> Nine Inch Nails - Suck
> The Chemical Brothers - Star Guitar
> Nine Inch Nails - Closer (Precursor)
> Pansy Division - Homo Christmas

I’m working on my research paper. I have to just tell myself “Do this now, or you will fail English.” And it really compels me to work. I actually logged on to the Gale literary database off-campus, I was sure that it wouldn’t work. Today I bought Nowhere, this AMAZING movie by one of my favorite writers/directors, Gregg Araki. Um, not much else to report, I spent all day learning my lines for my drama final. I’d better get a damn good grade, all this time I’m spending on this. I regret that I can’t really come up with an ersatz costume. I will try. I think I’ll wear this big green long-sleeve shirt that has been sitting in my closet for months. I’ve been meaning to dye it black, but I never got around to it. It’s too big for me, that’s why I never did it. I dunno, I’ll ponder that tomorrow. Well, back to my research. I took a break to find out what a “crimen ex machina” is. Hmm, I guess it’s a take on deus ex machina. God, this guy needs to stop putting in French/Latin words, it’s making this really hard to read. We already know you’re smart, Mr. Writer Dude. Just translate some stuff, for god’s sake. Omg, this is incredibly amusing, “However, Julian L. Stamm is certain that Meursault was really a homosexual and that the shots on the beach were ejaculations.” (Robert R. Brock). How entertaining. He’s saying that critics of L’Etranger (The Stranger) just read in their own interpretations, and that it’s impossible to have an objective interpretation…something like that. I really agree. This is totally going to be one of my sources. Hmm…I still can’t find out what a “Lacanian reading” of something would be. Hmm. I wish I went to a college where they would teach me such things.

Wow, that was a really good essay. I’m going to make my title page and works cited page and make a file and get it all ready.

I want to type up my lines from that play and e-mail them to my mom so she can help me practice, but my wrists hurt because of my stupid carpal tunnel thing. It infuriates me. I’m very bitter today. I hate how my wrist hurts, it’s just this dull pain and you can’t ever get it to go away. I hate it.

I’ve been surfing the web trying to find a CGI hit counter. I did find one, but I don’t feel like installing it. I need to practice my lines. Why am I on the computer then? I’m going to go practice and eat breakfast. Eh, I downloaded one of the scripts. I must stop working on my website. Must go eat breakfast and work on my drama final. And later today I must work on my research paper.

I took a shower, but am currently too lazy to dig through my pile of clean clothes to find a shirt. It’s not like I’m going to a fashion show anyway. Well, it turns out that Amanda is out to destroy me and Molly. I really don’t know why. Well, with Molly I guess it’s because Molly fired her as editor. For me, I think it’s because she wanted to go out with me and finally realized that it would never happen. She used to say things like “I wish I could go out with a guy who wore black” or “I wish I could go out with a guy who wore makeup” when I was with her. For one, I’m gay, for two, she’s fifteen. Lame. I guess all of this meditation is just putting more fuel on the fire of her hatred, but I’m not really sure what else to do. This blog is where I cope. This blog is where I muse. If I can’t write…I just die inside. I don’t know what to do. With rational, sane people you can just sit down and talk about why there is a disagreement…but with insane people who can only see the world in black and white, you can never get to that stage. I guess this too is just “slandering” her or whatever. I tried not talking about her in my blog. It didn’t work. So this is what I’ve been reduced to: having every random post that I write printed out and shown to half the school. I can’t tell whether that’s flattering or scary. I think I’m going to put on a shirt and voyage to the bathroom to find a rubber band to put up my hair.

Ah, that’s better. Where was I? Oh yeah, Amanda. There’s really nothing else to say. Crazy people are trying to “destroy me,” for no reason. I should check my bandwidth. 5,154 page views in the last 30 days. Hmm. That’s got to be wrong. But only 25MB total transfer. I should jazz up my template with some images and stuff so I can take advantage of all that bandwidth that I pay for. But I guess with all the current goings-on, my bandwidth usage will definitely rise.

This is straight off my web statistics server:

I wonder if that’s correct. Hmm. I’d better get to studying my lines. I think I’ll type them up and e-mail them to my mom so she can help me practice. She volunteered to. Hm, I’d better call her first. Why do people have to carry out their puerile quests for vindication on finals week? I swear.