I just want to put a link on here to Project Gutenberg, the place that converts public-domain books into downloadable ebooks. They have thousands of books on their site, it’s amazing.

Project Gutenburg: http://promo.net/pg/index.html

Pretty much every important book published before around 1923 is on there.

Just wasted some time on Amazon.com drooling over stuff I don’t have the money to buy. I can’t do anything else on Neopets, buisiness wasn’t good today. I got an e-mail from Christine today, it was so nice. She apologized and everything, it was so endearing. I would post the message but she’s gained my respect again. I didn’t get any response from Danielle–I’m not sure how to interpret that. I wonder if she hates me. Hmm. Kelly’s DVD player broke last night so we can’t watch movies any more, it’s kind of a sign that my visit here is over. I’m going to be leaving in a few days and I need to get in touch with my dad and/or Jon because of my whole travel quandary. I have only enough money to get to Arcata, either my dad is going to have to pick me up there or he’s going to have to finance the difference ($30). I’m supposed to hang out with Jon for a while in Arcata, and if all else fails he can drive me the rest of the way, but like, I haven’t talked to him in days. I need to e-mail him. Kelly has to use the computer, I’ll finish this post in a bit.

I got an e-mail from Molly, she said she’s not going to read my blog any more–which is kind of sad, when I was posting I knew I had at least an audience of one, but now I might just be typing to myself–which in some ways is comforting and distressing at the same time. Hmm. I need to edit old entries, I should get on that. Kelly went to bed, Jared is painting, I’m blogging, and we’re talking. I really like Jared–I respect him. Which says a lot.

I’ve done a lot of thinking about the whole Danielle/Christine situation, and I finally collected my thoughts enough to write Danielle an e-mail. It’s below:

Hello,
I’ve done a lot of thinking about this whole situation, and I have to confess it’s quite sickening. Everything I wrote in my journal I felt at the time. I’m sorry for having offended you, but everything I said echoed the things that you told me. You told me your parents do drugs. Fact. You do drugs. Fact. Your parents argue. Fact. You told me you wanted to leave as soon as possible. Fact. So I assumed that your home wasn’t a good environment. Where did I err? I’ve watched so much drama orbiting your life–not to say I don’t have any of my own but mine doesn’t involve “kicking people’s asses” and unreasoning hatred of complete strangers. I think that it’s really petty that I have to agonize over every word in this e-mail because I know everyone in your house is going to end up reading it. I suspect pretty much regardless of what I say you’re going to hate me, give me dirty looks whenever you see me, and threaten to “kick my ass” or whatever. I’ve kind of accepted that, but just know that I never meant to hurt you or insult you. You want me to erase my journal entries? I’ll edit them, of course, and remove all the cheap shots, ad hominem, and profanity–but I don’t think that deleting them will accomplish anything. I have misgivings about your lifestyle, your family, and your future. The thing that you don’t seem to be seeing is that I really care about you, devoting entire journal posts to agonizing over your future isn’t a hateful act. Would I care enough about a stranger’s future to write extensively about it? No. I feel like I should include a paragraph for each of the people who will end up reading this, but I guess I’ll just pretend that this message is only going to be read by you. I suppose “I’m sorry” is wholly inadequate, but I never intended to hurt you or become your enemy. The edit of my journal posts will be done–probably by the end of the day.

–Darius