> Marilyn Manson - Irresponsible Hate Anthem ” I am the ism, my hate’s a prism / let’s jut kill everyone and let your god sort them out”
> Marilyn Manson - Kinderfeld
> Marilyn Manson - Astonishing Panorama Of The Endtimes
> Bjork - Army Of Me
> Nine Inch Nails - Big Man With A Gun [great song]

I’m gargling with salt water every day to try to get rid of this “gum disease” or whatever the fuck it is. I don’t have class today, so I was going to go down to the HIV clinic thing today, but I really don’t feel like doing anything with Jordan after last night. I’m really mad at him. He really doesn’t care about my feelings. I feel like a real whore after last night. And I noticed that day that the novels I lent him are getting all dirty and banged up at the bottom of his trunk (extreme anger at the fact that one of them is my favorite book). I’m realizing he owns ten times more pornography than books, and he didn’t even have a bookshelf in his room. I mean, the depressing thing about Andrew was that the extent of his literary exploits was Chuck Palahniuk, but with Jordan there are no exploits. Loser. I think I’m going to swipe the books next time we hang out, they are mine, and they are really getting banged up. I can feel the end of this relationship. I guess I really rate, he didn’t even take my books into his room. Not even into the back seat. That makes me mad. I kind of feel like watching a movie, but I don’t have any of the movies I want to watch. So I’m trying to find some songs I like to burn a CD. Another thing that pissed me off was that he had a talk with me about not wanting me to hang out with Royce because he felt uncomfortable that I would have sex with Royce, but when we were over there he was all-out inviting Royce to have a threesome with us. Fuck that. I’m really getting close to my ‘fuck you’ point. I’m realizing that it takes about a month before I start to get pissed off at my (in?)significant others. Or vice versa. Hm. I’m really enjoying all these songs I copied from Kelly, all the early Manson, especially the tracks from Antichrist Superstar. But somehow my copy of The Downward Spiral got scratched–it made me very angry. That’s like the best NIN CD ever. Well, second only to The Fragile. I was very angered this morning, I was flipping through channels and saw some band on MTV with a Nine Inch Nails sticker on their guitar and they were playing the stupidest, most insipid crap rock I’d ever heard. I wanted to kill. In some form of erstaz retaliation I’ve decided to burn a CD of the most hardcore rock ever compiled. These tracks from Antichrist Superstar are fitting in nicely. Hm. To quote Daniela, my apathy level is a ten. And I don’t have any money. I spent the last of that last financial aid check on hair dye and blank CDs. My dad was going up to Brookings today and I was all ‘yay, I can go to that one store Molly was talking about’ but then I was all ‘crap, I don’t have any money.’ So I’m stuck here in my robe because I’m too lazy to wash my clothes and I don’t have anything to wear that’s clean. I’m dreading my dad getting back, he’ll put on his stupid “political” shows which anyone with a brain after two seconds realizes that the people on the screen haven’t said anything original in fifty years. And then I’ll have to retreat to my hideously dirty room, with the unwashed clothes. Hm, maybe this CD will motivate me to clean. Eh, I’m not going to burn it, it has too many songs I only kind of like on it. Hm. Maybe I should wash my clothes. Hm. Well, I’m out of things to talk about, I guess I’ll go.