God, this weekend was such a blur. But a good blur nonetheless. On Friday, Daniela called me and we went driving around looking for something to do. We went to Brookings, and on the way I had a bit of an epiphany. Daniela was talking to me and trying her hardest to make the story she was telling interesting and funny. I was watching her talk, and thinking “Does she think she’s being clever?” And then I realized that it’s my worst nightmare for someone to think that while I’m talking, so I immediately banished the thought from my head. We drove to Brookings and went to Fred Meyer and looked at stuff (they had this really nice glass top computer desk for only like $70). And they had black furry pillows! Crazy. Well, we then went back into town and saw the Relay for Life thing, so we went and checked that out. I just found it INSANELY amusing, and I don’t know why. Just the lunacy of it all, turning cancer into a religion. The slogans “find a cure” really got me thinking. It’s not cancer they want to beat, it’s death. We’re all going to die someday, and nobody wants to face that. Ever. There will always be a leading cause of death. In 400 years they’ll be holding Relay for Left. “Cure left-handedness forever! We will find a cure! Left handedness kills more people a year than anything!” Sad. They hold things like that simply to make people think that they’ll be remembered after they die. Which they won’t be. Daniela gave me a ride home and I think I watched ATHF.
Saturday was cool. My dad went to this stupid horse thing so I got to watch Trainspotting on it’s early showtime on IFC. It was SUCH A GREAT MOVIE. I loved it. Since it got over around eight, I’m all “woohoo I’m going to go into town and get two layer pans so I can make a devil’s food cake!” (Oh, I forgot to mention this, my mom deposited $50 in my account.) So I went into town, and went to the video rental place to see if there was a good movie to rent. Nothing. Depressed, I journeyed on to Wal-Mart for my pans. They only had one. Piss me off. So I just went home. I was all sad, but Tawna had called for me while I was gone and she told me her plan to go to Eureka and do a bunch of fun stuff after she gets her grant. It’s going to be fun. And we decided to have a movie night the next day. I think I watched some TV and then went to sleep.
Sunday was really fun, we did our movie night thing. I went into town around one, picked up Tawna, and we went to Tara’s house to pick her and her boy toy Kyle up. Luckily, they were there and we dragged them around to get stuff for the movie extravaganza. We stopped at Dollar Tree and I got the candy cigarettes Tawna had been telling me about and I got some sunglasses because it was SO sunny that day I couldn’t see anything (I was wearing my contacts). Then we went to Safeway and Tawna got French bread and I got a Foccacia thingy. It was yummy. Then we went to Wal-Mart for orange soda, and then we went to my house and ate bread and soda. Then we watched The Doom Generation. I think everyone was entertained by it. It’s the best movie ever. Oh! I finally downloaded some DVD copying software, so I’m going to get some DVD-Rs tomorrow and burn Amanda The Matrix and Tawna The Doom Generation. And I can burn House on Haunted Hill (the original) for myself. God I’m tired. And I have to wake up in like seven hours. No, eight hours. Oh, I saw Molly at Safeway, that was crazy. I was all “We have bread!” It made me laugh.
Gosh, Friday is payday. The fateful day of turning-on-of-the-new-computer draws closer. I’m really not going to be able to use it for anything productive until I buy my hard drive and buy a legal copy of Windows XP, and a legal copy of Norton Antivirus. XP is SO EXPENSIVE. Oh well. I seriously doubt I’ll be able to afford a copy of XP. Oh well. We’ll see. I’ll just be amazed if the damn thing turns on and the processor doesn’t melt after ten minutes. Oh, that reminds me. I need razor blades and thermal compound. Must hit the computer store tomorrow. I DO NOT WANT TO GO TO WORK TOMORROW. I hate that place. I hate the tedium. I saw a copy of the paper and this one neighbors page item that was supposed to have a pic went in without one, and it’s the one who was pissed at me the other day. There will be hell to pay. But it really isn’t my fault, I don’t put the shit on the page, it’s Matt’s job. Mouhahahahahahaha. However, I don’t think I specified that there was a picture when I typed it up. I could be really mean and go back into the file and write “WITH PICTURE,” but I like Matt.
The moment of truth grows nearer and nearer. I REALLY hope that my computer works. It will suck enourmous amounts of ass if it doesn’t. I’ll cry. Really I will. Well, we’ll see. I hate that place SOOO much. Okay, must not obsess about work.
Oh yeah, after the movie Me, Tawna, Kyle, and Tara went down to the beach (it was so beautiful). We played around wading in the sand and walking around. Tara and Tawna buried Kyle, then they all buried me. It was cool. Then we all went back into town and I dropped everybody off. To my dismay on the way back my “check engine” light turned on, and I have no fucking clue what it could be. I wasn’t even using my air conditioning (which I never do any more). I had just gotten my oil changed, what could it be? I am not in the financial situation to find out, however, so I’m stuck with the light. Evil check engine light. Well, I thought I had a lot to blog about, but I guess it all just slipped out of my head. I can remember moments where I was all “I must blog this!” but except for the Daniela anecdote I can’t really think of anything. Well, after I dropped everyone off I stopped at Safeway to use the bathroom, then I headed home. I stopped at Royce’s on a whim, and he was home. I swear, he is always under the influence when I stop by. Which I could actually use to my advantage, had I the courage to flirt with him. We like the same music and stuff. But it just wouldn’t work. He doesn’t have a phone. I know that sounds really petty, but come on. Imagine a relationship without a phone. It doesn’t work. I would have no way of getting in touch with him.
Maybe I’m just rationalizing. I love him, but I love him too much to try to like, physically…I don’t know what I’m saying. It’s just, the image of us having sex or making out or something just completely ruins the image of him in my mind. He’s beautiful the way he is. It’s one of those Of Human Bondage things. When he liked me I liked Peng and now I like him but can’t tell him. It just makes me want to have a good cry. He’s so beautiful. He’s moving too, the tattoo place is closing because the owner of the building is selling it. I really do want to have a good cry. A good cry for unrequited love. I think I’m going to watch Requiem for a Dream when I get home tomorrow and have a good cry after I dye my hair (I’m sick of my roots, I’ll just do it myself and see how crappily it will come out). Oh, but Molly has Requiem. Damn. I wonder how she liked it. I’ll watch Edward Scissorhands and cry. But it’s not the same experience. Requiem is just so uber-depressing. I’m getting more and more depressed as I write this. Not good. I should get to sleep and hasten the arrival of the hell that rushes towards me with every passing hour: work.
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