> Placebo – Narcoleptic
I just read about twenty more pages of Marshall McLuhan’s Understanding Media: The Extensions of Man. That book is SO dense, I had to take a fifteen-minute nap for my brain to assimilate all the info. There was just so much… That man is smart. Very smart. Incredibly smart. Too smart to be described in words. Übersmart.
Categories: Uncategorized
> The Cure – Let’s Go To Bed
My boss has been blaming me for something that isn’t my fault. That’s pissing me off. I made spaghetti sauce tonight, I didn’t like it at all…I mean, it tasted really good, but it came out a bit runny. It didn’t cook long enough. Eh. Delicatessen was on IFC, but I only got to watch the ending. I wish it was out on DVD. Oh yeah, I haven’t checked the mail yet, maybe that Gregg Araki movie showed up. I’ll go do that. I missed my car appointment, but there was a message on the machine saying that they cancelled it. I resceduled for really really early Tuesday morning, which is so cool, cuz I don’t have class that day. My mom’s talking to me. I feel really bored. The iMac I want has a twenty inch widescreen display, or I could get the seventeen inch one. I’m not sure. The twenty inch one would be titanic. I dunno. I’d have to see one in person. There’s an Apple store in Arcata, I want to go there sometime with Josh. I should go see if my movie arrived.
Categories: Uncategorized
I’m watching The Living End, and wishing I had the hardware to do it from my bed instead of my uncomfortable desk. I tried to sleep. I failed miserably. I didn’t get any e-mail, but that’s not really so bad, I never send any. Maybe I should write Kelly back. I don’t know what I would say…this isn’t my real life, it’s my purgatory. Nothing ever happens. What would I talk about? How in a few months I’ll cash in my current computer and get an iMac? How I hate my life? How I never have anything to do? It’s so easy to write blathering e-mails to people I don’t care about, but for people I respect, my e-mails have to be polished pieces of perfection…double and triple-checked for any sort of semantic ambiguity. I’m not up for that unless I have something real to say.
But I did decide on an iMac. Yesterday I was soooo sure that I wanted a PowerBook, but I was talking to my mom and trying to justify getting a laptop, and I just couldn’t do it. But I did need a computer that was portable, if not a laptop. So I started looking at the iMacs. They only have a power cord, and they’re just a flat panel display. With a wireless keyboard and mouse, I could just throw it in my car and go wherever I want with it. True, it’s about 25 pounds, but it’s just a small flat panel that I could take anywhere. I’m liking it. And it is MUCH more powerful (processor-wise) and cheap than the powerbook, and it has a killer huge display…all the features I need: great portability, incredibly sexy giant LCD display, 1.8GHz processor (instead of 1.5GHz on the PowerBook) and I feel like it isn’t as easily steal-able as the laptop. And with Airport Extreme, I can plug it in anywhere in the house and have the Internet. So basically it’s just like the laptop, but with much much cooler features and I have to have it plugged in.
I don’t know why I write these rants about technology. It’ll be month after next (or even further in the future, depending on the cost of my car) before I can afford it. I have no goals. My only goals involve buying stuff. I realized yesterday that if I was as devoted to planning out my life at a 4-year college in as excruciating detail as I plan my future technological acquisitions, I would be much closer to getting out of here. But the thing is, I feel very safe here. I know my computer isn’t going to get stolen by some meth head if we forget to lock the doors *crosses fingers.* I just can’t imagine living in a dorm without all my computer crap getting stolen. When I get the computer I want, it will be worth around $2000. I’d have to get a safe or something. God. So that’s why I like living here. That’s why I can’t concieve of leaving. That’s why I have to spend every moment thinking about buying things.
Categories: Uncategorized
> Orgy – Eva
> Depeche Mode – World In My Eyes
> Daft Punk – Superheroes
I’m ever so close to being able to buy my powerbook (woot!) so I’ve been trying to decide exactly how much it’s going to cost me to get everything up and running.
Powerbook itself – $1500 for 12-inch or $2100 for the 15-inch
firewire 5.1 thingy – $99
video input/output system (not really necessary until I want to start doing video editing)- $200
160GB firewire 800/USB 2.0 external hard drive – $190
carrying case – $40 or so
cigarette lighter power inverter – $40
flat panel display (not really necessary right now) – $250 or so, but with prices falling so fast I’ll buy this last. I already have an 18″ viewable CRT monitor to use in the interim.
So basically I need to save up. Grr. The only reason I’m contemplating this so intensely is becuase I have no idea how much it’ll cost to fix my car. My whole future technological world is thrown into chaos with that darn car costing me money. I think the next step is to get that external hard drive, then I can copy all my files off of my computer when I format it before I sell it. I’ve decided on this one:
I don’t know how I would use up the combined 330GB of my laptop and this device, but it’s always good to be prepared. I want to take my DVD collection with me wherever I go, I think that would be the best way. At 4GB/movie, I could take sixty or so DVDs with me. That would be cool. I really must do something constructive with my time. I must STOP window shopping at technology websites. But what’s the point? I have to consume myself with desire for something.
Oh huh, I don’t think my dad got the mail today. Maybe I got my movie! I will brave the cold to go out and see.
Nope, there was nothing…but while I was walking through the garage the pump turned on and scared the shit out of me. That was fun. God, I really need to do something. Something that doesn’t involve ogling computers. Well, I did read another chapter in The Medium Is The Message and in A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genious. That’s something. SHIT! I MISSED FAMILY GUY! GRR.
Well, I guess I’ll just keep saving up my money and hope that I can eventually afford the 15″ PowerBook. I just realized that it has a 1.67GHz processor instead of the 1.5GHz that’s on the 12″ PowerBook. So that’s sweet. And it has a screen with the aspect ratio for watching movies and such. Oh, I can’t wait! I could be lying around in my bed surfing the web and blogging wirelessly. Oh yeah, that’s what I forgot to add to the list:
AirPort Extreme: $175
Oh god, I’ve reached a new low: I just watched the iPod Shuffle ad on Apple.com. I need something to do. I’m realizing that I’ve bought into this whole iPod Volkswagen and Starbucks culture, but I feel like I’m too old. I can just see the trust fund kid friends of my dreams going “Omg…you listen to ____?” That’s so 90s. I left Josh a message. He didn’t call back. He’s probably penetrating Kayla’s vagina right now. I feel poor. I dream of a frivolous life where I could lounge around in cafes, sipping mochas and working on novels on my laptop. But no. There will never be such frivolity. I’ll just sit in my crappy room in some crappy apartment trying to get Blogger to work because it’s the only outlet for what I think. I lost my chap stick, the cap sits here taunting me. Maybe it’s under my chair. Nope.
Look at this crap, this is from the description of the iPod:
“Imagine: you could fly from New York to Paris and still have hours of listening time left over as you stroll the Champs Elysées.”
I WANT TO STROLL THE CHAMPS ELYSÉES! GRR! EVIL FATE!
Maybe I should be saving up my money to leave this place instead of to buy a laptop. Oh well. A slavish devotion to technology is my character flaw. At least I can admit it. Shit. I have to go to sleep. I shouldn’t have taken a nap when I got home.
Categories: Uncategorized
> Marilyn Manson – Vodevil
> Miss Kittin and the Hacker – Showgirls
Well, today was certainly a day. That’s about all I can say. Like a sixteen-year-old jock after prom night, I fell right asleep after I got home. I don’t even know why…it was the weirdest thing. Nah, it wasn’t really that weird. But it’s pretty much all I have to talk about. Oh! I totally got paid today and that guy at work that I’m helping with his website totally gave me a bunch of money. I’m astounded by how much money I have.
But anyway, I called up the dealership in Brookings and it’s going to cost like a billion dollars to fix my car (it starts at $150 and then goes until whenever they fix it or something. I’m going to have to make it quite clear to this lady that if it’s over $500 I’m not going to be able to pay them. Oooooh it would piss me off to give them my nest egg. GRR. But if I have a car that’s running well I’ll be able to get a new nest egg. I’m tempted to pay all my bills right now so I can save my next paycheck in its entirety, but it’s kinda rediculous. I’ll pay my bills no matter what. And I should save every penny until I figure out how much this damn car is going to cost me. I have an appointment later in the week, I think I’m going to just stress out until then.
Well, I am going to have to wait until June or so to get a comptuer where OSX Tiger is preloaded on it. Oh, I had a bit of a convo with this other guy at work that I think is pretty cool, I gave him my number and e-mail address. I’m not sure whether it’s a good idea to become friends with people at work…but what’s the worst that could happen? He’s a cool guy, from what conversations we’ve had. And then there’s the fact that I have no friends. Well, I do, but Josh is involved with his new “girlfriend,” emphasis on girl–little girl. “Do you want Daddy to touch your vagina?” Fucking paging Dr. Freud. And Joe’s in Mexico, for some reason. Hope he brings some bottled water…lol.
I’m looking at all this bluetooth stuff on macally.com, after I read reviews of it I think I’ll probably buy their new BTcombo system. I’ll be able to use it with my PC until I get rid of it.
http://www.macally.com/new/new_btcombo.html
LOL! This shirt is so me!
http://www.tshirthell.com/store/product.php?productid=452
Categories: Uncategorized
Hung out with Josh last night, it really bored me. I’ll elaborate later. I get paid today, so I think that I’m going to drive up to Fred Meyer’s and check out their computer desks/chairs. Eh, fuck it, I’ll just wait until Wednesday when Josh can perhaps accompany me. I already have a half tank of gas…I could have sworn I just filled it up. I don’t think I’ll be able to buy a new chair with these crazy gas prices. But oh well, the more I save up the closer I’ll be to my laptop.
Categories: Uncategorized
I just got some pics off my camera, here’s me coloring my hair yesterday:
Here is the brownie abortion. It was missing two eggs and a half-cup of flour:
Categories: Uncategorized
> Elastica – Human
I just found this really cool external video input/output thingy so if I wanted to I could edit video from a camcorder and/or import my movies that are on VHS tapes and such. I was just wondering if I’d be able to do it:
the cool video edity thing
I’m really bored. I guess Josh isn’t getting off work. I have nothing to do until tomorrow. I’m dreading work tomorrow. My back is killing me. I need to buy a workstation chair tomorrow. That’s my goal. And to set up my eye appointment. Shit, I need to make a list:
Buy a workstation chair
cash paycheck
put $100 in savings account
call to make eye appointment
call to make car appointment
bake my dad brownies to placate him
send my mom the movies I bought her ages ago
Well, I cleaned up my room a bit today, that’s something of an accomplishment. And I read another chapter in A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genious. and I changed my the stuff up in my windows and put up curtains. I guess I could bake the brownies now, it’s not like I’m doing anything else. Time to power up the mp3 player. I’m really glad I bought that thing.
My dad asked something today about the Nine Inch Nails concert that I had weeks ago talked about wanting to go to. The sad thing was that I barely remembered saying anything about it. I’m so inured to this life here that the whole rest of the world doesn’t seem real any more. Yes, I know, yawn at the solipsism, but still. Kelly sent me an e-mail weeks ago and I never replied. I meant to, I mean I meant to with all my heart but I just couldn’t. It’s just…I have no idea what’s going on there, I feel like a fool leaving weepy “I miss you” comments on Kelly and Becky’s MySpace profiles. I feel like a loser. I hate being stuck in this place. Well, maybe once I’m not a teenager any more I won’t feel like this. Only 8 more months until then. It’s going to take me forever to graduate because I can’t take a full load of classes. Josh will have his “girlfriend” move in and then when my dad kicks me out I’ll be out on the street. Fuck.
I just made some brownies, but shit face (my dad) didn’t have any flour or eggs so I just put everything else in the fucking bowl, mashed it around, and put it in the motherfucking pan. If I’m going to fucking take time out of my day to make him brownies, he’d better get the fucking ingredients. I actually even toyed around with the idea of driving to the little store to get flour, but fuck it. I don’t give a shit about him. He’s so fucking cheap. Can’t even buy the ingredients to make his favorite fucking snack. They had the consistency of mashed potatoes mixed with oily dirt when I put them in the pan. I hope they’re fucking disgusting. I just want to scream. I’m angry about something. It’s one of those “everything in the past few weeks has built up to this so I just have to go outside and scream ‘fuck’ at the top of my lungs” things. But no. Maybe I’ll just go to sleep early. He didn’t even have the decency to call me back. I have no friends. Joe is in Mexico. I don’t know why. I didn’t ask. My hair is fried and looks horrible. I look horrible. I just ate this giant bowl of ribs because I was depressed about my baking failure even though it wasn’t my fault. I hate myself. I’m going to go read or something. And to top it all off, Blogger decided to take a shit on me and it hasn’t been working for hours. I would gladly pay a few fucking dollars a month so that it would just FUCKING WORK *bangs head against keyboard*
Categories: Uncategorized
> Angelfish – Sleep With Me
> Madonna – Where’s The Party
I’m eating this HUGE lump of rock candy, it’s SOOOO yummilicious! I was cleaning my room, but I got fed up with how I couldn’t get around at all because of my giant rocking chair and “desk” that I use my computer on. So I’ve made up my mind to spend my next paycheck on a nice computer desk and workstation chair. I left Josh a message to see if he’s going to get off work in time to go browse office furniture with me. I’m dancing around my room to this old Madonna LP I picked up like 6 months ago. I really need to buy some new records. I’ve been feeling the need to paint, I should go into town and get a canvas, but I just can’t justify the expense right now. Once I have money it’ll be another story.
Categories: Uncategorized
Me and Josh hung out last night. We rented movies and saw Cube Zero, the prequel to Cube, and The Saddest Music In The World, which bored me, but it was trying so hard to be artsy it wasn’t so bad at all. Josh has a girlfriend now. How pathetic it must be to not know who one is. I would even have respect for his “discovery” if some cool hot chick converted him, but no. It’s this naive imbecilic Crescent City-ite who looks like she’s fifteen. Paging Dr. Freud. Most of the visit was spent watching Family Guy while he attempted to get rid of her. He’s so boring, all this lame talk about being “happy.” Well, if happiness is screwing some fifteen-year-old idiot to massage my atrophied self-worth, I’ll gladly be the saddest person in the world.
Categories: Uncategorized