Mom: Tall guys always have big whangers!

Me: Mother, you’re really dating yourself by using that word.

Mom: Well what am I supposed to say, peepee?

Me: Now you sound like a four-year-old.

I don’t know why, but the first ten minutes of work always piss me off. Today’s annoyance: people that write e-mails in all caps, leaving out all words like “and” and “the.”

Is there some sort of world war going on, and we have to make our e-mails seem like we’re screaming coded commands across a battlefield? Fucking imbeciles.

But anyway, work was okay. I went and rode my bike yesterday, which was pretty fun, but I don’t really feel like doing it today. It’s all overcast. I think every minute about how I’m finally leaving this town. It thrills me.

My dad is gone on some trip. He says he has no money to retire, but he’s going on a trip almost every weekend. It’s just lies. He wants to die alone. Well, the CD side of that Fischerspooner CD (#1) was scratched to hell, but there was a DVD side with all sorts of features, including the entire album in high-quality sound, which I’m listening to now. I haven’t gotten past “Sweetness,” but I’m pretty sure the album will be good. I keep typing things. I need to disconnect my keyboard from my computer so I don’t do it.

Netflix is trying to charge me $20 for this DVD that I already returned. Bastards.

I need to do something. I should make dinner or lunch or something. When my dad is gone I like never eat because I’m too lazy to make anything. So then I just eat carrot sticks until I get sick, which is what is happening right now. I called Joe’s cellphone today, and I got a message saying that it was disconnected. Yesterday the message said he was out of the coverage area. Maybe he just ran out of minutes and didn’t know. It was a bit unnerving though. I should call his landline. I’m hungry. I should make food so I am articulate and so this isn’t a monosyllabic rant.

I ended up going to sleep at nine p.m. and waking up at nine-thirty a.m. I definitely caught up on my sleep last night. Well, I’m off to work.