> Nine Inch Nails - Only

OMG OMG OMG OMFG OMFG that is like the best song ever. I was fucking blasting it all day long. It took me all night after the release to download With Teeth. I’m not really such a big fan of anything but Only and All The Love In The World, but I think the rest of the CD will grow on me, since I’m in like orgasmic bliss from Only.

Anyway, I’m at Josh’s house after work and his phantom date fleed to his bedroom as soon as I arrived. I guess I used to be hella introverted because I remember doing the same thing one time, but now I’m much much more extroverted. I wonder if he’ll come out and say hi. I wonder if I should start playing DDR. Would that freak him out? Should I go in there and try to say “hi?” Well, if he fleed in the first place that means that he doesn’t want to talk to me. I guess. Well, I have the living room and that’s all that matters. I guess I’ll get into some DDR action once I finish my online tasks. My stupid mouse hasn’t shipped yet, psha.

I hope he comes out and talks to me, since I don’t want to be stuck without a home base for the obligatory Joe/me/Ben Thursday night hang out session. I guess I should start DDR-ing, that way it would be less embarrassing for him to come out of the room and be like “wtf?” than for me to venture into the inner sanctum and be all “Hello, stranger.”

Okay, I don’t have class until six-thirty-ish, and I can’t exactly go home, but I don’t want this standoff to continue for hours on end. Shit. I guess I could go home and play it in my cool sound system. Hmm. And perhaps I could watch a movie. Nah, I’d just play DDR.

OMG! One of my best friends ever brought me lunch today! It was so cool. I’m all jealous that they (footnote) get to hang out with Susan and I don’t. :(

(footnote) I am henceforth going to use the world they as a neuter of he or she. I don’t care if it’s right or not, English just has to develop a word that means he/she.

But anyway, I can’t deal with the standoff much more. I guess I should leave. I guess it was a mistake to come here. Because of loser head, I have to waste yet more gas. Hmm. I guess I could go to the Drift office and DDR…but that would be so unprofessional I couldn’t do that. I can just imagine Mr. Letko coming in right when I’m in the hardest part of a song. I hear noises. Perhaps the dude is venturing out. Eh, it’s weird. Aha, I’ll be all “Okay, I’m leaving…you can have the living room back.” before I go and then he might be all “cool” and come introduce himself. Probably not though. But this is driving me to blog, and I should just get the hell out of here while I haven’t embarrassed myself. Okay. Must go. Now.

I hate this–not being able to express my feelings since my wrists hurt. My new mouse hasn’t shipped yet, I hope it will tomorrow. Then it would maybe get here by Saturday. Maybe. Me and Ben hung out tonight and watched infomercials. Josh had a date. Me and Ben were being all nosy about the guy, of course. Oh, since I got my DDR adapter and pad, I set up Stepmania on his laptop and was playing for hours at his house between the time I got off work until I had my speech test. OMG it was so fucking easy, it was all just English 1B crap and common sense. I got my mom her mother’s day card and sent it today. She’ll like it. Crap. My wrist already hurts.

As much as I don’t want to be, I’m still bummed that Royce is gone and I miss him. I’m so fucking pathetic. He was telling me all these horrible mean things his ex said to him and I just wanted to hold him and tell him that he was a good, sensitive caring person and he didn’t deserve any of that shit. But I hardly know him. I’m just being a sentimental loser. We watched that short film that I had loved called Magnetic Rose and he was laughing at this one part where this father sees his child die and I thought to myself “You know, I’m just a maudlin fool.” I should have been laughing at that death. Oh, I devised another inside joke to myself. The first one was to put a Bush/Cheney sticker right under my Kerry/Edwards sticker. I plan to buy a whole bunch of vintage campaign stickers and put them on my car for kicks. But anyway, my new plan is to get a cross to put on the chain I always wear around my neck. It would be incredibly amusing (to me).

But my wrists are killing me so I must go back to my world of isolation where I can’t write about my feelings any more. Monkey fuck. I’m up late copying DVDs, of course. This weekend I have to watch:

Naked Lunch
Primer (Susan recommended this one)
Logan’s Run

They should be good, especially Naked Lunch. I love David Cronenburg.