> Madonna - Burning Up, Think of Me, You Know It,
> Deep Dish - Sacramento, Say Hello [rock mix], Swallow Me

I’m feeling a bit odd this morning… mostly because I’m awake in the a.m. I’ve been endlessly listening to Madonna’s first album. Pop music never changes. Her songs are as true now as in 1983.

I’m eating a banana, and I’m not sure whether it’s spoiled or not. It doesn’t taste wonderful, but it’s not bad enough to throw out. I had a bowl of cereal with regular milk and now my stomach hurts. Maybe my stomachache is the results of last night. I couldn’t sleep because I kept thinking about me and Adrian. It was the first time in days I had slept without him and it just felt terrible. On the bed was the very first time that I held him. However, he called me this morning to wake me up and we talked on iChat A/V for a bit. I know that I should be ravenously hunting a job, but I just feel tired. I guess I should have some tea after all.

I’m a bit distraught today… I had all of these weird, crazy dreams about college because I read a few chapters of a new Bret Easton Ellis novel that Kelly lent me, The Rules of Attraction, before I went to sleep. These Madonna songs are all about relationship problems. I should listen to something more upbeat. I’m feeling like some Deep Dish.

Kelly and Christen were talking to me last night when I was over at their house about all of the drama relating to their guys and I couldn’t help but think out loud, “what’s the point?” In the old days, it was all about courtship leading to a long, boring marriage. And now? What validity does marriage have a social institution anyway? Almost everyone I know has been divorced. All this endless drama… the text messages, the exes, dating, money, arguments, miscommunications… is it all worth it? Do we have to just accept from the media that our sole purpose in life is to find somebody that we will get along with forever? Why can’t we find a better way to live?

I think that’s just Bret Easton Ellis talking. I don’t like the way he portrays his characters. It’s almost as if they are machines. They want sex and drugs and nothing else. And they never feel bad about anything… they never hesitate. They can’t stop the downward spiral. Wow, I really am in a dark mood today. I need some Earl Grey to perk me up.