> Chemical Brothers – Get Yourself High
> Random Depeche Mode
> Stacey Q – Two of Hearts
Today was hectic as all hell. I had to deal with the DMV, so of course that took about an hour or two out of my day. I got chewed out this morning for making all of these careless mistakes that I made because my wrists were in tremendous pain. I simply must talk to my boss tomorrow about my wrists. Definitely before he makes me do another map.
Anyway, I at least got my new driver’s license and dropped off a late assignment at the college. When I realized that my teacher’s box was gone, Linda Hays slummed out of her office ostensibly to assist me, but was really gloating to see one of her enemies leave. Go place more solitaire, neoconservative bitch.
That was harsh. It felt good. I hung out with Josh tonight, it was okay. We watched some twilight zone and some other stuff. I looked for ergonomic keyboards on the net and was very disappointed at the selection. I did find one I liked though. I have to wait until I get my new check card to buy it though. Ben was nice and let me borrow $20 to get my new ID. Tomorrow I’m going to go to the bank and attempt to withdraw some money to pay him back and to get some gas.
I’m in self-pity mode. I wish that Martin was really 19 instead of 16, then maybe my now-deceased fantasy of him being my intellectual boyfriend would be more founded. But that fantasy has as much verisimilitude as my Royce fantasy. I don’t think I could even make out with a high school dropout. I think he likes me, at least as a friend. He doesn’t interest me at all anything more than that. I’m just not attracted to younger guys. I’m attracted to people that are as intelligent or more intelligent than I am. You never know, I’m probably going to be in this town for another year at least. Maybe he will read The Stranger and Nausea and become my cute little disciple. I’m sure Royce is back from his hiatus in Portland. He never called me. Fucking men.
I don’t know. Martin and Adrien are all the entertainment I have. That’s sad. I need to get out of this town. It’s killing me slowly, every day it gets worse.
I just have to listen to some more Jamiroquai and buy some more technology and hope to feel better. It’s sad that pop music, DDR, gay guys, and microprocessors are the only things to assuage my ennui.
Oh, a song from the new Daft Punk album, “Technologic,” was on one of the new iPod commercials. I want an iPod just because the commercials are so cool. Damn apple and their impeccable marketing strategies.
I’m searching for a song that conveys all of my… essential self. It’s not really happening. The closest I can get it is “Enjoy the Silence” by Depeche Mode. And that just makes me think of one of my exes. Today is not a good day. Perhaps tomorrow will be better. That is the premise of my life right now.
Enjoy the silence.
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