I just watched the trailer for the new movie to be based on the Philip K. Dick book A Scanner Darkly and it looks SO fucking cool. If you’re on broadband, here’s the link to the trailer:

trailer

It uses quicktime.

But yeah, I slept for seventeen hours last night. I know that isn’t in any way normal. Hmm. Oh well. I’m determined to finish Erewhon, Samantha’s favorite book. I just can’t help but think after reading this novel that she’s shallow, no matter how smart she is. I bet she really identified with the narrator with his Social Darwinist “Christianize the savages” bullshit. I am DROOLING to start Marshall McLuhan’s Understanding Media: The Extensions of Man, so I want to get rid of this Erewhon shitfest today.

> Chemical Brothers - Get Yourself High
> Jamiroquai - Little L, Feels So Good

I’ve been working a lot on my story. All the action is on my fiction blog. I somehow haven’t been on Trillian all night long, I might have missed Patrick. I really really really enjoy talking to him, I don’t know why. Probably because one of my best friends is moving away and I won’t have anyone cool to talk to in Del Norte County any more, so I’m desparately seeking cool people online.

Another reason I look forward to talking with him, I suppose, is that I have to have at least ersatz relationship possibilities. I get so depressed thinking that the only friend I’ll have until 2006 will be Josh. I’d comment on that, but I’m not sure whether he reads this.

We’re supposed to go to Ashland tomorrow, he has to go on some trip for work, and I suppose he doesn’t want to go alone. I don’t really feel like it. I think I’ll tell him no tomorrow. I have to read two chapters for creative writing. I guess I should start that instead of Marshall McLuhan. :( Fuck. I need to go to sleep.

One of the ladies in the office just brought me this rediculous note saying that I’m biased or something against this one school. I could easily call the lady and explain to her why she is wrong, but no. They give me this infuriating note but they don’t put a phone number. Thanks, incompetent office ladies.

teledildonics.

> L7 - Shit List
> Basement Jaxx - Red Alert
> Ladytron - Light and Magic
> Marilyn Manson - In the Shadow of the Valley of Death
> Nine Inch Nails - The Downward Spiral (the bottom)

Today was one of those days that doesn’t have just one cause for being shitty, it has so many causes you just fucking lose count.

Like finding a giant pile of cat shit/vomit on my car just as I pull into the parking lot at work.

Like having my back hurt like hell all day long for no fucking reason.

Like having my check engine light on for two weeks.

Like having Joe ditch me before and after class for some dickwad that spends a lot of time reading web comics.

Like having to pretend I care about anything anybody says

Like having to pretend that I like anyone.

Nobody ever escapes their childhood. When I was a kid my dad moved me from my school in a nice little town down south IN FIRST GRADE and moved me to this shithole. I had no friends for years, not until high school. And I learned to hate people. I hate people so much. I hate everyone for what those fucking cruel bastards did to me.

I just don’t fucking give a shit. I need friends so I put on my gregarious act, but inside I hate everyone, even if I don’t know it. I hate being dependent on stupid fuckheads to make me happy.

When I saw that pile of cat shit/vomit on my car I just wanted to go buy a shotgun and fucking blast that fucker to bits. I wanted to smear his fucking pieces all over the car, chanting YEAH? FUCK UP MY CAR AGAIN YOU PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT! NOW YOU’RE DEAD, DO IT AGAIN AND YOU’LL ALL BE DEAD.

But I love my cat. Still, when I have to resort to violent revenge fantasies, I’m careening out of control emotionally.

Give me violent revenge fantasies as a coping mechanisms.
Flash!

Well, I guess I should make a list of the good things that happened:

I got to check out the hot dude with the black hair in my Econ class

The version of Linux that I like is installed and working perfectly on the computer in the living room

My computer is working okay since I brought it into class

I discovered a place I can get a signed hardback copy of J.G. Ballard’s The Atrocity Exhibition.

The new copy of the Drift is out and ready to be picked up.

I found this pretty funny site with remixes of romance novel covers.

I guess I could go pick up the Drift, but if my car breaks down I don’t want to be in Smith River at 10:30. There’s no phone in my dad’s room, he won’t answer if somehow I was magically able to find a cell phone.

LOL

I don’t want to go to sleep. If I do that then I’ll have to get up and go to work and try to not tell my boss that he’s a techtard.

I guess I could just make all the font sizes like fourteen point bold. That would work. If he tells me he can’t see that, I’ll tell him to get some dark glasses and a motherfucking cane.

Oh yay! Patrick signed on! A ray of light from Sac to save me!