“To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.”
–Bertrand Russell
I’m one part dead then…love is scary poop…
> Paul Oakenfold - This Is Trance
The quote that ends this post has particular meaning, because my mom and I kind of had a fight on the phone a few days ago. I don’t know how we got on the subject, but it was basically me saying that my mom doesn’t respect my ideas and opinions. I’ve been trying to get her to read the classic Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World, but she keeps saying she “never has time.” I reminded her that she had all summer (which was completely true), and she hung up on me. What the fuck? She just really doesn’t want to read anything that interests me. She could find time if she really wanted to. Hell, if she read one sentence a day since I first wanted her to read it, she’d be about 1,400 sentences into it. It really irks me how she does these mind games. What I realized, that night while washing the dishes, is that my mom has emotions, social skills and no intellect, and my dad has an intellect and no social skills or emotions. There’s nothing in between. They both suck, and they both are completely irrational. I should call her tomorrow. Oh, since my parents are both dunces, I’m just going to conduct my writing knowing they will never see this. Why I say this is that I dicovered what I’m going to get my Mom for Christmas and the belated present for her birthday. If you are reading this, Mom, then I take it back, you’re not technologically inept, and don’t read further because you’ll spoil the surprise. Anyway, I’m going to paint her a picture of Edward Scissorhands (because she loves that movie) and I’m going to get her the soundtrack for Christmas.
“You will never �find� time for anything. If you want time you must make it.”
–Charles Buxton
Been reading Tara’s blog–she’s so cool! I’ll help her make the rest black when I see her. I love that tatoo–it’s gravy. I’m 18 now so I can get tatoos, I want an intricate pentacle on my one shoulder. I’d e-mail you if I knew your address, Tara! I haven’t extricated it from Tawna yet. Speaking of shoes, I’m on a quest for stylish combat boots, I’m going to Sacramento this Thursday and I hope to get some–I think I’m going to run by Wal-Mart to see if they have anything I want–I mean it’s a possibility–combat boots aren’t too alternative.
and these are the ones I want: http://www.pennangalan.co.uk/boots/catimg/FW180.jpg. Simple, I know, but they would be for everyday wear.
Boot heaven: http://www.pennangalan.co.uk/boots/catimg/FW110.jpg
A Perfect Circle - Judith
Velvet Acid Christ - Slut
:wumpscut: - War
Marilyn Manson - Dogma
Rammstein - Spieluhr
The day was kind of fun, I woke up at like five, and rode into town with my dad. Danielle and Christine were waiting for me outside, and we went in Dani’s house to sleep. We slept to the Sleepy Hollow soundtrack. Christine and I woke up cuz Dani was snoring, but I fell back asleep. We woke up at like 10, and by the time I got dressed (I’d packed a pair of bondage pants, the leather suspenders Edward had given me, and my black trenchcoat. I met Molly at eleven, we did the kilt extravaganza which entailed going to the bank and stuff. I can’t be more in-depth because I left my wrist brace at Danielle’s. I went to the meeting, we didn’t really get much accomplished–I mean, it was productive, but we didn’t get as much as I wanted to accomplished. We weren’t able to do this because Josh didn’t feel like showing up. Either he didn’t know about the meeting (which from what Daniela says is highly probable), or he is just being passive-agressive. I really don’t care. As my 85 year old grandpa says “shit or get off the toilet.” He needs to either stop talking about wanting to write, or come to meetings. We’re not going to hunt him down and go “please please pretty please with ice cream on top, would you please come back to us?” He needs to grow up. I’m saying all this on the premise that he knew about the meeting and didn’t show up, if not, I suppose he’s not culpable. Anyway, Daniela and I hung out after the meeting and discussed the Josh vs. Molly situation. We really haven’t gotten anywhere, Josh says one thing, Molly says another–the only solution would for them to both sit down and rationally address every issue without emotions running out of control. But of course, this is rationality, not to be confused with reality. Oh well. It’s not my problem, but I think that Josh should get some balls and come and tell us at a meeting what happened, why he quit, and what his role in the future will be. Well, Daniela needed to light her cigarette and I didn’t have my lighter, so I suggested we go over to Danielle’s house and use Christine’s torch. Little did I know that her parents were having an apocalyptic battle–it was crazy. I felt so bad for Daniela, I would have never even suggested it if I knew that Danielle’s parents fought. I feel so bad about it–but yea the fighting was getting so crazy that Christine, Daniela, and I went to walk to Gas 4 Less–it was a war zone in that living room, but we made it through okay. Daniela, Christine, and I went to Gas 4 Less and I bought cigarettes to put in the cigarette case that Daniela is going to decorate for me. We saw Casey on the way over, and she started walking with us. We got to Gas 4 Less and I got a pack of camel filters, Casey implored me for a pack of gum, I got a diet moutain dew, and Chrstine got a water. I wanted to walk to the pawn shop to see if they had any torches (a bhutane version of a lighter [i.e. uber-gravy]), and Daniela didn’t feel like walking, so we said our goodbyes (I’m not going to see Daniela for like a week, she’s going to Florida on Sunday), and Christine and I continued on to the pawn shop and other thrift shops in search of shot glasses, brandy decanters, and torches. My dad happened to be driving by, and gave us a ride to Safeway, him and I agreed that he’d pick me up at five because we were going out to dinner and I wanted to eat at Circle J. So Christine and I continued on, we stopped in the Christian store, then we tried to look in this little antiques store, but it was closed, a note on the door said to go to this place behind the BayView Inn, so we went to the pawn shop which was next door (they didn’t have any torches), and then we continued to the antiques shop behind the BayView inn. They had SUCH cool stuff, actual antiques, instead of the normal crap that one sees in such junk shops. It was very cool. I felt like not stopping out thrift shopping extravaganza, so I suggested we got to the big purple thrift shop near the harbor, and it was there that I found what I had been searching for for ever, a black suit jacket. It fit me and everything, I was so happy! And $5 too! I got this little briefcase with a thing to put tapes in as well, for two bucks. We then started back, but Christine was cold so she put on my black trenchcoat, we looked funny. We hit Undersea World on the way, all they had was stupid shot glasses with whales on them (are clear, normal shot glasses so wrong?). I saw this one chick that I’d met through Carrie working there, she has a Japanese name that I can’t remember, but it’s pretty. Anyway, on the way back we stopped in to Front Street Emporium, and this one chick was working there that I knew too! It was gravy, we talked for a bit, then continued on, Christine had to be picked up by like four and we were kind of late. We then went over to Pele Winds in search of black hemp, which they were out of, and then we went back to the house, walking REALLY fast all the way. We had a great conversation the whole walk, but I can’t remember what it was about. Anyway, we got to Dani’s house and Dani’s parents had reconciled I guess, I went to walk Christine home (she lives in town now). After she went into her house and I was going back to Dani’s, I saw Star and Michelle, we talked for a while, then I walked back to Dani’s–loving every moment in my prettyful suit jacket. Anyway, I was only there a few minutes before my dad showed up. I piled my stuff in and told the story about my jacket, and we went to Circle J, they liked it (they being my dad’s girlfriend, my dad never expresses anything) I got sushi and they got sandwiches. We went back, and his girlfriend (Lisa) said that she couldn’t access my blog…I thought the way I’d given her the URL was idiot-proof, but alas…she must have mistyped it. Anyway, I worked on that briefcase I bought, it looks so cool on the inside and outside, it’s green fur inside and I cleaned most of the mold off the outside. I don’t know what I’ll carry in it, but it’s sure cool-looking. I might cover it in pictures of stuff, but I’m not sure yet, the exterior doesn’t look that bad. Well, tomorrow I have to write my research paper, so I should probably get some sleep. Molly and I didn’t get to do our DVD extravaganza–maybe next week we’ll have time. And just to note I BOUGHT MY KILT TODAY!!!! They didn’t have it in stock, so I’ll have to wait 6-8 weeks :(((( I really hope it comes soon. Well, it’ll get here for December..omg it won’t even be here in December, it’ll be here late January–how homosexual! I really hope it’s early. Anyway, I polished the boot covers Edward gave me, they’re all pretty and black now, I must get ankle-high boots to wear under them. I found the coolest boots–ask me for the pic of them, it’s in my binder. Well, I must be going.
