“The opposite of love is apathy, and hate is really the same as love. If you’re so consumed by hatred for someone, you might as well be loving them, because you’re thinking about them for the same amount of time.”
–Marilyn Manson
> Madonna - Waiting
> Orgy - Dizzy “you’re just a pretty face in a room full of whores”
> Garbage - Push It
> Marilyn Manson - Slutgarden
Today was kind of cool. Like…mixed. Ambivalence. Zen. Went over to Danielle’s house, her and Christine were there. Loaned Christine SLC Punk. Dani fell asleep, and Christine and I walked to Wal-Mart for me to get my ears pierced. I didn’t really like their earrings, so me and Christine walked around for a bit for me to decide. I saw Molly and Diane, Molly talked about the movie we watched (The Tenant), it was Diane’s. Introduced Christine to Molly–Christine seemed disturbed that Molly vicariously knew her but she didn’t mention it after we said goodbye. We wandered for a while, then I just decided to do it. Christine convinced me. We stood there admiring the Zippos for like ten minutes before Christine got impatient and was all “he needs his ears pierced!” I’m so quiet. But yea, the lady got it all ready and did it, I had to hold Christine’s hand. The first one kind of hurt, but it was in the perfect spot. The second one, however, was waay too high. They said I could take it out and I could get it done again for free the next day (it has to heal 24 hours before they can do it again). I had the lady take it out, it didn’t really hurt, I was so high on endorphins. It felt trippy. My hands were all shaking and stuff. So I’m forced to go into town tomorrow and hope that Dani will go with me. But anyway, I got myself an icee as a reward and promised myself that I’d buy myself a Zippo when I went and got the one side done again. Christine and I walked back, and it turns out Danielle had gotten all freaked out that we’d left without telling her. She is so just like her mom–so Crescent City. But anyway, I had to go walk to the orthodontist’s, my appointment was at 3:40 and it was like 3:15. The retainer fit fine. I’m going to wear it tonight. I would be wearing it now but it makes my mouth taste like plastic. I have to sterilize it or something with Listerine. More like de-plastic-ify it. My dad picked me up and we went to Safeway. I made a detour over to the christian bookstore, I wanted this shirt me and Christine had seen there ages ago. It said “friends don’t let friends go to hell.” We thought it was hilarious. But they didn’t have it any more and I didn’t feel like asking. Went home, we had tacos and I watched an episode of Star Trek I’d never seen. I really want my UCB shirt to get here, I sent away for it a while ago. Grr. Evil 6 to 8 weeks. I think it’s been six–maybe. I really want to see the end of Natural Born Killers. And I wish people would e-mail me. I e-mailed Kelly and Molly this morning and nothing *tear*. Oh, it turns out Taggart is going after some girl–let’s see–her name is Chrissy. My cousin Kelly says “I doubt they will [get together], though, because she hangs out w/ all the people that hate him. It’s really funny how he does this. What is the god damn point of going from person to person, faking a healthy relationship? [...] It’s really depressing how he makes people feel special until they break up, and then they realize how it was all bullshit.” Couldn’t have been summed up more eloquently. Depressing. But I’m reserving my judgement. I really want to light one of his cigarettes with my Zippo. Mmm…it’s shiny stainless steel. I must con Danielle into coming with me to Wal-Mart tomorrow.
The sun is up–I think I’m going to go hunt for my friends. And maybe read a bit. Eh…that would involve effort. I noticed something yesterday, and thought it was interesting if one didn’t know. It’s one of those things like when the power went out in the middle of the night and I felt like nobody knew but me. In Wal-Mart, in the mornings, around seven or eight, they pull all their employees to the back, the fabric section, they have this little meeting about trying to be the best wal-mart ever and then they do one of those things where everybody puts their hands in and then they go “yay.” But instead of “yay” it’s “Wal-Mart!” I just thought that was strange. I once stood in one of the aisles and listened to part of it. It’s like wal-mart is more than a store, it’s a religion. Perhaps that’s another reason why the company is so successful.
Woke up, got dressed. I love my outfit today, but I really don’t like the fact that I have no comfortable shoes to wear with it. I must get some ankle-high comfortable boots. Grr. These are my dream. Anyway, I look pretty but have nothing to do until 3:40, that’s when I get my retainer fitted. I should go to Wal-Mart and check out their headphone selection, I just loathe these headphones and I realized it this morning. They are too noisy, I have to turn them to very uncomfortable volume levels to hear the nuances of the music. Grr. But I must not spend money. Maybe I’ll go get my ears pierced today. I don’t think I’ll be able to get Christine/Danielle to go with me, though. They suck. Well, it’s not exactly their fault I disappeared for like two hours yesterday, but yea. I must con Christine into walking to the tattoo place with me today. I can’t go in alone. Scary tattoo parlorness. I think my social anxiety disorder stuff is coming back. Perhaps that makes me needy. But if I ended up hooking up with someone else who was like that–well actually that would be kind of bad, we’d both be hesitant to do things. Perhaps not though. I really want to find out what tattoo Tara got! Tawna and I have been dying to know. It really sucks, I wanted to go with Tara when she got it :( Oh well. I suppose I should be going–although I have nowhere to go. I brought DVDs for Christine and Danielle, Christine wants to borrow SLC Punk, and I brought extras just for something to watch if we’re bored. OMG–I was checking out Amazon.com (I wanted to see how much Event Horizon was on DVD), I checked my DVD recommendations, and there was the movie Molly and I watched on Monday, The Tenant. Synchronicity is cool. I’m so buying it, it’s only $10.
On the way home I asked my dad when we were going to Sacramento. My dad said Tuesday of next week. He also was saying that we should bring the horse trailer so as to put a car that he would buy in it for the ride back to CC. I was pleased. After we made it to the house my dad asked me if I wanted to go for a quick driving lesson. I was all: sure! My dad drove Lisa’s car (a red Jeep) down to Pacific shores, and we changed places. I was so nervous, but it was remarkably easy. Well, that’s probably because her car is an automatic. But anyway, I started it, and I was accelerating to like 5mph and braking, but soon I was going around twenty-five and braking non-jerkily. He had me make U-turns and normal turns and stuff, it was quite easy. The hard part was avoiding the gaping potholes everywhere. I was quite at ease with under 30mph driving. We got back to the normal road and he asked me if I wanted to drive back to the house. After some hesitation, I acquiesced. I drove down Kellogg slowly–under 25, probably like 20. When I got to the intersection of Kellogg and Lower Lake I got kind of weirded out because you can’t see cars down one side of the intersection. I kind of went out slowly to see, and went across the intersection. I had some trouble keeping the speed I wanted (and there were two cars coming in the other direction), but I turned and continued towards the house. I’d forgotten to signal though, which really irked me, I wish he would have reminded me to signal when I was doing turns before cuz then I would have gotten into the habit of it. I hate drivers that don’t signal. I turned into the driveway and parked the car in the front of the house. It was so cool. I went right into the house and turned on the computer to blog about the experience, but Kelly was on and I talked to her for the few minutes before dinner. I don’t remember what we had, but everybody liked the cookies. I love them. They look like something that one would buy in a store. But yea, I was really tired by then (I’d gotten two hours of sleep the night before), so I got ready for bed and retired to my room to watch Natural Born Killers. I hooked up my camcorder to the TV, and popped in the tape. It was a really good movie but I had to stop it because I was too tired. I hope to watch the rest of it today at Dani’s.
