> Eve 6 - Nightmare
> Nine Inch Nails - Please

The fair sucked. That’s all I can say. I’ll comment in-depth later. It violently licked ass. That’s all I’m saying. Well, when I got home I found this little swallow that had fallen out of his nest and he was all fuzzy and soft and cute and lovey. It’s so cute, I want it to survive. He’s in my room now in a little box. He doesn’t want any water or food yet, he’s been pooping…so at least he’s not malnourished. When he starts peeping I’ll feed him some lamb. Meat and worms are kind of the same thing…I guess? I was going to go see what swallows eat, but I was just too damn lazy. My carpal tunnel crap has been coming back with a vengeance. Oh well. Charley, Kieth, and Jeff have been bothering me online. I need to sign off and go to bed. It’s almost 12. 12 post meridien. I’m so typing that out from now on. I’m going to bed. I’m profoundly bored.

> Pansy Division - Fuck Buddy
> Chemical Brothers - Let Forever Be

I’m realizing that I really need to get back into recreational writing. I wonder what my fantasy character would be. I’m thinking of like a cross between Indiana Jones and Acid Burn (from Hackers). It would be kind of like the Communist formula for a book, one character’s struggle against the world. I’m reading this one guy’s weblog and it’s so dope.

http://weblogs.hcrhs.k12.nj.us/dh135/

Taggart is banal. I could program his “personality” onto a computer.

dariusofthedark: what do you write?
OutOfNiflheim: fiction
OutOfNiflheim: idk
OutOfNiflheim: i’ve done a couple screen plays and i’ve done over 50 monolauges

What, exactly, is a monolauge? I know what a monolog is… Sad. He thinks it’s hard to have a unique writing style. Maybe if you can’t write it’s hard. My pearls of wisdom are being wasted on this imbecile. I wonder what pants I’ll wear tomorrow. I need to make myself some cool pants.

OutOfNiflheim: i just hate it when i write and i see kurt, or hurbert, or bradbury, or chuck in my writing
OutOfNiflheim: idk
OutOfNiflheim: its dificult

Maybe if you’re inept. I want to sing my little “ineptitude” song that I sing to my mom when she does something daft. But I can’t, it’s the Internet. LOL he just used the word “storeys.” Classic. I’m so much smarter than him. God, I can only hope. Lol, I just insulted him, he hasn’t replied. Woot! My bloglines notifier just notified me of my last three posts. I must take my own blog off of it’s list.

OutOfNiflheim: i’ll just write an autobiography so i know at least my friends and relitives will buy it to see what i wrote about them
dariusofthedark: I have a feeling that that would be incredibly boring

Here is a pretend exerpt from Taggart’s autobiography:

“Fucked this one chick today..masturbated…masturbated again…screwd this other chick…masturbated again…masturbated again…masturbated again…”

LOL. I amuse myself entirely too much. Woot, I took myself off my bloglines notifier. Cool, Taggart is going to ARC (American River College, a community college in Sac). He’s probably not taking any transfer-level classes. Yep. It’s weird…Bjork sings all these songs about love, but I can’t imagine anyone ever going out with Bjork, she’s so freaking strange. LOL, “Fuck Buddy.” I love this song. I so need a fuck buddy.

Taggart is blathering about how he now likes guys more than chicks. I’m blathering about how much I want to bang Mila Jovovitch. Seriously. I love her. But then she’d probably open her mouth and be all boring and model-ish and it would be such a turnoff. And then there’s the whole vagina thing. Why does life have to be so cruel? LOL. Seriously, I amuse myself waaay too much. OMG, Taggart wants a pic of me. He wants my engorged member…my throbbing purple meat scepter…lol. Purple meat scepter…I don’t know where they got purple from. Hmm. He’s sending me a pic of himself. I’m sending him a pic of me, I think the one that’s on my Yahoo profile, except not rendered into sepia. Hmm, he “doesn’t have the same old zest for heterosex.” Zest?

OutOfNiflheim: i went over to my friends house(girl) for some fun but…well…she had 2 orgasms…and after close to an hour got really bad leg cramps so we stopped…but i wasn’t even close to being finished

I’m uploading the pic of him:

Weird. He is totally not hot in this pic. Sammie thinks he’s hot, she’s seen other pics of him. I think he’s hot. Obviously. I think I’m going to upload our chat for posterity. It will be accessible at:

http://www.retroviral.net/chats/taggart1.txt

Yay! The Chemical Brothers! *does happy dance* Oh god, he’s saying he misses me. It’s depressing. I’m a computer disk. I’m not responsible for my actions. I’m a robot. I’m going to try to go out with him. It saddens me. But at least that’s an emotion. My current premise are that emotions are better than ennui. Oh, I kept trying to launch MusicMatch and it totally didn’t work. Gay! GRR. Wow, he’s opening his “heart” and “soul” to me. How “endearing.” *evil giggle* Gosh, is that deja vu? God, I’m all opening right up. He knows how to control me. But that’s okay. I’m just a product, a machine. I’m glad to fulfill my purpose, solving the problem of ennui. Hm, I finally looked up “reified.” It’s an interesting concept. It’s very Baudrillardian.

reify: to regard (something abstract) as a material or concrete thing

Taggart is turning on the waterworks. He says he learned to cry from acting. Hmm. I really love him…if ever there is something like love. He can make me feel things I can’t feel with anyone else. Well, so far. Seek pleasure, avoid pain. How base. How vile. Hmm, I thought Leslie had a virus but the virus scan just finished and there isn’t an infection. How lame. Omg, Taggart didn’t know what a JPG file was. How pathetic! He is so not my uber-techlust mangod. I am so not going to marry anyone who doesn’t share my techlust.

Tonight at the river we were talking about such cool things, about the end of American civilization and how cool it will be. I really like Sammie and Steve, they can get really philosophical really fast. Okay, I must go to sleep and not masturbate thinking about Taggart. I already did thinking about Royce, so I can’t be a slut. Lmao. I entertain myself beyond measure.

I remember I started this post for some reason…maybe it was to congratulate myself on adding my new “subscribe to my blog on Bloglines” button. I’m not too big of a fan of bloglines because it takes a day or so for my posts to be added, but for people who post less often (i.e. everyone I know) it’s great to keep up on their blogs. I downloaded this thing that sits in my system tray and will alert me when anyone has updated their blogs. It is so dope. Ah, I remember why I started this post. I was going to read Kyle’s blog for the first time (Tara had him start one). For those of you who don’t know, Kyle is Tara’s boyfriend who she met online and has kind of moved in at her house. I read the first few sentences of his first post and it started to entertain me, so I thought I’d have Blogger open so I could comment. First post read. Oh, blow me. Another optomist hoping and hoping in vain for immortality using crude sci-fi concepts to evade the reality that when we die we just rot in the ground. Sad really. He doesn’t know the difference between “to” and “too.” Difference:

I am going TO the store.
Can I go TOO?

Okay, off to the next few posts. Okay, he isn’t as lame as the first post made him seem. Everybody’s first post is usually lame. My first one was something like “I wish I could post all the time to this thing. I wonder if I’m going to graduate from high school.” Okay, must go to sleep. Must be awake for the fair tomorrow.

I ordered my shirt, my order # is 3638d103. I’m talking to Tara but really should be getting to sleep. I’m going to put a “subscribe to Bloglines” button on my blog, because Bloglines is the shiznit. I just went there and caught up on everybody’s blogs. Yay. Tara’s bf has a blog now. Interesting.

> Loudermilk - Estrogen Oxygen Aches in the Teeth Again
> OK Go - Hello My Treacherous Friends
> B-52s - Love Shack

I’m in a really good mood, I got off the phone with Tawna a bit ago. I turned on my other computer Leslie, it’s been doing this weird thing where it takes a million years to boot up. It better work when I format it. I know it will work when I format it. I went to the river today with Sammie, Steve, and Tawna. We went to Peacock Bar this time and it was uber-fun. I love swimming. Oh poopies, Leslie isn’t starting up correctly. I cry. I think I might have had some important files on that thing. Damn you… Gay! Great, I am just getting the blinking cursor in the corner of the screen thing. How incredibly homosexual. Well, I know that I will get it working, the only problem is getting my files off or not. Next time I get it online I’m not turning it off. It can stay on until Monday. I almost said alive in that last sentence. No, computers aren’t alive. They just are all warm and cuddly and…okay…they’re alive.

I’m IMing Charley, he’s playing some lame Karaoke game with his friends. He’s like twenty-five and he’s still living with his parents. I guess it would be fun to work at Ocean World though. Still… I spin the roulette wheel once again with Leslie. Let’s see if she passes POST. I’m bored. Nope, just got the blank cursor screen. Oh well. I watched the end of Resident Evil, it was on TV. I love that movie, it’s so cool. Mostly I love Mila Jovovich. I want to have her babies! OMG on the way home I stopped at Wal-Mart for some stuff: Listerine, a new toothbrush, and some first aid bandagey tape…but that’s not important. When I was checking out I saw Royce! He looked uber-cute. It would completely depress me if he rejected me though, so I can never make a move. Stupid Charley signed off, what a douche.

Oh, Me, Samantha, Tawna and Steve are going to the fair tomorrow! I think I’m the only one who will be able to afford a bracelet though. Hmm, Amanda’s computer got to the Win98 startup loady thingy, I hope it doesn’t give me the same error it gave last time. I’ll start it in safe mode if it does that. But I don’t think you can logon to a network in safe mode. Whoa, it’s actually starting up. Amazing. Yay, Kelly is online! Uh oh, it isn’t reading the smaller 4 gig drive. Well, that isn’t tremendously bad, I didn’t have anything terribly important on that drive anyway. It’s saying I have a floppy drive, but I really don’t. It’s trying to mess with my head. I think it thinks the other hard drive is a floppy drive. I just downloaded MusicMatch version 9, it’s pretty dope. The interface has improved, I hope they fixed a bunch of the bugs. I know that the bugs are mostly due to my homosexual OS (WinME) but it is responsible for quite a few of them.

Gosh, I can’t wait until my new computer works! It’ll be so dope. I worked on Molly’s website last night but my damn computer kept crashing so I never uploaded it. I kind of like the design, but it’s very gray. OMG it’s freaking 12:54! I so have to go to sleep, but I’m not tired at all. Kelly’s computer is dying, she’s going offline. Huh. I put all the billions of backup CDs I burned over the years and dumped them onto this computer to make one uber-backup DVD, but I really never did that. However, I did download all the Internet Explorer favorites I’d saved over the years, so now I have like every link ever, so I went to my old friend Trisha’s diary, and she posted the lame lyrics for Alanis Morissette’s “Hands Clean.” Pathetic. Oh, I totally forgive her, it’s an entry from 2003.

LOL, there’s this t-shirt website that has these HORRIBLE T-shirts that are SO offensive. Like, more offensive than T-Shirt Hell. Like “If you can read this, you’re not hispanic.” and such classics as “I hate white people” and “I hate black people.” OMG…they were forced to take the “I hate white/black people” ones off because their silkscreener found them too offensive. CENSORSHIP!!! GRR. I HATE CENSORSHIP. That is definitely one of my hot buttons. Hot buttons…that just sounded a little too sexual. Mmm….Royce can push my hot buttons any time he wants. I really want to get my nipples pierced. OMG, they have an “America Sucks” t-shirt!!! Oh how incredibly homosexual, they only have it in white. Gay! OMG OMG OMG I just realized I have enough money to get my “I’m blogging this” t-shirt!!! I think I’ve just reached nirvana, I’m listening to the B-52s. I’m so getting the I’m blogging this. Must get my check card out of the car. Hmm…I bought stuff today, I’d better check my balance. And then the uber-blogginess will be mine. Well, it was inevitable. MusicMatch just crashed. Gay! Washington Mutual online is down for maintenance. Gay! I’m getting it anyway, I get paid this Friday. Okay, I’m buying that and then I’m going to attempt to go to sleep.