After work I headed over to the college, Amanda was hanging out in the Drift office waiting for the writers’ conference to start. It’s such a farce, it’s just a bunch of hack writers…well, failed hack writers. Real writers don’t give crappy workshops. I downloaded the music video for “Rock Your Body” by Justin Timberlake and was having flashbacks of Cube. It’s waaaaay too similar. Well…you know what I mean. I’m not sure what way I’d want to violate Justin Timberlake. I guess it would depend on how stupid he was. If he was a stupid model I’d be all “Suck it, bitch.” to shut him up. But I think if he was actually cool I’d just make out with him for a while, then have a good conversation. Yes, in the lightey-uppey room in the video. I wonder if it’s a CGI room. I doubt it. I tried to download the Nikka Costa “Like a Feather” video. It didn’t work, she’s not popular enough in America. She’s totally a European superstar. I hate that juggy slut that Justin Timberlake like dances with in the video. She’s a total slut. Slutbag. Did I mention she’s a slut? Psha.

We hung out for a while at the track. OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG there was this UBER HOT GUY PLAYING TENNIS SHIRTLESS and shoeless. He totally rocked my crotch. He was ripped too. Delicious. Sorta long hair. Oh, I downloaded this weird porno where they are of Eastern descent, the one dude has long black hair, like four feet. It’s strange. I never saw how it ended. I downloaded like all this porno last night while I slept but I haven’t had time to watch it. I guess that’s a good thing. Sometimes I wonder how in-depth I should make this. I try to not say things like “I jerked off last night watching this one porno,” but I’m not sure why I don’t. I think it’s mostly for my friends that read this. I don’t think they want to read stuff like that. They’d think I’m some horny freak. Which I am, but I have healthy outlets for my sexuality. And it’s not like I’m going to meet Mr. Right any time soon. I’m totally groovin’ to this Interpol song. Jeff was right. Interpol rocks my crotch. And so did that tennis player dude. *salivates*

I talked to Molly about her website today, I’m going to try to work on it over the weekend. I’m not quite sure why I’m doing it, a person who didn’t understand the situation would be all “Oh you’re doing it to get good grades.” Come on. As if I needed to web design my way through an English class? Seriously. Now if it was math, I would totally admit it. I guess I’m just doing it for a friend. I downloaded the video for “Heart Shaped Box.” OMG I think I totally saw this when I was like thirteen. LOL I totally did. The “Lithium” video sucked cock, it was just like…tour footage. WTF? I hate videos like that, they suck so much cock. Maybe they made the video after Kurt was dead. The “Heart Shaped Box” video just looks like a bad acid trip. It probably was one.

I’m so tired. I wish I could listen to my records, it’s too late though. I have about fifteen dollars left in my bank account. It must last me until Wednesday. I talked to Becky a bit on AIM, but her mom had to use the computer. OMG when I was at work on AIM that dude from Eureka, Dan, sent me his pic!

So cute. Well, not as scary and fat as I’d pictured this “Dan.” I think I said I’d call him later, but I’m totally too into my high-speed Internet. Maybe I should watch some of that porn. I’m too into music right now. OMG I should totally write a story.

I’ve been wanting to write a story for a long time. Something Camus-esque, Ballardian, and Doom Generation-esque. I’m too tempted to just mirror Doom Gen. I need to come up with characters. Doom Gen characters are very Los Angeles. I’ve never lived there. I would hate to write a story that took place here. Maybe I should write something about the sinister nature of Crescent City. I think that is a cool idea. I should try. I like blogging too much to try anything else though. I’ll try later tonight. Maybe after I watch some porn. Oh, I should totally watch them and comment on them.

#1: Started out looking kind of contrived, got more and more contrived until the end, then kind started becoming less contrived, seeming almost normal towards the end.

#2: That was very…homeade. I guess people will just pick up strangers in bars and bring them back to their places to screw on cam.

#3: HOLY CRAP that was DISTURBING. I would give my right testicle to un-see that. There was a guy in a big sack hanging from the ceiling and they were hitting the sack with a whip. Disturbing.

#4: *Yawn* how many times do you have to see a certain sex act before it becomes humdrum? Not many.

#5: *Double-yawn* normal American complete lack of plot…boring.

#6: This is kind of an interesting spin, there’s one guy and like a bunch of different guys have sex with him. It’s all done via jump cuts, I wonder if this is like this dude’s amateur video sex blog. Weird. OMG…that just got really really disturbing. If you don’t want to know, go to where it says in capital letters “didn’t want to know.” Okay, glad you’re still with me. This dude is licking male secretions out of a dog dish. That was totally something I didn’t want to see. I mean, I’m fine with masculine secretions, but a dog dish? That’s just strange.

DIDN’T WANT TO KNOW: you know, you totally missed out. Like with tubgirl. Anyway…when I’m watching a video and something strange happens I’m just kind of like “Hmm.” and then I cock my head to the side like a perplexed dog. And then the video is soon over. Perhaps I should stop blogging on my reflections on pornography. I think pornography is a very important and easily overlooked facet of the 21st century. I say that the 21st century is the century of voyeurism and masturbation. People don’t want to do real things or have real emotions, they want to watch them on TV (a very masturbatory activity). “Reality” TV is total emotional masturbation.

Jocelyn was online for a while, she signed off. I wonder if she blocked me. I was curious to see if she’d talk to me, since we weren’t at work. She didn’t. I wonder if I’m just a work friend. Jocelyn is really cool, I like her. Both Jocelyn and Susan are really perceptive and cool. I wish I could download all of Susan’s life experience into my mind, she seems very on top of the world. Okay, back to the reviewing. Let’s see…what number are we at? I’m too lazy to scroll up. I’m starting at one again.

#1: That was so strange/stupid. It was like this fake Navy bondage rape thing…with all these extremely funny voices superimposed in it saying random things like “Ha, you can’t do anything now!” It looked very vintage, early 70s I’m thinking. I just deleted it.

#2 Oh yeah, this is the one with the guy with long hair. This is a long one and I didn’t feel like watching the whole thing, but it looks weird. At one point the one with the long hair has it in a bun, but in th next cut it’s all out. It’s kind of funny. I think they’re speaking a foreign language. Maybe this is Iranian gay porn. LOL. It’s very well done, but not classy. Very low budget.

Okay, I’m out of porn to review. I’m watching the video for Weird Al’s “Amish Paradise.” It’s so funny. I’m bored and tired. I think I’m going to get offline. Neither Kelly nor Dan (the one from Eureka) have signed on. So tired. Sammie was kind of sick tonight, I hope she feels better.

We’re supposed to do this sewing thing tomorrow, I’m not sure whether she’ll be up for it. I’m so tired. I’m going to bed.

Jocelyn and I have both installed AOL Instant Messenger and we’ve been saying things that are SO FUNNY. Here are some of the greatest hits. We were talking about Tom having problems, and him assuming that it’s not his fault.

dariusofthedark (4:30:26 PM): Of course not! If we’ve learned anything from our years on this planet, it’s that Tom is infallible.
dariusofthedark (4:30:37 PM): And that his layout is always impeccable
dariusofthedark (4:30:49 PM): And that it’s Photoshop’s fault that his pictures suck

I would include Jocelyn’s amusing comments, but if this blog is ever discovered, I shouldn’t drag everyone else down with me. But she loved the above convo. It made her day.

I said I wouldn’t blog as much at work, I know, but it’s been a long while since my last “at work” post. Susan told me something really cool about her adolescence in a small town similar to Crescent City, she’s really perceptive. She knows about Crescent City towns. They’re the festering backbone of America.

Well anyway, I saw the sports tab today…I actually said “What, did someone take this photo and dip it in toilet water before they scanned it in?”

The lady from the ad room said that I should talk to Mike about helping to Photoshop pics. She says they need it really bad. I concur. Oh, I set my computer to automatically start up Quark, Internet Explorer, and Outlook Express when the computer boots. I’m hoping it will save time. I set Tom’s computer to automatically start Quark and Photoshop. Jocelyn left to go cover something…something about St. Joseph’s School. She’s going to swing by Subway on the way back and get me a sandwich. Yummilicious. I know I barely have any money, but closer to when she gets back I’ll go to the bank and withdraw $10. $5 for the sandwich, $5 for gas. My gas light was on when I drove here from the college. I can’t go anywhere this weekend. It’s going to be a hard week next week, I’m going to have to probably steal change from my dad to put in my gas tank.

Oh, I should totally check my e-mail. No messages. I e-mailed Kelly telling her about Bloglines. Oh, I talked to Molly about her web site, and I rooted around her computer until I found the FTP settings. Now I can update her existing website with the new assignments, and work on her new site. Once I buy my legal copy of XP, I’ll use my big drive with my illegal copy until I get the legal one. So I only have to wait five more days until D-day (drive day). Mouhahaha. Maybe I’ll just wait. Oh, I could just format the partition with the operating system on it. I never thought of that. Sweet. Eh…it might not work though and I don’t want to go through hassle. I’ll just wait until I get XP in the mail.

God my back has been hurting lately. It wasn’t so bad today, I slept without a pillow tonight in an attempt to ameliorate it. Mike says I don’t have to do that map today, that the story won’t go until the middle of next week, which is cool.

I woke up late today and didn’t have time to shower, I just put on some clothes and jumped into my car. I got there ten minutes early so I could read the story we were having a quiz on. It being fresh in my mind, I think I did very well on the questions relating to it. I didn’t have time, however, to read “The Blue Hotel” but there was only one quiz question relating to it. I should probably get back to work. Jocelyn is bringing me Subway! Yay! I get paid on Wednesday, I hope it’s a lot. $300 please!!!!! $150 for XP…however, I don’t have to pay for insurance this pay period so if it’s around $360 (which I highly doubt) I’ll get another stick of RAM for my computer. Okay, I’m done. Very hungry, I hope Jocelyn gets here soon. Must get back to work.

OMG. I totally have to blog about this: TOM SIMONEAUX RAN YESTERDAY’S COMMUNITY CALENDAR TODAY. THE COMMUNITY CALENDAR I SPENT AN HOUR ON, HE WAS TOO STUPID TO RUN. HE IS SO INCOMPETENT. GRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

This is one of those nights that if I didn’t have cable Internet that I would just probably go to sleep instead of blogging. It’s almost two in the morning and I just got back from the clubhouse, Me, Tawna, Sammie, Steve, and Joe were hanging out in there. We only invited Joe because he bought us pizza. Using our cool uber-new computer, I converted all the old pages to InDesign documents and moved most of the stories that are already done to the pages they go on. I also started redesigning the flag. I just need images and stories to plug into it. I love InDesign, it’s just like PageMaker without all those things that make you go “I hate it that it does that!” and “Why can’t you do this?” So I’m happy. Molly, I copied all the files off the Z:/ drive, so you should disable sharing on the drive. Just right-click on it, click properties, and there should be a “Sharing” tab. Select the “Do not share this drive” option.

Anyway, we all hung out in the Drift Office for a long while, watching the myriad of funnies at homestarrunner.com. I love that website. Everybody that’s cool loves that site. When we went to get pizza we totally almost died, it was dark and I couldn’t see the curb so I turned anyway and it was the sidewalk not the drivey inny thingy, so I did a U-turn in the middle of the road and like went for the driveway and came within like seven yards of getting hit by a semi truck. I was SO freaked out that a cop might have seen me, but they didn’t. We started listening to Dead Or Alive’s “You Spin Me Right Round (Like A Record Baby)” And it was stuck in all of our heads. I gave the CD to Sammie later that night. Joe paid for pizza and I paid for brand-x soda at Wal-Mart (which we consumed in its totality over the night). Well, work was okay…I just don’t have enough time to do all this stuff he wants.

He sold me on the idea of making a harbor map or something like that which has to be done by tomorrow. I won’t have time. I have English 1B in the morning so I’ll get there around 11, and not be done with my normal work until two..that only gives me about three or four hours to make something that it would take me an entire day to make when school was out. I’m going to tell him early this time, so it won’t be so catastrophic, that I won’t be able to do it. I mean, I just don’t have enough time. And then there’s that reporter meeting thing in the afternoon. My plate is just too full. Don’t get me wrong, I love the money, but it’s just too time-consuming. My time has to be divided between school, work, and my social life. It used to be just work and my social life. Now with the school aspect, I’m stretched waaay too thin.

I’ve been thinking about what I heard a while ago, that he was paranoid that I was going to quit. Give me a raise then. Whatever. I wish I could be more of an asset to the company, making maps and stuff, but I mean…my main focus is school, so I can make uber money later being an asset to a company or wherever I end up working. I’m just very torn. And I’m only going to get five hours of sleep tonight, which will SUCK. I worked too long on the paper. Somebody go in and look at my potential new flag, it’s in the Data drive. Oh, Molly, I need to let you access the Data drive from your computer in your office. Ask me to do that, I can do it in a few minutes.

Well, I am incredibly tired. I’m going to bed. Kelly e-mailed me, some stuff is going on. I’m too tired to comment. Apparently Kelly can’t read my blog. I’m going to tell her about Bloglines when I e-mail her back. God I’m so tired. I can’t wait for it to be the weekend.

To say I’ve been downloading massive amounts of porn since I got my high-speed Internet would be an understatement, but I haven’t really found anything that’s made me go “Wow, that is so original!” I’m so blase to porn lately. I need to find out how to put the accent mark on the “e” on blase. Anyway, I’m hoping to find something cool later in the month. I think the closest thing I’ve come to orginality has been European pornography. European pornography differs SO much from American pornography I almost want to write a paper on it.

American porn: Random muscled guys fucking each other.

European porn: Guys that have some pretext for sex making love and enjoying it (there’s actual kissing–who would have imagined?) I have to love German porn the best, because the expression you see on their faces in American porn is “I’m having sex, I’m having sex. I can only think of one-syllable words because I’m a dumb porn model.” where the German expression is more like “I love you so much and this is my greatest way to express my love.” or for the ones with more people: “This is really fun, I like to fool around with my really good friends.” It’s very different. I just thought I’d note that.

I felt like it was necessary to comment on something else…but I can’t remember what it was. I just picked up my new drive to make sure it was real. It just seems like a metal box. A damn expensive metal box. Until I put it into the computer the magic won’t start. Until I buy my operating system the magic won’t start. I’m only at half-magic. Just e-mailed Kelly my RSS feed, for some reason she can’t get my blog site to work. I don’t know what she smokin’ (or rather, what her computer is smoking). My best guess is that she doesn’t have the Flash plugin. I’m not sure though. I pointed her to Bloglines.com. And if you’re reading this now, Kelly, it worked! w00t. I must go to sleep if I’m to even pretend to be awake tomorrow for class. I’m too tired to proofread this post so if it sucks or doesn’t make any sense than tough.