I have to say that Ivor is so inexorably entertaining. Tawna would love Ivor. I’ve got to bring my Ivor CD to school next week. He’s the greatest comedian ever. We’ll listen to it as we’re working on our term papers Tuesday. Gotta love Jared for loving Ivor. I should e-mail Kelly, but my wrists are starting to hurt. I’m going to take a computer break.
> Marilyn Manson - The Dope Show
> Glenn Miller Orchestra - Pennsylvania 6-5000
> Glenn Miller Orchestra - In The Mood
> Coldplay - In My Place
> Elastica - Human [my theme song]
> Madonna - La Isla Bonita
> Basement Jaxx - Where’s Your Head At?
> Orgy - Eyes-Radio-Lies [Jay Gordon is my god]
Tawna will understand the hidden meaning of this post. Today was so freaking weird, I got out of bed around twelve and got to the school around one. I “worked” on the newspaper for a while, mostly just sitting out in the grass talking to Tawna and Naiya. I was really hungry so I went to Shop Smart and got a loaf of French bread and a soda (a grand total of $2.65). I love cheap lunches. Cool, Tara just signed on. Sammie showed up and I showed everybody the picture of Joe in a weird pose throwing a Frisbee, and the pictures of the pie in the face thing with Lapp and Throgmorton. It entertained them. Jill and I worked on layout for a long while, I typed up the comments on the surveys for the coffee shop story. We entertained each other. We get along well. Just when I thought the day was going to be uber-gravy, Jordan showed up. My half-asleep morning rushed back to me, him calling and complimenting me right and left about everything from my driving to my room. “I have something for you in my car,” he’d added, and I had said “Sure, just stop by the college.” I naively thought that he had found my book. Instead, he presented me with this flower and a card that said “Thank you for being so thoughtful.” I couldn’t tell whether he was trying to be patronizing or endearing. He did write “Love, Jordan.” My day was going really well and I didn’t want it to be screwed up by him, so I kind of ignored him for a bit. He’s all “The flowers and card are for you,” which was heart-wrenching, making me think more and more that he was trying to guilt me back into being friends with him. He asked me if I wanted to go hiking on Sunday, and I replied that I wasn’t sure how my foot would feel and that I had a lot to this weekend (the absolute truth, it’s finals week) and he was all “Okay, maybe I’ll call you Sunday.” And then my day was ruined. I’d come to the decision a few days ago to stop hanging out with him, but today I realize that it’s not going to happen by just not hanging out. He’ll just keep trying to apologize, and I’m just going to have to sit down with him and go “We can’t be friends. You aren’t fun.” I feel really sad to say it, but hanging out with him just isn’t fun any more. It’s nothing personal, I don’t hate him, he just doesn’t entertain or interest me any more. I had more fun hanging out with Jill today than I’ve had with Jordan the whole month. I want my book back, I want my rollerblades back, and I don’t really want to hang out with him any more. Oh well. This just makes me believe more in my theory that I just use friends for about six months, then get sick of them. I really hope that’s not the truth. I can remember Jordan annoying me throughout our relationship, and I can remember him appeasing me by pretending to read the book I lent him. Then I would get annoyed, then he would appease me. I can also remember missing him, but I haven’t felt that way in a long time.
Oh, I turned in my photography portfolio yesterday. I hope I got a good grade on it. I was talking to Jill today and she was saying that she’d better get an A because she put in so much work, and I was in agreement concerning my grade in photography–I put a hell of a lot of work in, and I think I deserve an A. Lol, Jill was telling this story about Mr Owen drawing a map of Vietnam that looked like a penis in History. The story was so funny. Molly was right, it’s just impossible to dislike Jill. Her page came out looking really good, I thought. However, there’s a big hole in it where some story that didn’t come in goes. I really need to start on my research paper and my Biology final. Research paper first, though, because I have no chance of passing Biology.
Oh, I have to water my split-leaf begonia. I’ve been nursing it back to health since I dragged it out of the greenhouse (where I had abandoned it after moving back from my mom’s house. It has a bunch of new leaves, about three times the amount that used to be on it. I called my mom from the Drift office today before I left and she wasn’t home. I called again after I got home, after getting two mean messages from her on my answering machine. She’ll probably say she called back but I was on the internet, which is really lame because she should know how to get in touch with me when I’m online. I really want to call Kelly/Kathy, topping the short list of people who care about me, but my phone card only has ten minutes left on it. The number of words on my Blogger word count is steadily reaching 200,000. I hope to break it next week. Maybe I’ll break it this weekend. I can’t tell the word count of things as I type them, only that it’s more than I think. We would do word counts in Mr. Letko’s English 1A and I would always underestimate them. I don’t know what it’s up to now, last week it was 175,000 I think.
I love the Glenn Miller Orchestra. It’s cool to know that I like music that my Grandma listens to. I would so be a chic, sleek zoot-suit wearing ladies’ man if I was born in the swing days. It would so fit me. I’d be an Edward. Crap. It’s 8:00. I should e-mail Amanda. We didn’t get to talk today, she was working on the Kerf. It’s kind of funny that because of her medication she can’t be in the sun, she’s the girl in the shadows. It’s cute. I think she’d be really unique without her parents’ influence. Oh, a weird thing happened during the photography midterm. I was working on the Drift, but when I got back Nicole’s portfolio was by mine with a cute note asking me to make sure Diane got her portfolio. I did, and when I got home there was a message on my machine from her asking if I could come get her portfolio and bring it to class because she didn’t have a ride, which I would have done. Oh, Prankstrofluv left a few note on my blog, he’s an avid reader now. I like having avid readers. I got an e-mail from Molly about my new template, so I know that even when she says she isn’t reading it she really does–which makes me go “Eek, I’m clever and popular!” At least in my own world. It feels nice to have readers. It was sad that Jordan only read my blog when we were having troubles. He asked me today if I changed my URL. I was all “No, why would I do that.”
MSN keeps signing me off, but I keep signing back on because I don’t want anyone to call me (well, other than my mom, but we don’t have caller ID). I forgot to get a wrist brace for my left hand. It didn’t and doesn’t hurt today, so I guess that’s why I forgot. I have this fear that Jordan is going to call me tomorrow and go “SO! YOU THINK I’M STUPID! WELL FUCK YOU! YOU’RE NEVER GETTING YOUR BOOK BACK OR YOUR ROLLERBLADES! YOU ARE THE MOST EGOCENTRIC PERSON ON THE PLANET! IT’S JUST YOU, YOU, YOU. YOU NEVER CARE ABOUT ANYONE ELSE, YOU HAVE NO EMPATHY, EVERYONE WHO DOESN’T KNOW AS MANY WORDS AS YOU DO IS JUST A PUPPET FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT. HOW DARE YOU. HOW DARE YOU PLAY WITH MY EMOTIONS, PLAY WITH MY HEART. YOU ARE THE MOST CRUEL PERSON I’VE EVER MET. I’M NEVER TALKING TO YOU AGAIN. GOODBYE.” And in a way I’d deserve it. I never mean to hurt people, but when they don’t give me pleasure any more, I don’t think it’s my responsibility to be their friend. Friends, in my view, are to give each other the pleasure of each others’ company, and I get no pleasure from Jordan’s company any more. We don’t have the same interests, and he isn’t an intellectual. It wouldn’t even bother me if he was the least bit posh, but he just is mired in the muck of his dowdy nature.
See, I love knowing that people read this because I’m inspired to create literature. I know she just went “I love the word posh!” Well, even if she doesn’t, it pleases me to think that there are people hanging on my every word. I just lied to my dad that I’m working on my research paper. It would be great if I could just turn this in. It probably isn’t ten pages though. Sad. I should probably save my typing endurance for tonight, so I can bang out at least the first half of this monstrosity. I wish Molly would have shown up today, I needed some direction as to the angle of the coffee cart story. I got some great quotes on both sides from the surveys though, I don’t even need to interview Riese, the coffee lady. Well, I should sign off the net or one of my e-friends will sign on and I’ll end up just having cybersex and not get anything done on my paper.
