The Diary of Antoine Roquentin

(I spent a half-hour painstakingly editing this post and then for some reason all my edits disappeared, so fuck it. This is as good as it gets.)

It’s midnight and I’m listening to the Blade Runner soundtrack yet again.

Yesterday was… interesting, to say the least. I got to work late, although I did take the new mass transit route and it’s not shady. The light rail stop that I get on at the University, so hopefully there will be a gaggle of college coeds to protect me from black people.

Well, I think I got off at the wrong stop yesterday. Everyone seemed to be getting off the bus at the University, and I thought the light rail station was really close… but I soon realized that I had no idea how to navigate the campus, and eventually just came back and took another bus to get sort of close to my work. I had been exchanging text messages with Adrian the whole day, and we agreed to meet. I left work early and took the light rail to near the library, where he was. I have to say, I got really lost again. There are no street signs anywhere. I was going to ask somebody which way J Street was, but that would have been the most obvious “I’m not from around here” things. I managed to get ahold of Adrian and we ended up walking up to each other on the street talking on the phone. We ended up meeting near a park, so we went and sat down on the edge of this large fountain.

It was nice to see him again, he looked very refreshed. We talked for a while at the fountain, and then began to walk to this focus group that Adrian had to go to. We had originally planned to get lunch, but there just wasn’t time. I wasn’t close to any bus lines that I knew went anywhere, so I just walked from sixth to Alhambra (20 or so blocks) to take a bus back to CSUS. By then it was about 5:30 and was completely dark. I bought some soy milk at the Alhambra Safeway and waited for the bus. As I saw the number 30 approach, Adrian called and told me that he had just gotten out of his focus group. I wanted to see him, so he took another number 30 and I got on at the Alhambra stop. For the second time in the day, we walked up to each other both talking on the phone to each other. A few people on the bus gave us odd looks as the two conversations blended together and we closed our phones.

We got off the bus at CSUS (California State University Sacramento, for the uninitiated), and proceeded to try and find the light rail stop. I had seen it from the train, and I remembered there were mall-looking buildings and lots of colored lights from stores. As we were walking, we happen to see a poster saying that Oliver Stone was giving a lecture that very night in about a half-hour. Well, of course we had to go. We wandered around the campus for about 20 minutes, joking that we were trying to fit in on a parallel Earth just like the characters from Sliders. We did end up finding the one campus directory on the entire property, and found the hall that the lecture was in. Adrian used his credentials as an American River reporter to get us free passes (a $40 value), and we sat down for the lecture. I studiously took notes to keep up the façade that I was a reporter. I have scanned them in for your pleasure.

After that, we tried for about a half-hour to find the light rail station, to no avail. We got so lost on that campus I have no idea how we got out alive. Adrian, remembered that one of his friends worked at the multicultural Center at the college, which we were in front of. This nice lady gave us directions, and after about 15 minutes of walking in what seemed like the complete wrong direction, we reached this little pathway to the station. It was totally hidden and there were no signs… it’s a miracle we found it. But that isn’t even the start of the miracles. As we got closer to the station, we sought to buses. Light rail wasn’t going to get us anywhere close to where we needed to go, but maybe one of the buses would.

The whole time, I had wanted to go back to the front of the college (wherever it was) and catch the 82 that goes right by my house. By sheer force of luck, there was an 82 idling there at the light rail station right as we showed up. We boarded and asked the bus driver how we could get back to me and Adrian’s house (the Fair Oaks / Manzanita area). He said that we could take his bus and then take another bus when we got to El Camino. We were the only ones on the bus, and halfway there the driver said over the PA that he had radioed ahead to let the other bus know to wait for us. He even gave us transfers! That night I regained a lot of my faith in the human race. If he wouldn’t have done that, we would have had to walk from Country Club Plaza. Actually, I probably would have just stayed on the 82 and then slept in Kelly’s lawn (it goes to American River College).

We got some food at Safeway, and then collapsed in his room. It felt so nice after all that time to just snuggle up and eat some sourdough bread and soy milk and watch Family Guy. I stayed the night at his place and we woke up all snuggled and warm the next day, with Zen curled up on the side of the bed. It was a chilly November day, but it made me feel hopeful and happy for some odd reason. Even though was cold, you reminded me of all the times that we had come down to Sacramento for Thanksgiving and how great that was. Today was a day where you just wanted to snuggle up with an affable boy and watch Family Guy. I had to walk home, which was less than pleasurable (extremely cold with heavy backpack), but my days of walking are numbered. My dad is bringing my bike and I’m going to be loving life.

When I was downtown, there was this extremely depressing moment when I realized that I didn’t have enough money on me to take a bus home. It was the feeling where you know it will take six hours to walk home and that you have so we have defined in ATM or you are just…dead. I promised myself that I would buy a transit pass as soon as I got home. However, I don’t really have enough money for that right now. I’m going to go to the bank tomorrow and get about 20 bucks in ones. That should tide me over until I get paid next.

Also, when I was wondering around I was really wanting to buy a Vespa or some other kind of scooter so that I would never be lost without transportation again. I’ve done a considerable amount of research tonight, and the cheapest vespa is about $3,000. Honda makes these Metropolitan brand mopeds that look really stylish and would be perfect for my needs and are around $2000. They had financing, but it was like 20%. Once I pay off my debts (this month, surely), I’m going to start saving up. I have my heart set on a black MacBook for a portable and an iMac with a huge display for a primary machine. It’s a hard choice… a 24″ iMac or a moped? well, this whole decision is moot until I actually have the money, so I will save it until then. But mark my words, I HATE public transit and I’m going to do anything to get some form of motorized conveyance.

I had planned to get to sleep early tonight, but you all know how that goes. At least all my clothes are washed and I have money for transit both ways to work tomorrow. It’s going to feel so wonderful to be in the black again! I will be all established and ready to start school! Also, I filled out the FAFSA a few days ago. I hope that gives me some money. I mean, I’m friggin’ dirt poor. I’ll net maybe $7,000 a year. I’ll say that’s a bit below the poverty line. Anyway, I’d better get some damn grant money *pouts* because I get much better grades than some of the people feeding off of the federal teat in Crescent City.

All right, I’m off to bed. I have to be refreshed and ready to work tomorrow.