So…me and Christen were hanging out at True Love after classes today and Adrian and Tod (who I thought had like, destroyed Adrian’s faith in love or something) called…and we went to see Pan’s Labyrinth…
It was such a clusterfuck. Every word he said pissed me off. I am just so sick of his faux professional air. He really thinks he is this attractive, urbane, and cultured. I really just wanted to laugh in his face and say “you look homeless and pregnant.”
It was really anomalous what Tod and him were doing. I thought they hated each other and now they are best friends? Adrian sure painted a different picture when we were dating.
I was dressed hella scene today and he gave me this condiscending look…I’m like, dude, you have no idea how to have fun. And I know that this whole thing was a big farce to create drama out of nothingness and by writing this I’m letting him win because he’s got to me but I really don’t care.
Screaming the Dresden Dolls with Christen on the way home, I was totally in “fuck everyone” mode. I’m still in it, eating Dum Dum pops and wanting badly to fuck that guy in the tweed coat who I was eyeing but didn’t make a move on.
I am either reading too much Bret Easton Ellis or not enough. The Rules of Attraction is fucking intense though. I am in love with how fake everyone is. Well, love is a strong word…it just rings really true.
Not being around Adrian for so long makes me realize how he is just going nowhere with his life. I feel such a sense of purpose going to school and working…it gives me satisfaction. I think that’s how I differ from him. Maybe I’m selling my soul to the establishment, but I like my life now.
After the movie (which incredible but HELLA depressing…me and Christen were crying as we left the theatre), Adrian (snide as hell) was all “so, what’s your take on the movie?” I was all “I just want to fucking kill myself now!” and he was all “How is that different from any other day?”
You know what the difference is?
I’m not with him.
And Adrian, what was the fucking point of that?
You wouldn’t give my friends the time of day, what makes you think I’m going to fall in love with those assholes?
Will you please just stop being fake?
Christ.
I applaud your wonderful writing.