> Ladytron – Light and Magic, Paco
> Assemblage 23 – Let Me Be Your Armor
Today has been the coolest day ever. Oh, I just heard my dad come in. I wonder if he got me a card or anything. It could be Lisa. Hmm. Oh, I opened that card that was on my desk and it was from JOCELYN! OMG! It was the cutest thing ever! And I fixed the AP server (It was turned off and I had to like turn it back on and launch the wire program and such). And then like I went to the college and me and Tawna went to Pebble Beach, and it was really pretty. Then she went to work and I went home, got the mail, and immediately delved into my cards. There was this creepy message on the answering machine from Grammie (my dad’s mom) wishing me a happy birthday. After all the shit that she’s done to me, I can’t believe that she has the audacity to say that. But anyway, first I had to look at the new Tigerdirect catalog. While I was doing that, the neighbors Alfred and Barbara came over and brought some pork they had butchered and my card. I opened it, and it was cute. Then I moved on to my aunt Gail’s card. She had sent me a picture of my little cousin Alexis, she’s so cute. I would post it but I don’t have a scanner that works. She gave me $25 and some phone cards (I have a million of them now, I feel like I should start a long-distance relationship). Before I realized it, I was opening Grammie’s card. I knew she would send me a buttload of money (she always does) to try to buy me back. Money is all she knows. It’s sad. She wrote this nostalgic thing about how we all used to…well, I’ll just type it:
“Dear Darius
I was about to get in my car and head for your place to take you all out for dinner for your birthday–however–I find you are a very busy person between school and work.
We used to always celebrate together–and I do miss all that–you and I were always close and did all kinds of things–so remember all that and have a great birthday and Thanksgiving
I will miss Love you very much and I am very proud of how you are working out your life–your dad brought the paper from your school–showing all you are doing–you have such a way with words–we are all so pleased–plus you seem to enjoy what you are doing–take care–
I would love hearing from you occasionally. My cell phone is 555-5555 of course you need 1-916 first.
Did your dad have you check the computer he took home?
–see you soon I hope.”
I don’t want to get into why she is evil…but she is. She’s like…well…there’s no one like her. No friend can be like a family member. It’s a whole different interaction. She… Okay, must not start telling my grandma’s life story. But she’s evil. Trust me. Everybody, remember the “banging on the window/talking to my cousin about sex” anecdote.
She gave me a check for $100. And now I feel obligated to write her a letter. Damn her and her money. I sent her last check back with a letter saying that if she can’t accept me the way I am that she should just cut the crap. She didn’t like that. Neither did my dad. But I was a teenager. And she was a bitch. Oh god this one time that I went there for Thanksgiving there was this family fight so apocalyptic that I had to take all my stuff and lock myself into the bathroom for the night. God she’s evil. No matter what she says I will still picture her screaming in my face that one Thanksgiving in Sacramento. There are certain things that can never be undone by naive nostalgia and selective remembering of the facts. Never.
But it’s $100. I know I’ll see all of her money someday (my dad is the executor), so I’ll just think of it as a trial run. I still am baffled about how to spend it. I don’t want to spend her guilt money on something boring like RAM, I want to spend it on something totally frivolous like clothes or condoms or something blasphemous. Well, Lisa and my dad are in the living room (they just like…showed up again or something) so I might as well make an appearance. Lol, Lisa just said “Where’s the birthday boy?” I should go.
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