the diary of antoine roquentin

> Massive Attack – Five Man Army
> Playgroup – Number One (Black strobe remix)

Tonight I feel like I’m the only person in the world that’s sitting at home Friday night. I just woke up from an extended nap. Why do I keep buying things on the Internet that I don’t need? I shouldn’t have bought that case… I should have saved that money up for my eventual iMac purchase, but that looks further and further away. I mean, I guess I could sell my iPod and my keyboard to get enough money to get it, but then that would be pointless because I wouldn’t have anything to do on my new system. I just have to wait. And I absolutely hate waiting. If I didn’t have such ridiculous amounts of homework to do, I would look into getting a second job. Well, considering that pretty much the only reason that I’m going to college is so that I can afford a Power Mac G5 Quad with two 30″ displays, it should be good that I’m frustrated and unable to buy the computer of my dreams. I hope I get a bunch of money back on my tax returns, that would be sweet.

I guess I was sort of counting on doing something this weekend, but it doesn’t seem to be happening. Oh well. I guess I should watch a movie and stop moping. I’m in the mood for The Professional.

Categories: Ennui

I just found out that the major speech-recognition software for MacOS X, iListen, works on the new Intel-based Macs. (omfg!!!!!) the Intel-based PowerBook of my dreams will soon be mine! WILL they hurry up and ship the 15 in. Macbook and get working on my 12 in. model? Hmm? Time’s a-wastin’!

Categories: Ennui

> Metro Area – Dance Reaction, Machine Vibes
> DJ Fresh – Tomb Raider
> Uberzone – Beat Bionic

Oh. My. God. I just watched Akira Kurosawa’s nearly three hour masterpiece Ran.

It was fucking incredible. EPIC. BEYOND EPIC. There are these incredible scenes where you want to get out of your chair and scream out loud that you want to see it on a big screen. This one scene where he comes out of the castle and it’s burning down… there were no words.

And just when I think no one can ever spin Shakespeare in a way that hasn’t been done before. God. For a movie that was made in 1985, it was absolutely flawless. As much as I can appreciate what modern special effects can do, I also feel that it makes a film look cheap. CGI requires no imagination and it never looks real. I just can’t put into words how blown away I was by this film. Akira Kurosawa is a genius.

In other news, I broke down and bought a new case for my computer. I still can’t tell whether I’m actually building a new system or upgrading my current one, but it will definitely be an upgrade no matter what because my new case shouldn’t sound like a 747 is taking off in my bedroom.

I know that the picture makes it look like the new one has giant fans (and it does), but it will be much much quieter than my current one because giant fans can spin much slower and push the same amount of air through a system as my 8 tiny fans. I should have gotten a new power supply as well, but I just can’t afford it right now. I think that I am slowly but surely building a new system. Emphasis on slowly.

Now I’m feeling like buying my keyboard was a mistake. Fuck it. I’m going to play it right now. And then I’m going to write that one-page essay for cinema. Oh! I did my first computer-generated map at work using my tablet. I surreptitiously moved Illustrator from the 400MHz PowerMac G4 that I do most of my work on to the now vacated photo computer, a 1.8GHz PowerMac G5 (read: Ford Fiesta vs. Porsche). I put on some music (Metro Area, hella) and whipped out that graphic in like an hour and a half when it normally takes me three hours. For one, I was working on that incredibly fast computer (no waiting two seconds for every thing that I draw to appear on the screen) and two I was using my tablet which allows me to just draw on the screen like I would draw on a piece of paper. I was absolutely astounded at how quickly I finished it and how my wrists didn’t hurt at all. Not to mention that I discovered all these new tools that I had been overlooking before.

That band Metro Area is also rocking my crotch. I’ve been listening to it all day. It’s this succulent alchemy of disco, eighties pop, and electronica… but it’s so low-key and chill that you just want to lie back in your chair, close your eyes, and sway back and forth in your chair. Ahh…*sways*

I really don’t want to write that essay. I really should get started though. I’ve noticed that doing homework with voice-recognition is 10 times easier than typing. When I use my voice-recognition, I just verbally explain to the teacher the answer to their questions, and it types it out. Could I get any lazier? Only time will tell.

Categories: Ennui

Categories: Ennui

> Lacquer -Sweet Forever Sixteen
> Ladytron – Jet Age

Me and Brian broke up today. It turns out he just didn’t want to talk to me yesterday, so he had his employees say that he wasn’t there. Now isn’t that the mature thing to do?

I’m talking to Phoenix Wang, my friend from China. He’s going back to school tomorrow, and I’m talking with him about laptops, cinema, and divorce. His parents are getting divorced, and he’s saying that the Western ideal of marrying for love instead of tradition is beginning to permeate the culture there. Interesting.

I’m so glad I didn’t have my psychology class today, I was dreading it ever since I got out of bed. I brought my tablet to work and got a whole bunch of stuff done with our database. Working with the database requires that you click nonstop, and I just can’t do it with a mouse. I think I have to do this graphic tomorrow. Honestly, I fucking hate doing them even though they are one of the few creative things that I get to do there. I think I’m going to bring in my iPod and listen to music while I’m doing it. Fuck ‘em. Music helps me be creative.

I have been drooling over PowerBooks on eBay yet again and it’s infuriating that I have enough money to buy one but I can’t because I need to be responsible. And Apple is totally going to come out with the Intel-based versions that will knock the socks off of the PowerPC-based ones. One thing’s for sure. I really need to cancel my Netflix. $17 a month so I can watch like one movie a month and have four sitting there waiting? Fuck that. I just downgraded to a plan that costs $12 a month. Much better. I have this huge stack of movies that I’m not going to have time to watch for awhile. I had plans to watch Dirty Pretty Things tonight, but I decided to look at some softcore porn for a few hours instead.

It’s 10 o’clock. I did read a chapter in my psychology book, but unless I do some other homework item I’m going to feel like I wasted tonight. I should write that one-page essay about that movie we watched in cinema class. Hell, it’s only one page. I wonder if he means doublespaced or not. I hate that… it’s such a Catch-22 when teachers don’t specify. Either you doublespace it and get accused of trying to weasel your way out of work or you single space it and write this dense block of text that’s impossible to read. But then again, this quandary is about on par with the endless human crisis that led to the invention of the blue bristles on the toothbrush.

I hate to admit it, but I’m rarely playing my keyboard at all. I really don’t know what the reason is. One possibility is that I don’t have a music stand so I can’t easily put sheet music to play in front of me. A second reason is that the piano program eats up all my RAM and I can’t do anything else on my system when I’m using it. The third reason is that I perpetually have a bunch of homework to do, and I surf the Internet between assignments because it requires absolutely no concentration.

I have been wanting a new computer, but I have to accept the reality that I can’t afford a span of a week or two in which I am unable to access a computer. I need to be able to write term papers and such. In some ways, it’s disappointing, but there’s nothing else I can do. I’ve just got to put money in the bank for a sweet Intel-based PowerBook and wait for someone to figure out how to run windows on them.

I feel odd tonight. I feel… unfulfilled. And I also feel lazy because I haven’t done any work on my biology. And I also feel guilty because I can’t stop surfing the Internet. OK, I just installed Microsoft Word so that I could type of my notes. I know I’m not going to get anything done now. It’s 10:34 PM. I should watch that movie. At least I will have accomplished something.

Today’s chai count: 3

Categories: Ennui