Woot! It was an incredibly bad decision since I will only have $50 to last me until the 31st, but OMG OMG OMG I totally bought it!!!! Gaze upon its glory!!!

CLICK HERE FOR THE GLORY.

Video cardness!! Oh I will be able to play the grandest games! It will be glorious. Today was totally awesome. I’m going to go get those books Susan lent me and start reading them after I finish that language book Molly lent me ages ago. Woot! I’m sure something horrible will happen later this week to cancel out the wootness but right now nothing can stop my happiness. Woot!

The box my mom sent me arrived today, it was so cute! It had English teas and a bunch of cookies and a big chocolate bar and some more of those Saudi Arabian cookies that she gets from her friend Fasia. I’m absolutely sure I spelled her name wrong, but that’s how my mom says it on the phone. Anyway, she also sent me a reconstructor for after I dye my hair again. So I’m going to go get some dye tomorrow (I hope, if I can fit it in my schedule) and do it when I get home. I’m going to go blue-black this time. Really. I mean it this time. Maybe…

Well, I have $300 in my bank account and my one task tonight is to choose my video card and buy it. I already know that I want a card with an ATI Radeon 9800 GPU, but specifically which one is going to be a bit difficult to determine. I did save this one on my Tigerdirect.com cart…omg! It’s been discontinued. Weird. I guess ATI just wants to sell the chips and not the boards. Weird. Well, I need to wash my face and then get to some researchin’.

” It’s like a magnet, it locks onto it but it’s not like a magnet it’s all infrared, Nasa Jet Propulsion Degrabberizer…I’m the one that designed it.”

-Polly

“every other second and fourth Thursday”

I kind of got started on my drama essay…I did the first paragraph and a bit of the précis, but I could tell I was running out of steam. All this depression and isolation has just caught up with me. Maybe it’s just an excuse. I need some better resources than the Internet. Well, at least I know that now. Oh, Molly had said something a while ago saying that ellipsis had to have spaces between them for them to be correct, and I disagreed. I just looked it up in the St. Martin’s Handbook because I was using it for my works cited page, and it says “Ellipses, or ellipsis points, are three equally spaced dots.”

I hate that I’ve stayed up this late and haven’t even gotten half of my research paper done. But I guess complaining isn’t going to help either. I’m sick of this topic. I’m done. How the fuck am I supposed to write this? And now I’m all buzzed on caffeine and can’t sleep. Fuck everything. I think that the real problem is that I don’t want to find all this crap out on my own. I want a teacher to dispense pearls of wisdom about Theater of the Absurd. I want a textbook about it. I want lectures on it. I don’t want a compendium of all the half-truths and ramblings of the Internet. I’m never going to get this done. And my wrist hurts—my left one. It feels like a sprained it or something. And I have something in my eye. Will this hell ever end? I guess not. There’s just no end to anything. Nothing is anything. I can never remember with the word reified means. I just looked it up for the millionth time. It means “to regard (something abstract) as a material or concrete thing.” No wonder I can never remember. It’s such an abstract thing. I can’t even imagine a sentence in which I would use it. Maybe someday I will.

I’m really sick of this mise-en-scène. My life. Vacuous and empty. I’ve got to stop bitching and just fucking go to sleep. I have to say that my sole achievement today was climbing that big hill at the end of the Endert’s Beach trail. It was uphill the whole way. But I made it. I don’t know why I bother to exercise. I must stop (as my mother calls it) wallowing in self-pity. I must stop complaining about the problems I’ve created for myself. Oh well. I’m going to try in vain to go to sleep.