixth of Nov. 03, so I’m posting it there, it was such a great day I can’t let it go to waste)

> Nirvana - Lithium
> The Rocky Horror Picture Show - The Time Warp
> Rammstein - Ich Will

Today was the coolest day ever, althoug I didn’t think so this morning. I couldn’t find my damn red fishnets, and I structured a whole outfit around them…I wore my black ones, and I used my Battlestar Galactica lunchbox as an accessory. :( I did Egyptian make-up, with the eye lines, and some of that black eyeshadow I got at the Beauty Supply. Fuck, my typing hands hurt, I’m just going to put key words so I can type it later…Casey-bathroom, boob chick and chewing tobacco guy with knife, casey depressed, Lithium, casey poetry, camera, ask about fishnets, Dani at box, walk in forest, dude pot, back to school, Drift meeting, ambulance thing, Letko pretentious asshole, help with essay, on KidTown, no art day, Daniela Edward and I, alcohol, never have I ever, sap, mindy and dani phone, molly e-mail, kelly IM.

Well, I should finish A Clockwork Orange (one chapter left!) and start my Philosophy chapter, this one is really interesting, it’s about the self. One perspective is that nothing exists, only one’s mind, and everyone else that you talk to are just parts of your own self, I found that so freeing. I’m not usually an idealist (in the philosophical meaning of the word), but that is such a cool viewpoint, that everyone and everything we know is just part of one big mind. I was kind of in the middle betweeen rationalism and idealism, but now I think I’m going to take that extreme viewpoint, just because it makes everything matter even less.

I love how death, suicide, and decay surrounds me when I’m at the college, all the cancerous cigarettes, mind-altering drugs, and poisionous pills and alcohol, the levels of toxicity, it’s so beautiful. This is like the happiest day ever. God, I am so manic!

> The Verve - Bittersweet Symphony
> Elastica - Human

Today was kind of cool, Star kept calling me and begging me to come over. What a loser. Can’t I have some frickin’ time to myself? God. Well, I almost finished Candide, it’s really good, I’m reading my next philosophy chapter (morality) because I think I have a paper due on it on Tuesday. I think me and Daniela’s art papers are due Tuesday as well, but I highly doubt I’ll be able to crank it out with my wrists. They crack all the time and ache. It’s not fun.
Oh, I started this post to type in something hideously amusing, said by Danielle’s mom when we went to wal-mart yesterday (no, I didn’t buy anything–I don’t support slave labor). Well, somehow the conversation turned to seagulls…and Danielle’s mom said there were seagulls in Salt Lake City. I was suprised, and I was all, why? Her response:

Her: “To send out the plague of grasshoppers, the Lord Jesus Christ sent seagulls.”
Me: “Um…okay….isn’t it just as logical that a big storm or something blew them there?”
Her: “Well I believe that the Lord Jesus sent them. The seagulls came and ate the plague of grasshoppers.”
Me: “Well, if Jesus was so concerned with grasshoppers, why didn’t he step in and stop the world wars?”
Her: “That wasn’t in Jesus’s plan.”
Me: “Gosh, he must love animals. All the little allegories with the animals.”
Then we arrived.

Thought, not spoken: Hmm, when it comes to human lives he’ll just sit on his fat divine ass, but gosh, when there are lots of grasshoppers, “I MUST SAVE SALT LAKE CITY!!!!!” Well, I guess people will believe in anything. Perhaps I should start convincing her the sky is actually green, that Jesus sent blue to get rid of the plague of green. lol.

“Satan has been the best friend the church has ever had, as he has kept it in business all these years!”

–Anton LaVey