I am going to be so fucking exhausted this week. I’m too tired to even fire up the voice-rec. Long story short: this week, I’m working full time. 11-3 in town and four-ish to midnight or so at the plant. My god. I don’t know how long I can do this. But I’m going to give it my damndest because I want an Apple Cinema Display before the year is out. [I broke down and started Dragon]
Today I was looking at some reviews of iListen, basically the only voice-rec application for Macs that is currently under development (i.e. they release updates every once in awhile, where ViaVoice is dead, there is no development team working on it). I read this very favorable review of it on Amazon.com, but it made absolutely no mention of the giant in the room (Dragon NaturallySpeaking). He said the software performed well, but he also said that in the demo he used a high-end G5. So I cruised over to eBay and found a disk of the latest version of iListen for like two dollars. True, there was six more days in the auction, but it’s nice to know that the software exists for a low price. I wish I could download it and try it out, but I think that I’m going to have to buy it. I wouldn’t spend much on it, because the only use I will probably get out of it is playing around with it on Kelly’s G5 this Christmas. So my mission is clear: find a cheap copy of iListen, then tested out to see if it is a viable typing alternative on Kelly’s computer. If so, sell the PC and buy a G5. Hella.
Oh, someone made the first bid on my eBay auction! It wasn’t even close to the reserve (only $50), but it was the first one and I was so excited. Possibly by the time I wake up tomorrow there will be another one! Oh! And I got my amazingly cool G5 poster today. It’s not in as pristine condition as the seller would have had me believe, but it will look fine in a poster frame. I saw this one frame that would have gone perfectly with it for $15 at Fred Meyer, but I’m going to see what Wal-Mart has before I make a decision. If Wal-Mart has significantly cheaper ones that are sort of ugly, I will get one and use it for my G4 Cube poster, as I don’t need such an ornate frame. But the G5 poster needs an incredible frame to match its glory.
I can’t wait to get my new iPod. I have everything all loaded in my Apple.com cart. I had it engraved with my web site address instead of my e-mail address this time. I was sort of tempted to do one of the suggested engravings (Music = Life), but I also wanted my name on there and it would have looked a bit retarded. As soon as my eBay auction gets up to $150, I’m ordering the new Pod. I really should order it now, but I’m going to wait until I get paid Wednesday so that my balance doesn’t go under my safety line. I freak out when that happens so it’s better to be chillin’ without a Pod than stressed and with one in the mail. Eh, who am I kidding. I’ll probably order it tomorrow.
With all this work I barely have time to feel anything but loneliness. I have been working so much that I haven’t even had time to go to the store and get shampoo. My hair is so disgusting I want to cry. And I haven’t had time to wash my clothes since I’ve been back. I feel gross and I smell like nail polish remover.
I made the mistake of loading up my Thanksgiving flickr photoset while I was waiting for something at work tonight. The first three went by and wham, I felt like shit. Ugh. I hate my life.
In other news, I’m doing terribly in my math class. With all this work, I don’t feel like I’m going to be able to finish the 2 1/2 chapters that I need to do. I don’t think I’m even going to be able to make it to class this Thursday. I’m going to have to send my teacher an email. I’m so angry at myself because I had like three hours to do math today and all I did was sit around, eat cookies and chocolate, and masturbate. This afternoon was a festival of laziness and hedonism. I’m so sick of feeling tired and that I don’t know what’s going on, both in my work and personal life.
Oh, one of the guys from the plant found my MySpace. He asked me about why I use my pseudonym and such. He showed me this tattoo he had from this band called Him. I didn’t really think much of the band, but I hadn’t heard their stuff either, so I tried my best to sound ambivalent. He seemed like a really great guy, possibly I will send him a message once I emerge from my soon-to-be weeklong coma.
The boss at my new job (god, I can’t remember his name..) I was dreading working with because I worked with him on my first day there and he wasn’t very nice to me at all. However, he was very jovial and was talking nonstop about all sorts of political stuff and his views on things which were totally in sync with what I thought (to a degree). I didn’t say anything and I stayed in my shell, but I loved this guy! I hope he isn’t one of those people where they are in a good mood you know it and they make your life better and when they are in a horrible mood they make your life hell. I guess I’ll find out. I was there until 1:30 a.m. and there were all these problems…god. I must have sounded totally freaking inept. But it was my first day, I have a right to be inept. And everything got DONE. That’s all that matters in my book. The boss (I’ll call him the Foreman for future reference) said something that totally cut through all the bullshit of the company I work for.
“It’s all about communication. Western Communications. It’s in the name, but nobody communicates. I’m the Foreman, and nobody tells me anything. My crew ends up telling me what’s going on.” (I’m paraphrasing) “Nobody tells each other what’s going on. One day you’ll do something and the boss will chew you out for it, the next day you’ll do the same thing and it will be fine. You’ll say ‘Wait, I did that same thing yesterday and you yelled at me,’ but they won’t listen. Then you’ll do that same thing and the next week you get yelled at again.” If only he knew how true that was. “Nobody communicates. They just come in, do their jobs, leave, and hope to god everything’s done right.” SO FREAKING TRUE! That’s exactly how I feel about my job. My idle moments are filled with uncertainty as I try to whether I put a certain thing in a certain folder when I was at work earlier in the day.
To continue that thought about the futility of this company, today my boss told me to omit some names from one of our listings because the person hadn’t lived here in like fifty years or something. I didn’t even say anything. I just smiled and nodded with absolutely no intention of complying. Here’s the Dilbert-esque truth: if I started doing that, then we would eventually get angry calls of “you left out this person or that person” and then when he asked me about it he would give me his “you’re a fucking idiot” look when I try to explain to him that I left out some people because he told me to. I can SO hear his voice in my head. “You left people out? Why?” And in a microsecond it would be my fault. Fuck that. I’m doing it by the book.
So, in conclusion, work is futile, I like my new coworkers, and I’m getting to know Karen a bit more when I talk to her on the phone from my other job. Our convos are completely appropriate and not a waste of company time, I assure you…there’s just some times when a computer freezes and reboots and you just have to sort of sit there and wait, and why not strike up a convo? Life is short.
Goals for tomorrow (achievable):
Buy shampoo
Buy poster frame
Buy dental floss
Goals (borderline achievable):
Call Joe
Reset the port forwarding on my router
Goals (completely fucking rediculous):
Watch the copy of Akira I bought in delicous 7.1 surround sound glory.
Watch any of the movies I rented from Netflix.
Work on Kelly’s web site.
Must sleep. Now.
Categories: Ennui
