Hm, Tara dropped all her classes except one (College Skills or something like that). That’s kind of sad. Um, hung out with Jordan last night, my dad wasn’t home so we had uber-fun. Watched Dahmer–it was so sad. I just can’t help falling in love with serial killers. They’re so sensitive and loving in their own way. Hm. I wonder if that’s weird. I’m supposed to be doing stuff for the newspaper, but they’re not going to be back until like seven so I can waste time and eat baby carrots to my heart’s content. I’m really thirsty, but there’s no water around here. I should get one of those big gallon things of water for the office. Oh, I was going to go to The Purple Cat today and get some clothes, but I don’t think I have enough money for anything, and I’m lazy. I should make an appointment at the clinic. I have no excuses now, I have the money, I can drive. I just don’t want to go alone. Fuck. I need to get started on this crap. Eh, I have hours to do it. Tawna, me, and this other girl went for ice cream yesterday, it was fun. I should get started. I worked on my page all yesterday, it’s pretty much done, but all the other pages have all these problems.

Crap. Haven’t blogged in an entire week. I think that I’m not doing it because I actually have hobbies now, like photography…and I can drive now! It’s great. I stopped by the beach yesterday and got some beautiful shots of the sun and the waves and Point St. George. Hm. I’m blogging at about the same intervals as Tara. I wonder if she’ll be in PoliSci today. I haven’t seen her in a while–we have class in ten minutes, she should be here somewhere. Hmm. I just saw the Miller’s Market hottie. That’s what I’m going to call him from now on. Eww…Natasha is jiggling her way over here. Daniela is studying for a math test with Josh in the library here. She’s ditching Religions and PoliSci because she might be passing math. I would do the same thing. I have kind of a cute outfit today. It’s very–petulant nazi schoolboy post-Indstrial glam Hot Topic. Oops, delete the glam–I didn’t have time to do my make-up this morning. Josh is very attractive. I can see him making his mocking voice. It’s a funny mocking voice. Daniela’s mocking voice is her impression of old authority figures. Mine is sometimes squeaky and high-pitched but it’s mostly an impression of my dad, because that’s who I mock most. Oh, I took a picture of me and my mom’s old house yesterday. It was a horrible picture in the way of composition, but it showed the depths our cool house sunk. I’ll scan it and send it to my mom once I develop the film. Must go to class and see if Tara is here.

Just finished Valley of the Dolls–it was SO depressing. I…just… Ick. Ick is all I can say. So the philosophical lesson is that in order to not love a Taggart I’d have to be spun out on pills to inure myself to his flings. Oh my fucking god. Why does life have to be so cruel? God damn. But, on a high note, that Carrie girl was in here, she’s cool. She asked me if I was into knitting. I’m not, but I might join the group to get closer to her. She’s one of the coolest people I’ve known. Oh, maybe I could knit some armwarmers. That would be cool. Maybe I’ll go. If I pass my test tomorrow I’ll be able to go wherever I want. I go driving at four–in about a half hour. I’ll walk over at 3:45 and listen to music/read in the car for a while. The high school is on spring break, it’s so dead here. Ah, I might start Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities! That might break my pattern of depressing books. I checked it out last week, I haven’t started on it yet. Well–I read the first two chapters last year (and I remember them, which is scary). I wanted to reread Brave New World today, but I didn’t have time. I have Nirvana stuck in my head. Maybe I’ll head on over to the Drift office and get my CD player and walk around the nature trail. That seems like a good plan. I devoted myself to finishing Freud’s The Future of an Illusion today, but I don’t really feel like it. I can do it when I get home. After all, Jordan isn’t coming over–well maybe he is. We should study. But in the interim even if he does come over I can probably finish it. I only have like thirty or forty pages left.

I have this gigantic bloody hangnail–it looks so grotesque. And my ear has been ringing all day for no reason. My hair has been falling out for months–I’m falling apart at the seams. Those three hours of reading Valley of the Dolls didn’t help either. But I wandered around and finally found myself at Molly’s office, she lent me two books, the literature book that we’ll be using in English 1B, and a book on popular culture with a chapter of essays on anti-intellectualism (how the government and media glorify stupidity). So life is cool. I want some orange juice, but I have no money. Perhaps I’ll go and take another drink out of the faucet.

> Nirvana - Something In The Way

I’m almost through with Valley of the Dolls and I am really really really really really depressed. I just want to have a good cry, but I’m at school. There’s no avoiding it. Lyon Burke is Taggart. I want to cry. Why does every good book have to be so profoundly depressing? GOD DAMN. Fuck everyone. All my friends are gone, I don’t have class for another hour and a half. I’m going to die. Stuck here for another hour and a half after class. There’s nothing to do except read this infernal book. I hate everything.