God damn it. I went to take a shit and the college is closed. Motherfuckers. Now where will I take a shit, I ask you. Where? Where? Where?

I just realized I have enough money to get a shirt from T-shirt Hell. I want to get this one SO bad.

http://www.tshirthell.com/shirts/tshirt.php?sku=a276

I think that is the most religiously insensitive thing I’ve ever seen. And I also want Jesus Did It For The Chicks. That’s another great one. Damn me and my spendy ways–now I can’t fill up my tank. I’m going to have to clean the kitchen. Oh well, it’ll make the parental unit happy. I do need to do some chores or he’ll have another shit fit. Goddamn my laziness, now I have to wait for Jordan to get off work. Hm. I don’t like how he keeps saying he’s going to “college.” Beauty college isn’t college, it’s a trade school. Beauty college is just what it’s called. If you’re going to be a mechanic, you don’t go to “car college.” I don’t know, that just kind of irks me. I’m not saying what he’s learning isn’t difficult, I’m just saying that its aim isn’t philosophical enlightenment and learning–just doing hair. Fixing cars. Wiring things. Fixing pipes. Trade schools are about learning how to do things, not learning itself. So it irks me when he says he’s going to “college,” when he hasn’t passed a college class in his life. Gosh, that Jesus shirt is only $17. And it’s so great. I must get it the instant I get home. Screw the blank CDs, I can always get them, but to get a shirt that will piss off more people than I’ve ever pissed off before? Priceless. Oh yeah. Well, I was torn between going home with my dad and staying to hang out with Jordan–our relationship is kind of becoming weird to me. All we seem to do is drive around, but that’s because I’ve been sick. I hope I feel good this weekend, we should have some fun. I mean, the depressing thing is that I really want to make out with him but I really don’t want to because I’m afraid I’m giving him some horrible disease. Crapness. I don’t want to walk all the way to his house in the rain and cold–that can’t be good for me. Oh! I’ll just call him! Yay. Well, it’s almost four, I think I’m going to take another nap. Or read.

Cleaned out my inbox, then decided to take a nap. I left a light on so Molly would know I was inside the office, she showed up and said she had a few things to do at the college, then we’d go to the clinic. Half-asleep, I was all “cool.” Went back to sleep, she came back a time later and I rolled off the couch, grabbed my wallet, and somnambulated towards her car. I don’t remember what we were talking about, but we were having a great conversation (as usual). We got to the clinic, went to the little reception window, and filled out some papers. There was this incredibly rude woman there clanging stuff around and using a loud voice–so Crescent City. They said they’d call me when they were ready, so Molly and I sat down in the waiting room (filled to the brim with Crescent City trailer people) and talked. They called me, and took me back. They weighed me and I was 140lbs. It was insane. With my clothes on, too. I must have lost a lot of weight that week I couldn’t eat. The nurse took my blood pressure and everything, and then left me to wait for the doctor. It took a while, but finally the doctor arrived. She was a somewhat fashionable woman in her forties, with short blond hair. She looked in my mouth and everything, and asked me some questions, and then decided to check to see if it was strep throat. The nurse swabbed my throat and disappeared. The doctor came in and told me that she thought my bleeding/sensitive gums was periodontis (gum disease), and that she thought the white sores on the back of my tounge were part of the rest of the disease. I disagree, but she prescribed me an antibiotic to take if I wasn’t feeling better by Monday, which was cool. She checked, and it wasn’t strep throat, the test came back negative. She decided to do a blood test, they said they’d call me if anything anomalous showed up. It kind of hurt, but as I always do I just imagine them poking me with a tack, it’s so much less disturbing than what’s really going on. OMG I just read the funniest thing in the fucking world:

“Courtney Love, whose swollen lips are looking more and more like two pieces of raw liver grafted onto her face [...]“

LMAO. My god, I can’t stop laughing…. Well anyway, after the clinic Molly and I went to Wing Wah for soup. I had egg flower and Molly had Sweet & Sour. I could eat the whole bowl of it, it was so yummy and delicious, it was the first time I’d been full in it felt like weeks. We had a great conversation, and Mike Schmeltzer, the Triplicate guy, came in and Molly introduced me to him. Well, after that, we went to Wal-Mart, Molly had to pick up some last-minute Valentine’s Day gifts for her kids. It was great, she remembered how Jordan and I are celebrating I’m Not A Fucking Idiot Day (see post @ 2/10/2004 8:07AM). Well at least I’m celebrating it. But at the rate I’m going I’m not going to have any money ten days from tomorrow. Well anyway, I got a movie (The Contender) and some nail polish remover. I was going to get blank CDs, but I didn’t think I’d have enough money. I really would have, come to think of it, but I didn’t want to spend all my money. I think I’m going to steal some of my dad’s change so I have a ten left after I break my last twenty instead of just some singles. I’ve been giving Jordan a lot of gas money too, but I mean he is giving me rides home pretty much every day so I can’t not give him gas money. I wish I could go driving today, but it’s raining. My dad gets off work in four minutes. I can’t decide whether to ride home with him (and possibly drive) or stay here until five (and hang out with Jordan). I mean, I don’t feel sick at all now but the evening, especially 8:00, is the witching hour–I may be flat on my back again then. Hm. My dad gets off work in one minute now. Eh, it’s raining cats and dogs. I’m not going to go running out there. It’s a bad storm, he won’t let me drive anyway.

Some people think the worst part of Razor Blade Pizza is the razor blades. They’re wrong though - it’s the horribly salty sauce recipe that irritates all of your internal lacerations.

Hung out in the Drift Office with Amy for a while, I read a bunch of Cat’s Cradle, then took a nap until Jordan showed up at five something. He had his gunea pig with him in the car, it was weird. His female friend from the beauty college was with him again, I can’t decide whether she’s more annoying than effervescent. We drove around for a bit and gave the girl a ride home then went back to the college and hung out until my class. Photography was okay–I was suffering becuase you have to stand up in the darkroom because it’s too small for chairs–but luckily I found a chair right in the doorway out of the darkroom, so I could still hear the demo. I think I might be able to develop film–I guess doing it myself will be the only test. It didn’t look too hard. Developing and fixing you have to accomplish perfectly, it’s all downhill from there. Oh, I was wandering around the college yesterday and decided to pay Molly a visit, we talked for a while and I was telling her how sick I’d been and my symptoms and she was really worried. I had no way to get to the clinic though, so she did the nicest thing ever. She called them and set up an appointment for the next day, she’s going to drive me. Anyway, after Photography Jordan showed up (to my delight, because I was reaching the eighth circle of nausea). We went to Wal-Mart because he wanted to check something out, and I realized that I needed tab dividers. After that I was in the pursuit of good soup (what I had been dreaming of all day). We tried the chinese restaurant but they were closed (they always are, god.) So then we went to Denny’s and ended up meeting a group of mutual friends. I got a Diet Coke and some GLORIOUS vegetable beef barley soup, Jordan got a coffee and some seasoned fries. He’s been kind of mouching lately–but I’ll probably be doing the same thing when I don’t have any money and he does. So after that we went back to my house and he dropped me off. He’s not mad that I’m not spending as much time with him as we used to–he was telling me earlier that he would think that I was just avoiding him but then he’d see me and think “gosh, he’s sick.” I’m glad he’s not mad. I hope I get better after I go to the doctor. Well, I got home, got into my PJs, crawled into bed, and worked on taking out my old tabs and putting in the new ones. The new ones are white, they look much more professional. I was quizzing myself on the chapter review questions in my Biology book and I felt SO STUPID because I was getting almost every single one wrong–even when I was COMPLETELY sure that I was right. It wasn’t until I got to the last question (7) that I realized the answers went on to 10. I was looking at the questions from chapter 2 and the answers from chapter 1. It didn’t make me feel much smarter, but at least I know I’m not dumb about Biology–just textbooks. I was freaking out; I kept thinking, “It’s a solvent! How can it not be? I’m so going to fail this class.” But I calmed down after I realized the mistake. Went to sleep, didn’t remember any of my dreams–woke up and my gums were really really sore, I can’t even touch them with my tounge without them hurting. Um, rode to school with my dad, so I sit here blogging in the Drift Office, my appointment at the clinic is at 10:15. I’m in the process of cleaning out my inbox. It’s quite arduous. Well, not really, just tedious.