Things I’ve learned tonight:
1. Mixing unsweetened chocolate and granulated sugar does not make chocolate. I already knew this, but I guess I had to prove it to myself once again. However, when you spread it on toast and dust it with powdered sugar, it makes a tart and delicious chocolatey treat.
2. Watching stupid sci-fi/monster movies until 2 a.m. does not prepare one for the next day.
3. I am totally unprepared for Halloween.
I guess I can throw costume together, but I don’t think there’s anything to do. I’m probably just going to go to work in my normal attire, endure a verbal beating from my boss from some random mistake, do math all day, and go to sleep just as bored and unfulfilled as tonight. If my boss was cool, I would wear a costume, but I can see exactly how it would go. I can see it now. He would call me into his office and tell me that this sort of behavior is was an appropriate. He’d tell me to go home and come back in some more respectable attire. What a fuck. Everyone should die at like, thirty. Correction: every vindictive prick should die at thirty.
In other news, I ordered this black anodized aluminum iPod case. It’s pretty cool.
It’s not tremendously ugly, there’s access to hold switch, and there’s a screen protector. That’s all I really want. And I can finally ditch that ridiculous improvised clear plastic and Scotch tape case I made.
I hate my job. Every few hours I find myself mentally poring over my work I did the previous day, wondering where I made mistakes. I can’t stand this crap. As soon as I finish my math, I’m SO leaving this place. Must keep telling myself that. It’s only a few more months. Only another year. Then I’m gone. My mom said that once I finish my math, we can go to Switzerland. I don’t know whether I’m going to be done by this summer though. I’m going to have to work my ass off. That needs to become my mantra. Finish the math. Get on the plane. Fuck hot Swiss guys. Lather, rinse, and repeat. lol. I need to learn to speak German. Perhaps I should start listening to Rammstein again. Eh, maybe not. Another problem is that I have trained myself to say the German “shite” instead of “shit.” I need to remap it to merde. That would be sexy. Nothing sexier than the French.
I must read a bit more of The Atrocity Exhibition and go to sleep. I didn’t really get into The Atrocity Exhibition. It really has no narrative structures, except similar characters, situations, and themes keep presenting themselves. It’s like he’s presenting 20 different permutations of the same hallucinogenic short story. In the footnotes he explains a lot of the obscure references that I would just have read over. He’s trying to be prophetic, but with all the footnotes he just unravels the whole mystery of everything. I don’t know. Perhaps I should have read a bit more of it before I put it down. And then there are all these disturbing illustrations: one is a cross-section of a woman reaching inside herself, ostensibly to remove her diaphragm. Another is an illustration of the torso of a human body, but in place of all the veins are highways filled with traffic. Words fail to describe them, they are–oddly prophetic. Which is I guess what Ballard was going for. Well, more later.
Categories: Ennui