Fuck. I just got out of the biology lab. I had no fucking idea what was going on–I’m so scared that I’m going to fail. I don’t understand–the lab is the same class or a different class? What the fuck? I just had the biggest fucking stress attack of my fucking life. I’m like WHERE THE FUCK IS MY FUCKING ADD/DROP SLIP. I was so freaked out, it was one of those third grade “we’re all in our tables and we’re not going to let you into our little preestablished social groups” things. I just want to cry. The classroom part of it was fine, I completely understood everything he was saying–but the whole social aspect of the lab just made me stress. Stress isn’t the right word. It was like–the pressure of the world all on me. All the people knew each other–I couldn’t deal. I couldn’t cope. It was fight or flight, and I fucking flew. Well anyway, we went camping Saturday night and it was SO FUN!!! Daniela came–it was so gravy. Daniela and I are talking about getting married for the fuck of it! It’ s going to be so fun. I hope we do. Well after that Jordan and I went to my house and put up the insulation and hung out, we watched The Doom Generation. He calls me fucker now, from the “I love you fucker” thing. It’s so cute. Well, around seven we (well actually Jordan) got this idea of going to Club West in Eureka (a two-hour drive south). He talked me into it and we called Kevin up, we got all dressed up and went! It was so fun! We listened to Aphex Twin like, obsessively. I am so in love with Aphex Twin–Kevin lent me Druqks, the 2-disc CD we’d been listening to on the trip. Well when we first got to the club it was not really cool but later in the night it really picked up. I ended up seeing Jon–and he really wasn’t too bad looking. The music SO sucked but when we were looking for people we found this room in the back where they played industrial–it was SO GREAT. I was all “This music sucks, and I walk in there and they’re playing Bjork’s Army Of Me, and then they started playing Kovenant–I was in heaven. I was all “If they play ‘Heresy’ I’m going go mess myself.” But it was really empty though, there were these two girls dancing in there and that was it–but it was good music so it was okay. I met some of Jordan’s Eureka clique–and the forty-four year old he had relations with. I swear, that Jordan is such a grave robber. We all know (and I delight in informing him) what Freud would say about that whole situation. Well we had fun, I got so many compliments on my boots and my kilt–and we ended up staying the night at Jordan’s friend’s house and we drove back early in the morning–well not really early, like nine or ten, but still. We stopped in Oreck and got doughnuts and water and listened to more Aphex Twin, it was quite possibly the funnest trip ever. And this whole biology nightmare is, I think, the reciprocity for all that fun. I need to talk to the teacher during office hours or after class because the whole lab thing boggles my brain. I’m so lost as to what is going on. Is the lab a separate class? Because his syllabus says nothing about the lab. I just don’t get it. Jordan just walked into the library, I waved. He’s talking to one of his friends. Oh, on the way to my house we picked up my nihilist shirt I had made, it’s SO FREAKING GRAVY! I’m still waiting for somebody to come up and go “that is so tasteful!” But it’s Crusty Shitty. Crusty Shitty is the new name for Crescent Shitty. It’s gotten so shitty that it’s become crusty. OMG OMG OMG during our camping trip Kevin explained to us what a blumpty is–it’s when someone gets a blowjob while they take a crap, and it’s of course the funniest word in the world, so we were making ENDLESS blumptey jokes–I think the whole trip was just one endless blumpty joke. Well, Jordan just came over, I think I’ll go. More elaboration on the Eureka trip later. Farewell, my loyal readers.

Well, a lot of crap happened since my dad’s meltdown on Friday. Jordan called and I felt better. We’d planned to go camping with Kevin and Ben Saturday, so I was so looking forward to that. I kind of hung around Saturday in my room (my dad was creepily nice to me when I went out to forage for food). I read enough of my photography book to know that the camera I had wasn’t going to work and that I needed to convince my mom to send me her $500 camera (which I did). Shit, I just looked at my syllabus. I’m thirty minutes late for the lab for biology. Shit.