Let me count the ways.

1) The prospect of getting a car seems more and more unlikely as my dad is unwilling to pay the market value of any car.

2) My stupid drunken family members won’t leave and there’s nowhere I can go to escape them since I have no car.

3) Kelly isn’t going to be over tonight because Grammie says we “don’t have enough food.” It’s such a copout. Fuck them all. She has more money than God. The least she could do would be to get another fucking turkey.

4) Today sucks because I’m probably not going to see Kelly or Kathy, the only family down here that I really give a flying shit about.

5) I can’t get presents for anyone because I have no money.

6) Did I mention I hate my family?

Can’t we just call the whole thing off?

Man, I’m so depressed I’m buying my smartphone. Now.