> Dirty Sanchez - Fucking on the Dance Floor
> Human League - The Sound of the Crowd

I must say that the new job is EXCELLENT!!! It’s the perfect balance of computer work and noncomputer work. I really like it, and everyone there seems nice… except for this one guy. But he’s old. And let’s face it: old people are worthless. All they have to do is sit around and be jealous of young people.

The job is going to be on Saturdays from seven to midnight. I’ll make about $80 extra per pay period. That will be nice. I have decided that I have to save up about $2000 before I can leave without being totally freaked out about having nowhere to live and no money.

And this will help me get there even sooner. Tonight I caught a mistake in the work of the new guy at my normal job, and he told me on the phone that he was eternally grateful. He’s hot. I can imagine many ways in which he can express his gratitude.

Oh yeah. *grin*

I have been becoming a porno fiend lately. I have downloaded almost half of the Sean Cody web site. I don’t think it’s really anything to be concerned about. Only the religious right would think that it is, and let’s face it… I do a lot of things that the religious right disapprove of. I’ve watched porn for like, years. I can’t even remember when I didn’t have it. I guess the only catalyst in his recent slew of downloads is my realization that I’ve only filled up half of my 200 Gigabyte drive.

I’m so bored with my existence. But I did have a bit of a break from the ennui today, I cracked open my copy of The Haunting of Hill House and read a few chapters. It’s one of my favorites. I absolutely LOVE that the novel is written from Eleanor’s perspective. I would consent to an enema of live scorpions to just experience Eleanor’s blissful naïveté for an afternoon. It’s just so…cute! If I had the novel with me I would post an excerpt of her internal monologue. Shirley Jackson rocks my crotch.

I don’t want to wake up at 8:40 just so I can be out of the house with an hour to waste so those bastards can look at the house. I want to smear the walls with human excrement. I want to trim the gutters with pig entrails. But I should stop hating, this is boring. Perhaps I should look at the other way: the faster he sells it the faster I have an excuse to leave.

I’m really glad that we have such things like voice recognition. I simply wouldn’t know what to do if I couldn’t write. It’s interesting though… now in my internal monologue I say punctuation like ellipsis out loud.

I should raid the fridge. There’s more work to be done tomorrow. Maybe I’ll pay my mom a surprise visit tomorrow before work, as I will have an hour to waste.

Fuck. I am very exhausted, but I got a lot done today. I bought my hair dye, went down to the DMV and got my new tags, and my mom gave me the money that she promised for my hands free mouse. I now have $500. It’s the beginning of the end: the end of my life in Crescent City. EEK!

And I start my new job today, so I went to the store on the way home and got a nice refreshing IZZE. Me and Joe found them at Ray’s food place a week or so ago, and they are so delicious. The reason I buy them is not just because they are delicious, but because they are actually natural and have all natural ingredients and no high fructose corn syrup. Double delicious. I really should get going. This is going to be the crash course from hell. Wish me luck!

My dad is showing the house tomorrow at 10 a.m., which means I have to get up an hour earlier so that I’m out of the way. I’m not cleaning up my room. Fuck him. I’m so excited about my new job! But at the end of tonight I definitely won’t be excited… I’m going to be tired.

I have noticed another of the things that the Insipid Coworker of Doom does to annoy people. One of my coworkers was asking her what the size of this photo was, and all she could say was how many dpi the photo had. And then, when she was hard-pressed, she said the size in centimeters. Could she be more infuriating? It’s all about the simple things and making them not simple. That’s her subconsious obsession.

Right now it seems like all I do is work and hang out with my mom. It’s a very strange existence, but once it’s over I will be leaving this town for good! And I will be living with the coolest people EVER!

All my long working days I think about hanging around in me and Kelly and Dan’s cool apartment in Sacramento. It’s all that I live for, basically. And for an iPod. But that’s beside the point. I really hope that this second job is lucrative. And easy. But then again I guess that’s what everyone hopes.

I realize now why World War III is being fought in my stomach. I had lasagna tonight. Ingredient number one: ricotta CHEESE. But I did take one of those lactose pills. I guess I should have taken two. Or three. *nuclear stomach gurgle*

I’m going to sleep. I’m going to be so fucking tired tomorrow. But at least I set up my audioblog.

Darius Capulet woke from uneasy dreams one morning to find himself changed into a giant bug.

Double IQ points for those who can tell who I quoted in the last sentence without Googling it.