the diary of antoine roquentin

It seems like the barbarians are at the gate lately…in the same week, my wiki and blog go down. The wiki was a relatively simple fix, although it did take time. My blog’s issue was completely out of my control. It was my hosting company’s fault. According to the email the tech sent me, it really is barbarians. Someone launched a DoS attack against the server my site is on, and they had been battling it for a week or two…that’s why it was down intermittently lately and why it went down completely this week.

For those not in the know, a denial of service attack is not really a hack…it simulates the effect of a bunch of computers accessing the same page over and over, blowing through the server’s bandwidth.

I’m rather suspicious, but am writing it off as idle paranoia.

I’m at the Starbucks on Alhambra, waiting out a rainstorm. This place is open until one, so fuck the rain. I’m also hoping to meet a cool guy I met recently, but he hasn’t responded to my aim messages yet. I simply must get waterproof pants and a waterproof jacket. I HATE riding in the rain though…all the cars sliding around everywhere…it makes me hella nervous.

Especially because it was pouring when I had my first car accident.

Categories: Ennui

I feel like my intelligence is slipping away. I don’t find myself tactful…or that I have anything interesting to say.

It’s been so damn long since I’ve read a novel.

I stopped exercising months ago.

I’m going to try and stop this trend.

But is it inevitable?

The plain old truth is that I just don’t care about any of the things that should be important. All I feel is vaguely lonely and like I’m trying to recapture a bygone era…the time when Kelly lived at her mom’s and all these cool things seemed to happen.

I guess my universe just seems rather dull.

Categories: Ennui

I woke up today, met Rosemary, went to class, and there was the panel in our human sexuality class. It was the women’s panel that day, so all these girls got up there and answered all the questions that people in the class asked. Most of them were retarded questions asked by the obnoxious group of black guys in the back, but on the whole, it was rather interesting. I’m thinking of volunteering for the gay/lesbian/bisexual panel…I want to, but I would have to be like “no questions from the back row.” I should email her.

Okay, email sent.

After that I drove home and went inside…my drunken uncle John was there, and I said hi to him. I went into my room, and saw the card Patrick had sent me sitting on my keyboard (my grandma puts all my mail there). Right as I was opening it, I heard a soft knock at my door, and it was my grandma. “John’s on a rampage today…he’s going crazy…I’m going to go in my room.”

Um.

What do you say to that? I had stuff to do today, so I got all my clothes together to be washed. “Rampage. Rampage? What crap,” I mumbled to myself, and went out there with my thing of clothes. I went into the garage and was measuring out the detergent when I hear *thump* *thump* *thump* (door opens) John’s voice: “You need to get out of my house!” and the automatic garage door starts churning. “Oh…it’s you,” he says. I went back into my room and even though I’m hella hungry, I am SO not going out there again.

Well, maybe when I’m much hungrier.

Categories: Ennui

Annie just sent me this picture.

The message was “Do you recognize this guy?”

I guess I thought this would be self-explanatory, but guys…this is Andrew.

Categories: Ennui

I’m feeling that sort of tightness in your sinuses that signals the beginning of an epic sickness.

Or maybe I’m just feeling down this week. I’m rather hungry…and rather bored, but I can’t leave the house. It looks SO bleak outside. I need to go do something though. Maybe I’ll go play DDR. But I went there like two days ago and there were all these annoying bratty kids there and I couldn’t play.

I need to read something. I need to steal Rosemary’s copy of The Bell Jar. I’ve been talking to this random guy from Arizona (not Keith, he is never random!) and he was talking about loving Sylvia Plath, who Rosemary loves.

I don’t know if I like Shiny Toy Guns…I like about half of We Are Pilots…but they just seem painfully bland. Or maybe it’s just that every band I hear in Hot Topic I can’t help but have doubts about.

Zomg, I saw Becky today at school! I had totally forgotten about going to TFO with her…lol.

Why does it have to be so cold out? I hate being cold. I want to move to the center of the Earth.

Well, it doesn’t seem like it’s going to rain. I should get going to the coffee shop.

Categories: Ennui