> Orgy – 107
> Orgy – Eyes-Radio-Lies
I fucking love 107. I want to be dismembered to that song. Anyway, my dad and I went car shopping yesterday, and I got one, a ’97 Mercury Mystique. It’s like a Ford Taurus. It was like $4,000. Right. He won’t take me to the fucking doctor, but he’ll buy me a car? I’m not complaining though. I went with the Antichrist when she drove it back to her house, and she was so nice to me, we talked for a while and she was all complimenting me left and right. I got to drive my car (I love how that sounds) around for a while, and then I ended up going to sleep on the Antichrist’s couch. I slept there for like, hours and hours. My dad left in the morning, he towed my car up to Crescent City. I hung out at the Antichrist’s all day (to my dismay). I kept trying to get ahold of Kelly and Kathy but they were chronically gone. I’m so never leaving again. Taggart came over to Kelly’s when I was still at Grammie’s (the Antichrist). It so sucked. I finally got ahold of Kelly and he talked to me. He was all “I wish we would have gotten to see each other.” I’m beginning to move closer to Zen. During the Justin + junior year era, I would have taken that as “I wish I could have laid in your arms all day and gazed into each others’ eyes as we meditated on our intense passion for each other.” But now, I hear “I wish we could have fucked today.” Which is cool. Kathy talked with me about safe sex, and I am completely convinced that the next time I see him I’m going to talk with him about it. But, of course I know that I’m not going to think twice about it once we start touching each other. I know myself too well. Live fast die young. I went with Kathy to get groceries and ended up spending my bus ticket money. Well, not all of it, but enough so that I can’t get a bus ticket any more. I’m trying to sweet-talk my friend Jon in Arcata to see if I can stay with him for a while and have him drive me the rest of the way. I’m going to see how much I’ll save if I only go to Arcata. And my dad could concievably pick me up in Arcata too. Sweet! A one-way to Arcata is only $41! Fucking hella-sweet. All I gotta do is blow Jon and I’ll have him under my thumb. Well, not really, but it sounds so–made-for-TV movie. So risque. Perhaps I should add something about us scoring some crystal. I need some excitement. I hope Taggart comes over tomorrow so we can fuck. I haven’t been jerking off at all, like for days. I would say it’s because I can get the real thing, but studies have shown that married couples still masturbate. Hmm. I need more time to contemplate this. I was really tempted last night, I kept picturing him touching me and kissing me, like a lurid peep show inside my head that I couldn’t stop. But I just listened to music. I’m becoming obsessed with “The Love Song” by Manson.
I got a crush on a pretty pistol
Should I tell [him] that I feel this way
Father told us to be faithful
I got a crush on a pretty pistol
Should I tell [him] that I feel this way
I got love songs killing us away
[He] tells me I’m a pretty bullet
I’m gonna be a star someday
Mother says that we should look away
[He] tells me I’m a pretty bullet
An Imitation Christ
I’ve got love songs in my head
That are killing us away
Anyway, Taggart is a pretty pistol. He’s coming over. He just called. He got kicked out of his house (surprise surprise). I should finish this post, we’re watching Dark City.
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