I was circling things in this catalog then realized it was just too much damn crap to remember all at once. So here it is. Everything I need to buy with my paycheck:

RAM. Type: need to check motherboard manual. Capacity: 512MB. Cost: Around $100

HARD DRIVE. Type: Serial ATA. Capacity: 120GB, 150MB/sec, 8MB buffer. Cost: $109.99.

LED FANS: Type: 80mm. Cost: around $20.

CD-RW DRIVE: Type: above 30x write speed. Cost: around $50.

Optional—-

DVD-Rs (can get at Wal-Mart, price around $20?)

Crap. I don’t think I have enough money for all of this. I know I have enough for the hard drive and RAM, but the extra fans and CD-RW drive are iffy. I don’t know. We’ll see. Gosh, I just realized my computer has no modem and no video card. Maybe it will take longer than I thought to get it up and running. Well, I’m going to have to strip my old computer to get this one running, at least for now. I was thinking of selling the old comp to Tawna at a grand discount. Either $50 or $100, of course with lifetime service and repair. I was going to give it to her, but I’ve been thinking about it..and it is a viable, working PC…it’s worth some bucks. I want to get a Bluetooth wireless keyboard and mouse, but I want a light-up one too, and you can’t have both, wireless-ness and light-up-ness. I guess I choose light-up-ness because I hope to be mostly be using voice recognition anyway. And light-up is just so damn cool. I’m watching this weird movie on IFC called Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down! about this guy who is so in love with this chick that he ties her to her bed and takes care of her. It’s kind of like Boxing Helena, but without the creepy impotent British loser character. It’s in Spanish and has Antonio Bandeteras (to my delight).

Okay, I’m looking at my mobo manual.

“This motherboard provides four 184pin DDR DIMM slots, which supports PC2100/2700/3200 DDR SDRAM modules up to 4GB.” This is so cool. I’m putting the mobo manual in my car now. I can’t wait to buy everything tomorrow.

I LOVE the t-shirt Hell newsletters, they are SO FUCKING FUNNY. Enjoy:

OLYMPICS WIN GOLD MEDAL FOR SUCKING

The Olympic Games start in August and I wonder if it’s possible that I could care less about anything? I know what you’re thinking. What about the Tour de France? Clearly, that is the lamer than the Olympics.

Yes, the Tour de France does suck. It’s long, boring, and has the word France in it. But on a positive note, in spite of the fact that a cancer ridden American is supposed to win, there is virtually no coverage of the event in the U.S. It is easy to pretend it doesn’t exist.

But the Olympics, they just won’t shut up about it. It is full of athletes you’ve never heard of, playing games that you don’t care about, for really lame prizes. What’s the point? Even on Fear Factor you get $100,000 and all you have to do is eat pig scrotum- not dedicate 18 years, 12 hours a day/7 days a week to jumping over a stick.

At the Olympics, maybe, you get ten seconds of fame. You want ten seconds of fame so bad, marry Britney Spears. Then if you’re incredibly lucky, you get a shiny, gold necklace. Big deal. If you want to wear a big, gold medallion- go work for Ja Rule. Not only do you get a necklace, but you get
a 9 millimeter, a crack pipe, and unlimited blowjobs from skanky, preteen groupies.

It is un-American to be the best at something and not get paid. If you’re such a great runner; go play football. If you’re so great at throwing a javelin; can’t you learn to throw a slider? And if you’re such a great, male gymnast; why not make gay porn?

How can we compete with other countries where the citizens clearly have nothing better to do than train for the Olympics. Africans are chasing kangaroos all day just to get to work. The women on the Taiwanese ping pong team can serve a ping pong ball at close to 97 miles per hour, and that’s just using their assholes.

We have Playstation in America, not to mention Playstation II. Do we really have time to spend throwing a discus, or learning the rules to arcane games like soccer?

Why are there so many great swimmers in Europe? Because they hope that oneday they can swim to America, collect welfare, and eat Funyuns and Poptarts.

It makes sense that other countries actually like the Olympics because for one fleeting instance they can compete with America. When Americans want to compete on the International level we invade your country, arrest your leader, burn down your homes, and murder your people. That’s the American way.

Go for the gold? Go fuck yourself.

> Blink 182 - Adam’s Song

Draobaknow! Is that Japanese? Nope, it’s Wonka Board spelled backwards! It arrived today, to my unending delight. It took like a few hours to install the CPU, heatsink, and put the motherboard and all its’ components in. It has a proprietary PCI card with a bunch of crap on it, not to mention a thing that fits in a 5 1/2″ drive bay that has memory card readers, USB, another firewire port, et al. Since I had to walk to work from Wal-Mart (after locking my keys in the car), my feet were killing me and I walked around work in my socks. And it made my hair dry crazily, god. I can’t wait to get paid tomorrow, I’ll buy my hard drive and RAM.

I’m going to get a 200MB or 250MB drive and a 512MB stick of RAM. It still needs a keyboard and mouse and all that stuff, but I already have extras of those. It’ll be enough to get it all up and running. The bells and whistles come later. I swear, my wonkaboard has a MILLION ports and slots, I don’t even know what goes in half of them. It took so long to get it all installed, god. But it’s all ready and in the spare room. I didn’t connect the power yet, it says to do that last. There’s going to be a bit of a problem because I don’t have a CD-RW drive to boot from, but I may get that along with everything else. I’m just not sure if I’ll have enough money for it all. Today was Jennifer’s last day. It was really sad. I didn’t say goodbye. I HOPE TO THE GODS THAT I DID NOT FRY MY CPU AND THAT I INSTALLED THE HEATSINK CORRECTLY. I took off the heatsink after I got it on and the thermal compound was all barely there in the middle and all squished to the edges. I’m going to ask Joe about it. I have yet to figure out the jumper settings for the CPU (the manual was about as informative on that subject as a large rubber mallet), but I’ll figure it out when I have a system to boot. Figuring it out now is just wasted time. When I have the passion of being able to start up my brand-new system I’ll figure it out.

My dad worked out this grounding thing to plug into the ground outlet in the wall so I was absolutely sure I was grounded. I sincerely doubt I fried the chip. I didn’t check to see if the mobo had onboard video, I hope it doesn’t. It has an AGP slot, most mobos with an AGP slot don’t have onboard video. I’m too lazy to get up and check. I have a PCI video card that will work fine until I get an AGP one. Okay, I must e-mail Kelly and prepare for tomorrow (payday!!!!)

It’s Jennifer’s last day, it’s been really quiet. I didn’t feel like doing anything so I went over and fucked around with the map. I’m almost done with it. God, I’m the dumbest person ever. I locked my keys in my car this morning at Wal-Mart and had to walk to work from there. Now I have to wait until my dad gets home around four and then call and ask him to come into town, pick me up, and go to my car. He (of course) will get all angry and pissy about it, maybe even yell at me. I am so not looking forward to this festival of shit. My feet are killing me from walking that far. I took them off, I’ve been in my socks all day at work. My lunch, of course, is in my car, so I’m going to be without food for the next forever. I need to get started on letters. Well actually, the only thing I really need to do today is the community calendar. Oh, I should check my e-mail. Yay! One from Kelly! OMG she ended the e-mail with “I have to go return some video tapes.” I just about had an orgasm. Glorious. I must e-mail her back when I’m not at work. I am such a slacker today, I’m not doing anything, but how can I? I mean, I’m freaking stuck here until I decide to walk to the college barefoot. OMG I might have Lisa’s number, then I can call her and get my dad’s cell phone number. Yay! I’m going to try to do that.