> Depeche Mode - The Things You Said
> Ladytron - Seventeen
> Client - Radio
> Lacquer - Behind
> M.I.A. - Amazon

I’m over on Adrian’s 1.5 GHz Mac Mini at his house. Last night we slept in his basement. I thought it would be quite uncomfortable, but the prospect of spending the night with him was too much to pass up. We woke around three (my cell phone alarm had been going off since 11 a.m.) and it was so nice to be with him, notwithstanding the pretzel-like position I’d fallen asleep in.

We snuck out to my car and went over to my grandma’s so I could shower and such, then we went in search of some Substance D (coffee) at Starbucks. I had a grande chai, which made me at least somewhat awake, and we drove back and forth down Fair Oaks and Manzanita…doing a bunch of things. Adrian got a haircut and it looks incredibly cute (I’ll post pictures later), and we found out when the happy hour is at the coffee place on that intersection (11 a.m.-2 p.m.) They supposedly have $1 coffee during that time.

The Goodwill was next on the agenda, but I really didn’t want to go in there because I knew I’d spend a bunch of money. We checked to see what was playing at the theatre, but it was Mission Impossible: III, Ice Age IV, Fast and the Furious XII, Speed XVIII, and a whole bunch of others.

Come on, Hollywood, can we please just make one movie per plot? Why do we have to keep recapitulating the same plots over and over again? And if you are going to make the same movie endlessly, can you at least do us the service of changing the title from time to time?

Anyway, we went back to Adrian’s house after the haircut and finished watching Sneakers. Adrian is on the bed reading an old XY, I believe. We’ve been together for two days straight, and he’s not getting on my nerves at all. It’s like we’re old friends…odd. I dunno, I guess in my old age I’m much more laidback than I was back in my teens…endlessly overanalyzing everything and insisting on these unrealistic and quixotic definitions of “love” that were nothing more than pop song lyrics.

On an unrelated note, I installed this hack for Wordpress (the software that powers all that you see when you’re at my blog) that allows my blog to use AJAX. If you’re not a member of the Web 2.0 cognoscenti, AJAX is a package of technologies that basically allow you to use web applications and such without refreshing your web page. For example, a simple implementation would be on a form that specified a location. The first box, you would indicate “USA”, then the next box would fill with the states in the US, and when you selected that, it would immediately have all the counties or some such thing, much faster than reloading the whole page. Does that sort of make sense? Well, if you want to try it out, click on the title for this post. Instead of the whole page reloading, just the center frame will show a small “loading” graphic and then the correct post will be loaded. Simple, eh?

I like it. It makes the user experience just that little bit cooler. If you have any problems (i.e. it doesn’t work or is lame) I’ll remove it, I just thought it was cool.

Before we went back to Adrian’s house, we went to Safeway (I was going to get some orange juice for the house), but instead we were feeling pretentious and got caviar and crackers. Went back to his house and tried it out. Neither of us had never had caviar before, but it wasn’t too bad at all. In fact, I rather liked it. We kept joking about how even though we were poor, we would live with the luxuries of life and none of the necessities.

I took a bunch of pictures over the last few days and I need to upload them, but I can’t seem to find my camera’s USB cable. I think I left it plugged in to my computer at home.

Sunday was incredibly cool!

The day before, Christen called and told me that they were at Trash ‘Till Dawn, this version of Trash Film Orgy where they watch terrible movies all night (and of course yell at the screen). I was excited and called Adrian to see if he wanted to go, but we both had to get up early the next day so he told me he was going to call me and wake me up in the morning.

Around 11 a.m., my phone rang. I showered, donned my suit and favorite tie, and jumped into the car. I took the Fair Oaks to J Street route to downtown, and picked Adrian up outside the Starbucks across from the Hard Rock Cafe, attached to the Downtown Plaza shopping mall. I was fresh, awake, and ready to do things in the a.m…something that doesn’t happen too often in Dariusville.

Adrian suggested that we go to the Crocker Art Museum, as it has free admission in the morning and early afternoons. I was definitely up for it, and to my glee they had an M.C. ESCHER EXHIBIT! I was SO excited. The rest of the art was a bit banal, but the Escher work was incredible. I have loved M.C. Escher for ages, I had his print Relativity (below) framed in my room for ages. Anyway, it was really fun. They even had a room dedicated to modern art, which I adore.

After that we went down to the river and walked around down there, across trestles and overpasses, and through the quaint streets of Old Sacramento. I took a whole bunch of pictures.

Me and Adrian were sitting on a bench outside the candy store when this old, affluent-looking woman came up to us. “Are you guys Mormons?” she asked us. “No,” Adrian replied. “What are you…in a band? gay?” “Oh, I get it…you’re vampires…out in suits in this heat…” Adrian tried to explain that we were just dressed well, and she couldn’t seem to understand how he made money (he’s a writer).

It was so freaking funny. She was drunk as hell and her husband was orbiting, completely embarrassed. In a few minutes, her daughter came to retrieve her, and they ambled away, with some dignity left. She did say that we were cute though, it was a nice (but odd) ego boost.

We went into the candy store and sampled some taffy (I’m a man who enjoys his taffy), and then had a few chocolate-covered grasshoppers (Adrian totally emasculated this guy who was hesitant about eating one). I had one too…it was..er…crunchy.

We walked back across the bridge, down the river (past this terribly ugly abandoned office building), and back to the car. We went back to Carmichael and ended up hanging out at Kelly’s house for a while.

I was really tired so we went back over to Adrian’s and started watching Sneakers. The DVD was scratched…and we got distracted ;) so we ended up investigating his basement as a possible nocturnal lair (his parents are a bit odd sometimes about me staying the night). As it came time to go to sleep, we took our things down there, cuddled up on a sleeping bag on top of a mostly flat beanbag chair, and fell fast asleep.

I had some really strange dreams last night…I dreamt that I was dating this intravenous drug addict and I dreamt that Kevin had this house all wired with cameras everywhere and he was dealing hash to this extremely fat guy that had two faces. I’m not sure why I’m all of the sudden having these vivid dreams, but I’m not complaining. They are at least interesting. I’m going to get dressed and either work on getting my car smogged or work on getting a job (hopefully both).

I have found my new god.

His name is Erlend Øye.

I must buy his CD immediately!

> Sneaker Pimps - Low Five
> New Order - True Faith
> ATB - Ecstasy (I always listen to this one when I’m thinking of Adrian)
> Massive Attack - Risingson (this is right now my favorite song)
> Orbital - Lost
> Depeche Mode - Suffer Well
> Cardigans - Erase / Rewind
> Antonio Vivaldi - Concerto In F Minor, `winter`, Rv 297- III - Allegro

I had a wonderful time last night. Me and Adrian carried the Mac Mini out to this little building near the pool out behind his house and we watched Babylon 5 well into the morning. We fell asleep out there on a makeshift mattress.

I had the oddest dreams. In one, I was rocking out to Oakenfold as me and Adrian and a few other people were flying around on this mass transit device that looked like a flying seat on an amusement park ride.

I did, however, have one unsettling dream. In it, I was kissing a guy. I don’t know who they were supposed to be…he looked vaguely like Patrick (who, I heard from Kelly, stopped talking to me years ago because I made fun of the fact that his boyfriend was Catholic? I so don’t remember that). Anyway, I was making out with this guy and I kept pushing him away saying “This is wrong. This is wrong. I already have someone.” But for the life of me I couldn’t remember who it was that I felt so deeply for. It was terrible mostly because Adrian told me a few days ago that he thinks I’m going to cheat on him. I must admit, I am quite lascivious. But come on. Adrian is the first guy I’ve ever met that I felt proud to be with. I want to introduce him to everyone I know, to tell everyone how I feel like I’ve never met anyone remotely like him. I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else. That dream was terrible. It was a dream of the end of everything…where I couldn’t even remember what it felt like to be with him. I hate my memory. Right now I can still feel him. I can feel his kiss goodbye, picture his smile and his laugh and his dimples and his “get me my coaaaaaa@t!” and his “there will be none of this” and his “penny for your thoughts” and all the faces he makes, but in a few days it’ll all seem darker. I won’t be able to picture him…by the third day I’ll have to look at his pics on my Flickr account and iChat A/V with him to remember his voice. That dream scared me. A day when I won’t remember what it felt like to hold him? That would make me quite melancholy.

Sorry for that downer, but I had to write about it. Can’t let things fester. I just love being around him…he’s funny, sexy, and quite cuddly. His ex Victor called when we were indisposed, and I felt this pang of…I’m not sure what it was…that I would be on his caller ID in a similar situation. I shouldn’t think about such things.

Is it shortsighted to just pay attention to how I feel right now? I’m not quite sure. But there is one thing I am sure of: I love hanging out with him, and no matter if it hurts, I still want to be his friend if we do go our separate ways. I just…can’t imagine not being able to be with him. Kelly was telling me that when she hangs out with Dan (her old boyfriend…they went out for two years or so) she has the instinct to reach over and hold his hand. I hate those kinds of things…the subconsious things you used to do together. I know I would get the impulse to do something like that, and the realization would shoot through me. No. It’s over.

Am I just being gloomy? It’s just that I’m extremely happy right now, and a situation where I’m not this happy fills me with dread. The auto repair place they took my car to yesterday was right down the street from the Hagen’s Orange Freeze where Taggart dumped me. People were sitting on the benches, happily munching down on junk food. I wanted to run across the street and scream “GET AWAY! No one can ever be happy on this spot ever!” It was quite childish, but I felt it anyway.

I feel exactly what Kelly felt when she wanted to make a list of all the things that reminded her of Justin and burn them. Sacramento is littered with wisps of meaning that remind me of Adrian now. Weeks ago, when me and Katie went to the club and I left a voicemail to invite him, I kept looking through the crowd, hoping they would part and there he would be. I compared it to the omnipresence of Vaughn in J.G. Ballard’s novel Crash. He is the city…the endless motorways and feeder roads around London Airport. He was the god of the city and everything that took place he seemed to have a hand in, always in the background. In that moment I felt like Adrian was my Vaughn…possibly omnipresent and mysterious. I don’t quite feel that way now, but almost everything in Carmichael could remind me of him. Hmm.

Oh, my passport showed up today! The photo looks terrible, but it’s covered in so many glows-under-UV-light super-tamper-proof seals that the picture seems more an afterthought than anything. I love my mom so much. She also sent in the package (I wasn’t sure where I’d be living in six months, so I had it sent to her address) a day planner to help me get organized and get a job. She’s so cool. Oddly, I haven’t heard much from her. I left voicemails but got no response. I feel like she’s mad at me for not being gainfully employed, but the only way to remedy that is to do what I’m going to do tomorrow: seriously job-shop.

My grandma spent close to $500 getting my car roadworthy again, and I’m not going to let that money go to waste. I’m going to be a friggin’ productive member of society whether I like it or not.

I have such pain in my wrists, but I had to write anyway…I need to take my Mac over to Adrian’s so I can wipe the hard drive and restore from my image (using FireWire disk mode). I could do it myself if Apple hadn’t shipped a version of Disk Utility with a bug on it on the DVDs that came with my Mac. Anyway, once I get voice-rec back I’m going to be writing my usual endless banters about nothing, but the important thing is that they will cause me no wrist pain.

Absolutely no one is online. Adrian, Noah, Josh, and Kieth (my top four IM buddies) are all either offline or mobile. I don’t know what’s going on with Josh…he seems distant and keeps signing off in the middle of conversations. Maybe he’s mad at me. I guess all I do is talk to him about Adrian, which probably angers him. I guess he always did have more than a sexual crush on me. Still, I miss talking to him and wish he would sign back on.

Speaking of that, I had been meaning to write a post where I discuss what happened with every guy I’ve ever slept with. Not like that…I mean, Adrian was musing that night that I posted that spreadsheet that I wasn’t friends with most of the people I’d slept with, and I guess that’s true…but…well…I blame that on the fact that most of the guys I don’t talk to any more hurt me terribly: Richard and Taggart or who I only went to bed with out of desperation: Jordan and Thomas.

Hm. I miss Mindy. I should write her an email.