I need to buy some stuff, and I think it will help me remember if I blog it:

Big garbage bags
10-ft. RCA video cable

gosh, I could have sworn I needed more stuff than that. I’ll add more as I remember.

> Placebo - English Summer Rain
> Garbage - You Look So Fine
> Placebo - Pure Morning
> Nine Inch Nails - Into The Void
> Daft Punk - Revolution 909
> Hocico - Silent Wrath
> Assemblage 23 - Let Me Be Your Armor

I’m listening to music. I just ate two bowls of yummilicious rice with cheddar cheese grated into it. Daniela told me about the wonders of rice and cheddar cheese. Well, today was incredibly stressful and a big pain in the arse, but at least it’s over. I accomplished everything I set out to do. I finished with work (finally…god) and I copied the pages out of the drama book for the play we’re going to read. I’ve been studying it all night tonight, I’ll continue tomorrow. I might call her on Sunday to see when we can rehearse, because I’m darn well not going to just do it for the first time cold turkey in front of the class. I’m going to know that passage inside and out by Monday. And I will complete my research paper for 1B. And it will be glorious. And I won’t be sloppy with my works cited page like I was with my drama paper. I was SO tired today. And I was hungry all day. And I wasn’t dressed fashionably. I went up and told him that I didn’t feel comfortable taking those people’s pictures because I would have to like talk to them and it would be being a reporter. I was in UBER STRESS FIGHT OR FLIGHT mode when I said it. It sounds like bullshit, and yes, my loyal readers, it probably seems quite silly that I didn’t want to take a pic of those people wrapping presents. Well, let’s recap. All times are approximate:

3:15 - Mike asks me to take a pic of the “Santa’s Workshop” people wrapping presents. I say “sure.” I begin trying to take a sample picture, but I am unable to get the big camera to work. The memory card is blank. No, not even blank. Normally when you look at photos on the card, there is a folder called DCIM, and you open that and there are the pictures. But no. Inside the DCIM folder was another folder called DCIM, and another DCIM folder inside of that, and another inside that one…I opened ten before I gave up. It was insane. I didn’t know what to do. I am very good at making computers work and such, but the way the equipment over there breaks down and everything…it’s insane.

3:20 - Mike asks me to take a picture of this lady for a guest column. I am now fiddling with one of the point and shoot cameras trying to get it to work. Like an idiot, I just use the camera that is in my hand. I take her picture, and look at them on the screen on the camera. I turn off the camera after she leaves, take out the memory card, pop it into the reader. IT IS BLANK. NO IMAGES. How am I supposed to explain this? There is no reason for this. It should never happen. But there are no pictures. I put the card back into the camera, and hit the ‘view pictures’ button. “No Images.” It says. How am I supposed to explain this one? And I have to take pictures in ten minutes.

3:28 - I am trying to show Matt C. how the card is malfunctioning, and the photo computer crashes (FOR THE FUCKING MILLIONTH TIME) so I have no way of knowing which card/camera work (IF ANY). My stress level on a scale of one to ten is approaching eight. Becoming fed up, I just stick the 256MB card in the Nikon camera (the big one) and go over to the Santa’s Workshop place. I greet them, and they say that certain people won’t show up until 4. So I go back. I tell that to whoever’s there, and continue to stress out about it. I realize now that I still have to type up a shitload of Neighbors stuff (I’d already typed a shitload of it up, but I had to type some more). Stress level: 9.5. I was so tired and hungry. Above all, I just wanted to go home. I wanted to go home so bad, and eat some food and take a nap. So I said the thing about not feeling comfortable doing a reporter’s job, I clocked out, and left. I don’t know, maybe I’ll get shit for it, but I don’t care. IT’S FINALS WEEK. I have to write this titanic (well, that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but still…) research paper that I have so far only an idea for, I have to memorize all those lines (well, that’s a bit of an exaggeration too, but still..) for that play that I’m performing with Maggie on Monday. And I also have to do layout and somehow finish the Drift before the end of the semester, with an all but empty back page. I feel like everything is just pulling on my limbs, everybody wants something. I can’t cope now, but I will be able to on Monday, with my lines learned and my research paper done. It’s 8:18, and I always go to bed early on Fridays so I can sleep longer without feeling guilty.

Oh, I forgot to mention that I stayed up until like 4 a.m. with Joe in the Drift office last night. After the layout session with Jill was over we just kind of watched music videos, I played Doom III and babbled mindlessly on, and Joe found random stuff on the Internet. It was cool. You know when you’re at that point of tiredness when you can no longer tell the difference between thinking and thinking out loud? I was totally there. Lol, Jill and I were Bush-bashing and I could tell he felt outnumbered. I laugh. If Kerry had won, I would actually feel bad about Bush-bashing. But I think Joe knows that I think that American politics are pointless anyway and each party is just worse than the other.

Democratic party at its extreme = direct democracy (that’s a bad thing!) based on socialism

Republican party at its extreme = theocracy based on totalitarianism

I consider myself a moderate. Gosh, where the hell did that come from? I don’t know. I’m tired.

I shouldn’t be talking about Amanda–it just feeds her morbid obsession with me–but I’ve heard from many of my friends (who she will yell at upon reading this) that she has printed out a blog entry that I wrote a few months ago about her and has been going around the school showing it to everyone. She’s also saying that she’s going to “put me in jail,” or something like that. I think she’s reached a 7.5 on the loony-ometer. It just kind of saddens me that she snapped. She seemed to be a really nice person before. Oh well. I just thought I’d talk a little about her, I haven’t in so long. You know, I thought if I ignored her, she would just realize that I did not want to be her friend any more. That she would give up. That she would stop reading my blog. It’s been two whole months–two months!–and she still voraciously devours every post. If that isn’t the final argument on how far she’s gone off the edge, I don’t know what is. Gosh, I can’t keep obsessed with something for fifteen minutes. Two months? I just can’t believe it. I have friends that I’ve had disagreements with, I don’t read their blogs any more. There’s no point to it. But I suppose some will never reach that level of maturity. Oh well, I’m going to bed.

I just went over there to attempt to talk to him but I couldn’t….I can’t talk to him. What am I supposed to say? “You don’t pay me enough to do this” or make some excuse that I have to go do something. Motherfuckers. I can’t do this. I can’t talk to him.

God, Mike has me going over to take some photos of some people and I hate people I don’t want to talk to people I want to go home and lock myself in my room and listen to music because I’M SICK OF PEOPLE! I JUST WANT TO GO HOME! I DON’T WANT TO TAKE PICTURES OF STUPID BRATS AND NOT GET THEIR NAME AND FREAK OUT AND HAVE THE DAMN MEMORY CARD JUST NOT WORK. I NEED TO JUST SAY “NO” BUT I CAN’T. I WANT TO GO UP THERE AND SAY “I’M NOT A REPORTER. I’m not a reporter. Not when you have cameras that only work TEN PERCENT OF THE TIME.

I just went to type up some neighbors stuff, and I thought “Oh, I’ll just scan this huge list of names in with OCR and copy and paste it in,” until I realized that all the little monsters’ names were last name first. GRR.