Monthly Archives: November 2004

terrible lie 0

> Nine Inch Nails – Terrible Lie

I’m bored. I have about three paragraphs of my drama essay done, I’m at about 400 words. I took a break to call my mom and to add a HTML list of links to my website. You can access it by the “Links” button on the navigation bar. My wrist is killing me, I can’t type any more. I’m downloading Doom III so it will be done when my video card arrives. I’m hoping it will come Monday instead of Tuesday. They usually deliver stuff a day early. Ow. Wrist. Must go do something non-computer related for a while.

nostalgia 0

I feel like escaping into the past, so I’m reading my blog entries from last winter when I was in Sacramento with Taggart. I’m posting poignant quotes:

“Taggart has been so affectionate lately, it’s either a quantum leap in acting or the most meaninful relationship I’ve ever had.” 12/29/2003

Wow, I was so deeply in love.

“I like blogging. It’s like TV, it’s a comfortable buffer between me and reality.” 12/29/2003

“Eh, fuck him and his overactive libido. And yes, literally.” 12/26/2003

“I want to have the uber-discussion about the loops between TV and reality, blog-reader and blogger. I had this great experience with the video camera Devon brought over. We were really bored but when we filmed ourselves and saw ourselves on the television we were like, amused or something. It was like reality magnified. Us watching ourselves watching ourselves watching ourselves. Creepy shit yo.” 12/28/2003

I’m bored. Let’s go even further back. Let’s try September 2003. Boring. Let’s try May 2004. This is too recent, I remember all this stuff. Lame. I feel like it’s wrong to read my own posts and go “Gosh you’re so clever!” But I am. To myself, I’ll always be the master of cleverness.

“OW! I just stretched and my back snapped like a pretzel. Well, it didn’t snap, but it still felt like someone impaled my spine with an ice-pick.” 5/25/2004

“[P]eople that stupid don’t have real emotions, they’re more like puppets for my amusement.” 5/13/2004

“He is SO inexorably naive, it really irks me when he talks in all these grandiose words about hearts mending and all this daytime TV pop-song romance bullshit. But we do like to get our rocks off together when we’re desperate. I think that’s the only reason we’ve stayed friends this long.” 5/13/2004

“Maybe I should go and live in a bathtub like Diogenes. I think that was a healthier proposition in ancient Greece than Northern California. Damn world.” 5/15/2004

“Ayn Rand, I love you. Even though you’re dead.” 5/16/2004

Lol. Okay, that is enough nostalgia for one night. Not a whole lot has changed in this past year in the poorly written play that is my life. The characters have changed, but in name only. Well, Royce has left. I think that I miss him most beacause in this fantasy land I’ve invented we fall in love and live happily ever after. We never saw each other. And I always was too introverted to ask if he could still love me. Well, if we didn’t create our own problems there would be no complications in life and everything would be boring. Holy shit! It’s 2:50 in the morning! Better check my e-mail. If Joe or Tawna are up at this hour, there will be no activities tomorrow. Oh good, no replies. Everyone is sound asleep but me. I feel so alone. But everyone feels alone, it’s so hackneyed. I’m banal. Insipid. Trite. And totally unloved. Well, in the ways that I want to be loved in. Not that way…that’s just a bodily function. Oh well. There aren’t exactly too many intelligent people of any sexual orientation in Crescent City to begin with. Lame. I need to go to sleep, my carpal tunnel thing is getting out of hand, my wrist and arm are going numb.

layout 0

We had a very fun and productive layout session, and our jokes got entirely out of hand. LOL. But yeah, I sent an e-mail to Joe basically asking him where he was on that story about the T1 line and whether he could hang out tomorrow. I was playing around in my case and somehow disconnected the power for the LCD on the front of my case. I’m too lazy to deal with it right now. Certain parts keep getting in the way of the fans, and when I turn it on I hear this clanking sound and have to turn it on and move the offending molex connector. I should bind them all together with those little plastic things, but those are so permanent, and I’m always adding new cards and such. I should maybe go to Northwest Electronics and see if they have a cable management solution for me. I have to go get gas tomorrow, I’ve been putting it off. Just like everything else. I absolutely must write my drama essay tomorrow.

I’ve been drooling over ATI’s TV Wonder card. For only $100, you can watch TV on your computer, and even turn your desktop into a TV screen. They were all “if you have slow Internet, it really makes it seem faster.” As if we needed more entertainment. I think I’ll just get the cheap-o VCR-to-DVD setup for like $40. Well, I guess that really isn’t too cheap. Maybe I’ll spring for the TV thing. Hmm. We’ll see.

LOL 0

> “That’s the biggest thing I’ve ever seen! Are you sure that’s 12?”

> “Say that with a smile on your face.”

layout 0

> Smiths – Bigmouth Strikes Again

I guess we’re having a layout session tonight, I’ll bring my computer down so we all can work (there’s only two computers that can handle Adobe InDesign). So I guess I should get my ass in gear and get down there. Jill is all ready I guess. Must go.

dinner 0

I had to endure my dad’s self-important ramblings all dinner long. He disagreed with everyone just to disagree. He’s such an asshole. He’s just bitter and old. I hope that I get more well-adjusted as I get older, he is the opposite. He’s bitter because he never took the time to examine what the world was really like and maybe make a difference. I hope I never get like that.

I’ve been looking up CD playing alarm clocks, I think I’m going to get one with my next paycheck and ditch that lame non-working stereo I have. Maybe I could pawn it. Even if I only got $25 for it, that would be a lot of the cost of a new alarm clock thing.

waking up 0

> Veruca Salt – Forsythia
> Duran Duran – Hungry Like The Wolf
> Enigma – The Eyes of Truth
> Pansy Division – Homo Christmas [LOL]
> Daft Punk – One More Time [best song ever]

I love going to sleep early on Fridays because I feel like I’ve slept in until three in the afternoon but it’s really only 10 a.m. Mouhahahaha. I had this really weird dream where I cuddled with a cute version of Jon. Weird. Oh and I had this other one where there was this killer lady and she escaped this house that I was staying in. So I went to look for her, and the further I walked down this road the closer I got to this…the only way I can describe it was “gay carnival.” It was like an amusement park but it was populated entirely by gay people. This group of lesbians kept saying that I was a chick as I was walking, but I ignored them. It was night and there were big rides, it was a huge complex. For some reason, I got into a bit of a desolate part of the carnival, and there was the killer. She was all dressed in the typical killer costume from “Scream,” but I escaped her the first time by outwitting her in the mirror room but then she got close to me when I was climbing up on this big gumball dispenser. I kicked her off after she had slashed the back of my ankle, and there was this big fishtank across the room. With a stroke of genious, I pushed the gumball dispenser onto the fishtank, causing the water to go everywhere, hitting a power cable, and electrocuting her. Oh yeah! I was totally victorious over the psycho killer.

Oh, earlier in the dream I had gone into the lady’s room (before she had totally gone crazy and put on the Scream costume) and I opened up her closet and she had this shrine to something, but I can’t remember what it was.

That dream about the cute Jon was weird. He was all eloquent and hot and such (TOTALLY not like he is in real life…eww) but I finally got him to cuddle with me and it was cute.

Omg! I had this other dream where I was on this island and I was with a few other people and we were hiding from the English army (don’t ask me why) and one of us was in this fort while the others waited in the foliage, and they heard this sound, and all of the sudden the army was returning and there was no way to get away so he hid in the attic of the fort but they caught him anyway and killed him. So the rest of us that were hiding went towards the beach and tried to hide in this little cave, and they didn’t find us, so later on we kind of started a fire and hung out for a while, but then we heard voices and we realized that they hadn’t stopped looking for us and I put sand over the fire and we tried to huddle into this “cave” that was really just an indentation in the rock, but the Red Coats found us anyway, and they killed us I think. We were all Indians. It was strange.

I love sleeping in because I can remember all the cool dreams that I have. They’re just lost to the ages any other way. I wonder if we’re going to work on layout today. I have to finish my drama essay and get started on my critique of a live performance that’s due Wednesday.

I got an e-mail yesterday from Joe saying that he had to work today so we couldn’t do the hike. That kind of sucks, but on the other hand it could have rained or something and it would have had the same effect. So I guess I’m not too disappointed.

Don’t tell my mom (she wants me to start a savings account with my surplus funds) but I bought the Creative INSPiRE T7700 7.1 Computer Speakers. Seven speakers and a subwoofer give true 3D sound for movies and games. They were $90, with $25 for shipping. I guess they’re heavy or big, that’s a lot for shipping. But I always wanted them. And I’ll have a killer surround sound system for movies and stuff. I have a Dolby Digital 7.1 compatible sound card, but it is kind of lame because there is no upmixing (however I’m pretty sure that if I screw around with it I’ll be able to get it to upmix without buying Creative’s $100 7.1 audio card. For games it will be the best because with Microsoft’s DirectSound, games will sound uber-realistic because you’ll like, hear monsters and stuff where they actually are so you can turn around and shoot them and stuff. But that’s only really useful for first-person shooter games. But for all other games, it will make them more immersive. My video card gets here on Tuesday, I’m pretty sure I’ll get my speakers by the end of week after next. I felt guilty after I bought the speakers (because I really should start saving) but now I feel much better because there is nothing I can do now and I’m sure they will rock my crotch and greatly improve future Libertine Movie Nights, if there ever are any in the future.

I coughed up some blood today. I’m thinking that my chronic upper respiratory infection that I’ve had since last year needs to be treated, but it would hurt my pride too much to go to the clinic. I also need to get my teeth cleaned. I should set up an appointment. My mom told me I needed to, and I said I would just to shut her up, but I really need to. I doubt I will. I hate setting up appointments. When I get paid I should go to the doctor I used to go to when I had insurance. He was cool. I wonder if he would remember me. But it would be so embarrassing for there to be tests done and for someone to call me up and say “You have herpes” or something like that. But I suppose I need to swallow my pride (and my phlegm) and call my old doctor. You were expecting me to say call the clinc? I would never put my pride on the line for something like a mild illness. But I would treat it like a nostalgic (if expensive) journey to the past going to see my old doctor.

one more time 0

Yet again I’ve endured another condiscending comment from Matt C. I really tire of them. Oh, I went out today and took photos of this boat that was beached and like, Mike didn’t want to wait until Matt M. came in because he thought it might be gone but like I got some good ones and they might be in tomorrow’s paper! My feet got all wet. But it was worth it if I get my first front page photo.

eww! eww! 0

I was typing up the birth announcements and came across one Kayli Hale, whose mother is HEATHER KING. I knew her (unfortunately) from high school. Think of the ugliest seventeen year old you can picture, add bad teeth, slutty clothes, a vacant stare, and a face like a fish, and you have Heather King. Oh god. She reproduced. Oh.. *shudder* I must have ten kids to cancel her out. God, I’m glad she didn’t actually touch this paper. Even through the fax I can feel her uglosity, her uglitude, her grossosity…it’s very scary. She inspires me to create new words to describe the horror. Well, I guess she wasn’t that bad. At least she didn’t have bad breath and back acne like someone who will remain unnamed.

b-day 0

My birthday was pretty fun. I came out of my room and we had pizza and Lisa made a cheesecake. She got me two cute presents too! She got me this book of chocolate recipes and these cool funky flamingo string lights! She totally knows what I like. I love her gifts. But yeah, it was cool. She gave me this really cute card too. She’s so cool. I put the flamingo lights up in my room, they look so sweet! I am totally baffled as to what to do with that $100 my grandma sent me. What I really need is a CD player alarm clock (my current stereo is dying and won’t play burned CDs, so the only thing I use it for is the alarm function. Maybe I will force myself to go to Wal-Mart tomorrow. God I hate that place. Even when I have money, I hate that place. I should get some snacks for the trip, Joe suggested powerbars (the obvious choice) and I want to see if they have those big ginormous camping backpack things for next time I camp to help us carry our stuff out. But anyway…today was a cool day. I’m sipping some Earl Grey to try to get me in the mood to write my drama essay (I absolutely need to write it tonight) but it isn’t happening yet. I played Hellfire for a while, but it just wasn’t the same. I need to play the Diablo II expansion pack. NEED. Not want. I can’t wait until the 23rd (when my card arrives). Oh, after that I’m going to send my DVD player to my mom because she wants one and I’m trying to brainwash her into thinking DVDs are better than VHSes (obviously they are). But yeah, after my card comes I’ll be able to play DVDs from my computer. And I’ll send her Edward Scissorhands on DVD, that will rock her crotch.

Omg! Becky sent me a b-day e-mail! Woot. I was going to reply…but I realized that there isn’t anything to talk about. I’ve been gone so long that I have no clue what’s going on. It’s sad. I think around January I will have worked long enough to ask for some time off. I plan to ask for some days off around Christmas, but I doubt he’ll let me. Gosh I’m tired. And bored. And not wanting to do that accursed essay. I think my English 1B research paper is due next week. I am TOTALLY unprepared for that. I should pick my topic tonight. After I write my drama essay. Damn it, I just need to stop blogging and get started.