I meant to write this long blog post about me and Josh’s trip to Ashland, but I never had the time. Nor do I now, I’m about to go to sleep. But I wanted to just touch on some of the highlights.

We went to this big Super WalMart in Grant’s Pass and got some cool stuff. I thought it was incredibly funny that I had the movie Jawbreaker and some boxers in my part of the cart. It was the visual juxtaposition, I can’t recreate it in words. Maybe tomorrow I’ll attempt. But yeah, it was fun.

Tomorrow me and Josh are going to make spaghetti sauce from scratch. Well, I’m going to be the one making it…he’ll help and such. It should be fun. I read the two stories we’re going to critique Wednesday. I liked Amanda’s best, Suzie’s ended with a pretty cool bang. Well, except for her use of these really long sentences during the action parts. But yeah. I need to work on mine (I had this GREAT insight on what I want the plot of my story to be (I didn’t even have a plot before) and omg it will be SO fun to write but I am really really tired so I’m going to sleep.

> Jamiroquai - Little L

I read my whole Creative Writing chapter, I realize I really need to work on my characters. They are so flat. But that’s the virtue of first drafts, they give you something to make better. But anyway, I went out to my car to get my binder to see if I have an assignment…oh dear, it’s some sort of character chart. I’ll research it more in-depth tomorrow.

I must admit that I was actually listening to the radio tonight–this thing on KHSU called the Zombie Hour. It was great, they played Depeche Mode, VNV Nation, Nine Inch Nails, and Bauhaus. It was pretty darn sweet. I’ll have to listen to it more someday.

I got my new fan churning the cold air from outside into my room, my case temperature was approaching 90 degrees when I last shut it down.

I just feel so alone. But who cares, god. Blah blah blah. Self-important “depression” bullshit. Fucking spare me. I bore myself even in typing about it. Poor poor me all alone.

My mom’s parents have been really really mean to her, I don’t know if I blogged about this, but today when she talked to me she said that they made her call her sister Gail who was so mean to her the week before. They are such fucked up people. I can tell that my mom is all freaked out about it, but what can I tell her? She knows how fucked up her parents are, and she put herself in this situation by moving back there.

I am wasting the best years of my life of my life in this hellhole where there is nobody that I love. It just makes me so sad. I’m not going to be able to buy any new toys for a long time, because there isn’t really anything new that I need. I’ll just be saving up for my eventual iBook purchase.

There’s no point to blogging about depression if it’s caused by ennui. This isn’t true depression. I need to watch my sad movie and cry, but I lent it out ages ago. Oh well. I must get to sleep. It was a mistake to gorge on tacos at 11:30. My whole life was a mistake made by someone else. Nothing is my own. I have no choices. I am a machine.

Last time I was at the store I picked up one of my favorite films, The Talented Mr. Ripley. I am absolutely enamored with Ripley’s character and his interaction with Dickie’s character, partly because it reminds me of a pseudo-relationship I had in high school, mostly because I can identify SO much with Ripley and his desire to become the beautiful and affluent Dickie. And I love that it’s a period piece.

I watched the special feature with the interviews with the cast and director and such, and Patrick has definitely gained über coolness points, since he owns a Vespa.

I love my computer, I can blog and watch movies simultaneously. I’m trying to write a story, I don’t think it’s going to happen. Must stop watching his movie, but I simply love it. Oh crap, I have class Monday, I should read my creative writing chapter. Maybe that will get me in the mood.

I tried to install Linux on my machine and make it a dual-boot system. So I was bored. Well, I fucked up my partition table and had to re-install Windows and reinstall all my programs. But at least I finished that retarded Erewhon book before I was done. And at least it left all my other partitions alone, so I didn’t have to copy any music or anything on. But it was still a big waste of time and I lost all my e-mail that I got since the 19th. Oh well. I need to write a story tonight. That is my one mission. I should install OpenOffice and get to work.

I went jogging today and while I was looking for my mp3 player I found my digital camera and finally downloaded a bunch of pics from it. Here’s some pics from the night me and Joe and Casey hung out:

Me and Joe playing Dance Dance Revolution

Casey and Joe hanging out in front of Safeway