rock your body
> Justin Timberlake - Rock Your Body
> Lords of Acid - Heaven Is An Orgasm
> Placebo - English Summer Rain
> Kylie Minogue - In Your Eyes
Me, Tawna, Sammie and Steve went to the river today, it was so fun! We went up to Second Bridge. I brought my little grill thing and some charcoal, and we made hot dogs. I’m talking to Taggart online, he’s saying how he’s crushing on this chick named Becky. Okay, Becky is the coolest person ever! Seriously. She would never waste her time on a LOSER like Taggart. I seriously would give my left testicle to hang out with Becky for a week or so.
OutOfNiflheim: half of me wants to kill deven [sic] for dumping her but the other half makes me want to kiss him for making her single
dariusofthedark: why did devon dump her?
OutOfNiflheim: he came back from europe “a changed person”
OutOfNiflheim: he didn’t like that his life was revolving around just one person
dariusofthedark: he went to europe? I’m so behind the times
Half of me wants to tell Taggart that he’s pathetic and libertine, half of me wants to just beat him senseless with a stinky old fish.
Hold your beath and count to ten, then fall apart then start again.
start again.
start again.
start again.
start again.
start again.
That Placebo song is so repetitive, it just gets underneath my skin. OMG I’ve been SO obsessed with that Justin Timberlake song “Rock Your Body.” I had an epiphany a while ago regarding music. All music is pop music. All music is popular to whoever listens to it. I mean, I still like Nine Inch Nails and Manson (Manson much less than NIN) but being a music eletist is just lame. Well, I can’t lie, I am still a music eletist. My music philosophy is this:
If I can dance to it or it expresses an emotion in an original way, I will listen to it.
Most of my music falls into the first category. At least half. OMG when we were at the river there was this HELLA CUTE DUDE there. I so wanted to bone him. And I had just been listening to that sexually charged “Rock Your Body” song all day. Oh he was just so damn cute! So damn hot. Woot. I’m listening to this Manson song that I haven’t listened to in a while, “Coma Black.”
“My mouth was a crib
And it was growing lies
I didn’t know what love was on that day
Heart’s a tiny bloodclot
I picked at it, it never heals it never goes away
(Chorus) This was never my world
You took the angel away
I’d kill myself to make everybody pay
I would have told her that she was the only thing that I could love
In this dying world
But the simple word
Of love itself
Already died and went away”
Sad. That was the old me. The new me is over love. It’s never going to happen. It’s just an emotional rollercoaster that I have to take yearly. I wonder who this year’s rollercoaster will be. It will be nice to cry again. I almost forget how it feels. The inexorability of existence saddens me. I need to unplug. But it’s better to immerse oneself in fantasy than in reality. Even if one’s fantasy simply is their own journal. Molly once said to me, when I was commenting that I havnen’t felt inspired to write anything in a long time, that for a true writer, one imagines fictions and alternative worlds all the time, the actual writing of them is simply a logical consequence. I have to say that I wholeheartedly loathe Taggart. But I guess it’s only a three letter difference between loathe and love. I’m actually putting effort into this conversation with Taggart, I depress myself. Lol, Kelly finds it cool that we had sex on her bed. I find it cool too. I wish people would come and have sex in my bed. that would be the shiznit. Hot people, though. And they would have to videotape it for posterity.
I think I’m a little too concerned with preserving the world for posterity. I guess it’s fear of my own mortality. I think that it takes an educated mind to contemplate one’s own demise. Anus Face (jordan) was such a fatalist, he got tested all the time for HIV. I don’t have the courage to go through one of those tests.
dariusofthedark: I haven’t talked to Kelly in forever, mostly because I’m ashamed that I don’t make enough money at work to finance a trip down there
That was a pearl. Why did I waste some of my semantic gems on him. I still love him. The person you love and the person who loves you are never ever the same person. Lol, I don’t know whether I blogged this before, but one time after I got home from Samantha and Steve’s house there was a message from Daniela on the phone, “Hey, it’s Daniela, I was just wondering if you were doing anything, call me back.” I just found it supremely amusing since I had been doing things that night without her. As Molly has pointed out, I have a new group of freinds now. I can wholeheartedly say I’m sick of Aphex Twin. It just brings back memories of Kevin.
Oh, today I told Sammie and Steve this rediculous thing that Kevin told me one time (Kevin is obese): “I have a six-pack, you know, under this fat. My doctor says I have a six-pack.” EVERYONE HAS ABDOMINAL MUSCLES. The prosecution introduces the preceding as exhibit 3634C of the titanic stupidity of Kevin.
We had so much fun at the river! It wasn’t too cold, and the overcast-ness burned off after a few hours. We had fun swimming across the river and making up stories about this bald guy and this chick that he was with. It was glorious, mostly because of the people who weren’t there, which we commented on at great length. God that river dude was so cute! I so almost had to change my shorts. Me, Sammie, and Steve went in to swim, Tawna just knitted. She can’t swim because she’s allergic to chlorine and never learned at the pool. I got the grill to work and chilled the soda in a stream (I was such a he-man), and I barbecued hot dogs. That was the most fun I’ve had since…like, the night we all went to Denny’s. Sammie, Steve, and Tawna are so cool. I’m trying to deicde whether to solicit sex from Charley or not. I don’t feel like any semantic Olympics tonight. I’m too tired. I wonder if Amanda will be at the office tomorrow. I hope she’s more mellow, she stresses me out when she’s all stressed out. The laid-back mentality of California has pervaded my existence. It’s going to suck if I move to New Jersey or wherever my mom wants me to go to college. But I guess I’m not going to be happy until I live in a real city, New York City. There are so many possibilities, it’s endless. I love that city. Hm, I should check my Hotmail.
I believe Amanda films classes on Monday, I’m switching the mouses back next time I see Amanda. I think she will be very pliable to the idea of having Dan open the control room when I tell her that all the keys will be taken away if we don’t correct Joe’s stupidity. I think Sammie is ready to tell him off, he sent her this obscene private message on Gaia. Something like “We should go on a secret date and go do naughty things, but that’s up to you.” EWW. I got the uncircumcised vibe from him, and he really is. He told Sammie. INSANE. I’m just gushing over how fun today was and how cool everybody is. I’m sure when new drama arises I’ll be more ambivalent. Tawna left her DVDs in my car today, and I specifically put them in there so I would remember to give them to her. Oh well. Man, I’m tired. I can’t wait to test out my car cup tomorrow! Oh crap, I need some Earl Grey that isn’t decaffenated. Must go to Safeway today. I mean tomorrow. Cock fuck, I didn’t check out any more rates. I need to do that a while before my policy runs out so I can get the paperwork and everything.
Oh, I realized today that I can hook my DVD player up to the record player speakers, if I get bored I’ll get a long RCA cable and do it. Gosh, not much else to say. I’ve been reading that book, On Being Blue. It’s cool. I’m going to read a bit more of it before I go to sleep tonight. I should proofread this post and go to bed. Done proofreading it, maybe I will solicit sex from Charley. I mean, what else do I have to do? Discover the meaning of existence? Lol, random Doom Gen quote:
Jordan: “Amy, do you ever wonder what the meaning of our existence is?
Amy: “Jesus, Jordan…can’t we talk about this later? I’m just about to come.”
Tried to check my Hotmail, it isn’t working. Fuck Hotmail. I should just switch to my Yahoo account instead of my POP one. Too much thought for 12:54 in the morning. Must go to sleep.
