I hate that I was a flake. I haven’t been a flake in so long. It’s such a strange feeling. Letting my classmates down really made me sad. And here is the first weirdness of having Molly as a teacher. It was such a personal thing to not show up and to not have read the play. It was letting Molly down, letting a friend down, not simply letting a teacher down. I mean, I wouldn’t have had as many qualms about showing up to a Letko class extremely late, because I don’t think Letko is a person to be respected. But this class is different. Oh well. I hope this will never happen again. I’m not doing another map. I don’t have the time, I can’t deliver. I have too many responsibilities, and I know that now. I just have to stop feeling guilty and start taking responsibility for my actions. I can’t believe I let myself down like this. I just want to cry. Life incredibly sucks.
Naiya is surfing magic sites, some of them are really hokey. I will never volunteer to do a map again. I hate this feeling. I love this class and I let myself down. How could I do this? I hate my life.