Those damn Kerf people have invaded my domain. I was going to go type this in the Drift Office, but a Kerfite was in there. Damn them. Well, except for Sammie and her boyfriend. I’m in the library, Daniela and I so aced the test in American Institutions and then went driving around, she was redecorating her room. We had lots of fun, she just dropped me off at the college. Jordan just showed up, so I’m going to go hang out with him before Photography. I brought my camera so Diane could look at it, and Daniela convinced me to cash the financial aid check I have lying around. She’s right. I need a stereo for my car. And a room makeover.

Um, Samantha woke me up in the Drift office, we talked for a while about everthing from her roomates to the bad poetry submitted to the Kerf. I put on my makeup and her boyfriend showed up. We talked for a while about Ashley and that Erin character, and they just left. I slept through Religions Of The World, I really need to get started on my term paper. I wonder if we’ll have a test soon. I’ll be able to study easily, I hope. Well, can’t be late to American Institutions, we have a test. I wish I had money, I’d get a soda.

Okay, restocked my Neopets shop and started construction on another room in my Neohome. I’m feelin’ kind of nappy–oh crap that sounded bad. I’m in the mood to take a nap. Better. Much better. Class starts at nine-thirty, so I have a good solid hour. Off to the couch. I have a test in American Institutions today, but I’m not worried, that’s my easy class. I’m hearing some really weird noises from the other side of the wall, the distance ed room. Very weird.

> Marilyn Manson - This Is The New Shit
> Marilyn Manson - Use Your Fist And Not Your Mouth
> Rob Dougan - Chateau
> Orbital - Technologique Park
> Daft Punk - Voyager
> Oakenfold - Dread Rock

Bored. Really bored. I wish I wouldn’t have gotten to sleep at twelve. I really want to take a nap. Hm. This music is entirely wrong though. You’d have a massive CGI-enhanced bullet-time battle to “Chateau,” not a nap. Poop. I overconditioned my hair this morning, but I damaged it by washing it, so I guess it was all for the best in the end. I hairsprayed my bangs in place, I wonder if they’ll stay. I put them this way this weekend and they dried all insanely. They’re getting too long, they get in my eyes when they’re wet, so hopefully the hairspray will keep them in place. I can’t wait for Jordan to cut the back, it’s getting way too unruly back there. No e-mail as usual, although I did get one from Danielle. I e-mailed her asking if she’d got my bike back and she said something like that she had gotten it back but had forgotten to e-mail me because she’s been busy. Hm. Got a junk e-mail from some person that wants me to assist in the transfer of $33 million. Really. I wonder what idiots actually reply to this crap. There’s this ad for AmericanSingles.com, the girl in the ad looks twelve. Pervos. Hm, I should go to Neopets, I haven’t been there since I was in Sacramento. I got so addicted to it while I was there. I must have lots of money, all the stuff in my store is probably sold by now, it’s been like a month. Sweet, I have 22,000 Neopoints. Off to restock my shop.

> Third Eye Blind - Semi-Charmed Life
> Basement Jaxx- Where’s Your Head At?
> Beethoven - ‘Spring’ Violin Sonata
> Placebo - Taste In Men
> Shakira - Ojos Asi
> Ok Go - Don’t Ask Me

Really bored–well kinda. Washed my clothes, then I drove into town to Safeway to get groceries with Dad. Um, then I think my mom called. I ate some food (my gums are gradually not hurting any more). I don’t remember what I did after that. I think I ate dinner and washed the dishes, and then I asked my dad if Jordan could come over, he made me vacuum and fold up the tent in the garage. He came over and I wasn’t mad at him any more. He was apologizing right and left, he seemed to sincerely want to make me not mad and said that he was “dedicated to convincing [me] that all [he] wants isn’t sex.” Whatever. I’ll believe it when I see it. Jordan was going to cut my hair, but then realized he’d need his shears to make a good cut (he was going to use my clippers). Then he realized he had an essay due, so he had to go home. This was around seven. I waited until Dad went to sleep, watched Daria while making chocolate chip cookies. I ended up baking them while watching something else–they came out really bad. I think I might throw them out. I’m talking to Kelly, I really miss baking with her–baking those cookies really wasn’t the same. Poo. But I am infinitely amused that Taggart’s new “flame,” I’d say “amor,” but that just wouldn’t be the right root, is acting like his mother, driving him around and such. As Freud does a happy dance in his coffin. Damn this latin music, I have this urge to tango. And I don’t even know how to tango. Vile latin music. I should have included this song on Molly’s CDs. Hm. Kelly says that Andrew hasn’t mentioned anything about me and gets kind of uncomfortable when I’m mentioned. How interesting. Maybe I’ll e-mail him. Rattle his cage a bit. I wonder if he ever loved me. I wonder if it was all bullshit. A Nine Inch Nails lyric comes to mind: “without you everything falls apart / without you it’s not as much fun to pick up the pieces.” I sometimes long for the adventure that is unrequited love. The wanting, the hoping, the longing for what will never happen. It’s devoting yourself to the passionate abandonment of reality. Kind of like my own haphazard Christianity where Taggart is God and I am the Jesus sacrificing myself over and over for his grace. He makes a good god, and I make a good martyr to him. Slash my wrists for him, set myself on fire for him, be crucified for him–it’s all so poetic. He says he’s “crazy about her.” Yep. Crazy. Fucking certifiable. Damn right I’m jealous, I’m going to admit it. I want to be used again. It was just so goddamn entertaining. Kind of like eemotional masturbation. I’m going to bring in my camera for Diane (my photography teacher) to look at. The lens is dirty, maybe I can mouch some canned air out of her. All I need is one spray, and I’m flat broke. Oh well. Holy fuck! It’s twelve-o-fucking clock!!!! I’m going to sleep. NOW.