> Nine Inch Nalis - La Mer
> Ladytron - Light and Magic

I am trying to write this essay, and it’s just not happening. I have the works cited page all written up though, at least that’s done. I just don’t know what to say. I don’t know what I want to say. I don’t know what my research question was, I don’t know what my thesis is. I guess my research question could be “What philosophies does L’Etranger embody?” And I guess I could answer “Absurdism.” But that’s not exactly an essay. Holy shit, this has to be five pages long. Okay, if I write one page an hour I can get this done by 2 a.m.

First paragraph: precis
2nd paragraph: Camus isn’t an existentialist, he’s an absurdist
3rd paragraph: The Stranger isn’t racist
4th paragraph: The style of writing…comparing the 2 translations
5th paragraph: …

I can’t think of a thesis to tie all these things together…they’re just the things I can talk about most. I think that this paper is doomed.

I knew that my obsessive collection of this book would come in handy someday, and it has. I realize that I own about four copies of this book, and I looked through all of them and found this great introduction that I think I can use for my second critical essay. Maybe. Perhaps. I dunno. In reading that introduction, it says that Sartre wrote an analysis of L’Etranger too…I must find it online.

I ended up making pancakes…they were delicious, and really easy to make. I got nauseated, however, when I realized that what I was using was not real maple syrup, it was corn oil mixed with chemicals. EWW. I’ll buy some real maple syrup for when I make pancakes sometime in the future. I doubled the recipe and ended up with too many…but it’s okay, I just put them in the fridge for secret eating. Lol, anyway…I’ve been looking for essays on The Stranger and I still cannot find a single one. Well, other than the one that I already have. So basically I have to choose a new topic…and I only have one night to finish it. Gee, when has this ever happened before? So I’m going to fucking fail English 1B. I should look at my syllabus.

Eight quizzes: 24
Three midterms: 21
Precis: 5
Analysis Essay: 10
Response Essay: 10
Comparison/Contrast: 15
Research Essay: 15
Total: 100

Okay, from what I see in my binder I have:
Eight Quizzes: anywhere from 13-16, I don’t know whether she rounds .5s up or down
Three Midterms: I can only find one of the two I wrote (the third is on Monday) and the one has 5 points on it.
Precis: I didn’t do the precis.
Analysis Essay: 10
Response Essay: 10
Comparison/Contrast: 13
Research Essay: 0?

Total: 53?

Motherfuckers. I have to write this essay or I’m going to fail, and fail miserably. And then I’ll have to take it from Mr. Letko, whose “teaching style” involves nothing but trying to prove in front of thirty people that he’s infallible. What the crap am I going to write about? I have no clue. God. I’m going to fail. Lol. I never thought I would ever fail an English class. It’s my best subject. You know, I blame the library and I blame the Internet. If I would have been able to find just ONE MORE FUCKING ESSAY on L’Etranger, I would be able to write this motherfucker. I swear.

To try to have at least a little fun this weekend, I installed Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines. It is supposed to be a really cool game, but the program crashes and doesn’t load. I’m not sure why. I’ve read that this game was released without correct bug-testing and that it’s a spin of the roulette wheel whether it will work or not. Well, I lost the wheel. Oh well. I must go to sleep, I’ve stayed up way too late.

> Placebo - Second Sight
> Elastica - 2:1

Gosh, I just got so involved in reading those essays that it’s now 1 a.m. I must go to sleep so I can start on that accursed essay tomorrow. I got one critical essay from the Gale Literary Database, but they only had two essays on The Stranger. One was unusable, so I’m going to have to find some more. I really fucked this up, I waited too long to start my research. Oh well. I will know my lines by heart by tomorrow and I WILL WRITE THIS PAPER. I will it. I will spend all day and all night tomorrow doing it if I have to! I will prevail. I will get my grade, my B. I crave my B. I deserve my B. Well, I’ll deserve it if I finish this damn paper and do a god job on it. Well, I’m going to sleep. I’ll wake up and have some tea and get started tomorrow. Oh, I don’t know whether I blogged this, but my dad said that he’s totally going to Sacramento for X-mas! Woot! I’ll get to see my cousin Kelly and my aunt Kathy and I’ll get to see Dan and Becky and everyone! IT WILL BE SO COOL! I CAN’T WAIT! I LOVE my family down there…well, with the exception of “Grammie.” She is THE ANTICHRIST. Oh god, she’s probably going to con me into saying “I love you” again. I really want to buy a video camera or a digital camera so I can preserve her evilness on film. Well…not film, but still. Omg! I can’t wait. We’re going to watch uber-movies and have so much fun and you know what the best thing will be? Taggart won’t be invited! That’s right. He can just suck it (and not literally). For some reason I keep smelling saline. I have no idea why. Lol, boullion. I must go to sleep. I’ve been craving pancakes since last night, and I have this sinking feeling that I’m going to waste tomorrow morning making them. I must not indulge in such frivolities. Especially not on my last day to write my research paper. There’s that weird saline smell again…weird. Okay, I’m really going to sleep now.