Daily Archives: January 30, 2005

stew! 0

I just had like three plates of stew and I’m feeling a bit loopy. No, quite loopy. I think I’m going to bomb my speech horribly, but I don’t care. I’m going to get up tomorrow and go to my creative writing class totally unprepared but then I’m going to go to work and get paid and then pay my insurance and then go to the CR bookstore and buy my creative writing book. That will be cool. And I’ll read it and get all caught up. I can’t wait to wake up to my brand new sweeeeet alarm clock. It’s so fucking cool. I want to have its babies. I’ll post some action shots of it later. I was talking to Stranger on the phone, we talked for a while. I was being all loopy. I should go to sleep so I can get my loopiness out of my system.

avoiding stuff 0

Yeah, the expansion pack did get better. I’ll eventually kill Baal and it will all be over. Lame. I’m doing anything to avoid practicing my speech. I’ve been leaving random music messages on Josh (Stranger)’s machine. I was going to reenact a scene from Waiting for Godot, but I thought I’d start cracking up. My mom called me, I helped her with this big paper. It was an okay paper. Then she called me and made me do my speech. I wrote it out and everything, now I need to make an outline.

My speech:

Hi, my name is Arthur. I bring my book bag up here because for as long as I can remember, I’ve loved to read. When I was a boy, my mom wouldn’t allow me to watch TV. Of course, I protested. “When I have kids, I’m going to let them watch TV all day long!” I would shout. But now I know why she did that. I don’t have many memories from my childhood, but one thing I do remember is my mom reading to me. And that I’ve always loved books. I know it sounds like library propaganda, but I learned that books could take you places that you could never get through a TV screen. My absolute favorite book that I would have my mom read to me was called “Puss in Boots” [take out book]. She must have read this to me hundreds of times, and even now I sometimes pull it out and look at it. After my childhood books, I didn’t read anything too interesting until high school. I was in the market for new ideas, so I asked one of my English teachers what I she would recommend. She asked me what my favorite movie was, and I said Gattaca. “Well then you have to read Brave New World,” she said. It instantly was my favorite, and it opened up a whole avenue of ideas for me. In some ways, this is the cornerstone of the person I am. If I would never have read this, I would be a completely different person. Now, don’t get me wrong, I do watch TV—everbody does. But I’ve always seen the difference between mindless entertainment and intellectual entertainment. I’ve read books that sometimes it’s taken me years to get through, but when I finally finish them, I have this great feeling—this “Wow, I know something that I didn’t know before.” So of course, after reading Brave New World (which was on banned book lists for years, I started reading things that were a little more—strange. I saw the movie version of this novel at about 3 a.m. on the Independent Film Channel, and it immediately captivated me. It was the antithesis of anything I’d ever read before. The characters were shallow, lacked motivation, and the whole plot was fixated on sex and death. Not any kind of death, but death in car crashes. I loved it, of course. But when you boiled down all the sex and death, the philosophy behind it was that human beings are machines in the same way that their cars were. I read a lot more about this, but the most fun read of any of these was Invisible Monsters, by Chuck P. I just loved the narration, it was flippant and MTV, all centered on the philosophical argument that the only way to accomplish anything meaningful was to make the wrong decisions. One of the characters got a sex change, not because he wanted to be a woman, but just because he thought that was the biggest mistake he could ever make. Last year, my journey through literature was centered on the French absurdist and existentialist movement. I read Albert Camus’ novel The Stranger, and was just blown away. The plot of The Stranger (if you haven’t read it) is about a man who lives in North Africa who quite inexplicably shoots an Arab. The only reason that one can find is that the sun made him do it. I really identified with the idea that the universe is inexplicable, and I started reading the works of Jean-Paul Sartre, one of Camus’ friends. He wrote my current favorite novel, Nausea. Nausea is about a man who is just disgusted by his own existence. It’s a really fascinating read. I know that this isn’t the end of my literary journey by a long shot. I know a lot of people who regard reading on about the same level as a visit to the dentist, but there’s one great difference. When’s the last time you saw a TV show and said to yourself “Wow, I’ve never had that thought before!”

the end of the night 0

> Ladytron – Seventeen (soulwax mix)

Another night is over. I played Diablo II for hours, I beat Diablo with my Druid Deckard, but to be quite honest, the expansion pack city licks balls. First you go out there to destroy these catapults (which are way too far away from the city to actually do any damage), and then you get to this one point where there are all these little teleporting mini-monsters that shoot at you, it’s mildly annoying. I mean, I would imagine the lord of destruction could spawn some more formidable monsters than those rediculous faggoty teleporting imps that shoot lasers. Mother fuck, you’re supposed to be one of the Prime Evils, Baal. Your annoying, pointless monsters couldn’t scare their way out of a paper bag. Shame on Blizzard Entertainment for creating such a pointless expansion pack. Eh, maybe it will get better. Maybe. I can’t believe I stayed up all night playing. Bad bad bad me. I wouldn’t be so mad at myself for doing it if the expansion city didn’t suck so much ass. I need to brush my teeth and go to bed. Stranger isn’t going to last here. And he’s not cool enough to be Meursault’s namesake. I need to brainstorm a new nickname. I don’t want Monday to come. I don’t want to have to do my speech. I hate talking to people. I hate talking to groups of people just as much as I hate talking to individuals. People disgust me. Fuck. I’m going to sleep.

to love you… 0

> Massive Attack – Angel
> Madonna – Physical Attraction

It’s the middle of the night, I worked a little on my speech and played some Diablo II. I’m falling back on my voice recognition to allow me to use the computer. I’m instant messaging Stranger. I just want to go to sleep, but I drank some tea to get me into the speech writing mood. Motherfucker. This voice thing is being shitty. Fuck fuck fuck. I just hate everyone. Oh, I had this really strange dream with Joe in it. For some reason we were hanging out at this gigantic complex of playgrounds and talking. It was just really strange and every few minutes someone would call out “OH MY GOD IS THAT STRONGBAD?” and point and sometimes it would be him and other times it wouldn’t be. Weird. I got really far in Diablo II, I almost got to the point of releasing Diablo, I had about three of the seals open, but the fourth seal conjured up demons that were too powerful for me, even when I morphed into a werebear (which doubles my life). Maybe I’ll play Lavinia, my Assassin. I had high hopes of destroying Diablo with my druid and opening the portal to the expansion pack’s last city. Oh well.