the diary of antoine roquentin

I’m on the bus and this theSTART song reminded me of this adorable dream I had last night.

In the dream, my long-time crush Royce came over to my house and we acted like we had been dating for a long time because he looked so happy to see me, and we cuddled for the rest of the dream.

:)

I actually caught the earlier bus today, so I feel like I’m on the right track towards being productive. I guess.

Categories: Ennui

Christen got her tattoo today!

It is the first of three sections, and it looks SOOOO fucking cool! I went with her and played photographer / heater adjuster.

Overview

Detail

Arm

Before

I can’t wait to get my first one, but I’m still up in the air as to what I want to get.

You can see the whole process at my tattoo tag on Flickr.

Categories: Ennui

I’m chillin’ outside my human sexuality class…I feel like everybody is staring at me, and not in a good way.

I got up extremely early this morning…I don’t think all of my systems are on-line.

I don’t know why I feel so self-conscious.

Assholes from the class before mine are crowding around.

I need to get a full-length mirror so I’m not so unsure of how I look.

There are so many eligible boys here…I feel inadequate.

These ghetto fat white girls are smoking and slowly covering me in ash.

Just call me Pompeii.

Oh, I see Christen!

Categories: Ennui

Well, I have had a pretty disappointing morning. I woke up feeling like I was totally dead after last night’s revelry. It was so fun, but… yeah, I don’t feel too good today.

I miss my bus, but the part for my car that I wanted showed up. So of course I went out there this morning and tried to attach it. One end of the hose is in an easily accessible place, but the other side I can only get to with like half of one hand, and the hose will not attach. If I just had some leverage I could jam it onto the thing, but the battery is in the way. I might have to take it out to gain some leverage. I tried, but the bolts holding the battery down are stripped. I just don’t have the patience for a project of this scale today. I should have sold it when I had the chance.

Me and Christen were going to have the most productive day ever yesterday. We went to our human sexuality class, and didn’t feel like going to any of the others so we went out and Christen got her taxes done, and then we went to get me tested. I’ve been very apprehensive about the whole thing, but I have to do it. They said I had to come back on Thursday. After that, we sort of wandered around downtown on foot, stopping in at the beautiful cathedral.

Since we’re both atheists, we marveled at the architecture and then lit a candle to find a hot guy. Sure enough, a hot guy came in as we were leaving and did the holy water crossing yourself thing. “I want to do that!” Christen said, and she did the holy water crossing yourself thing. As soon as we left, we couldn’t stop laughing.

We walked up towards the AT&T Building, past the Sheraton, and as we were passing the convention center, our friend Annie that we had met at True Love rode up on her bike.

We chatted for a while and then agreed to meet later at True Love for the open mike night that they were having. Me and Christen wandered down J street, stopping at The Beat, and then at Infusion for a while. We got food there and sat in the hanging bubble chairs. We exchanged credit cards to prevent shopping, and walked down through the shady area near the Crest to the downtown mall.

We succeeded in not buying anything but Jamba Juice, and then started a long walk back to the car. After that, we picked up Annie and then went to hang out with Christen’s friend Gabe. Christen was sort of trying to set Annie and Gabe up…but I’m not sure it worked. They were like, trying to out-occult each other…it was the psychic equivalent of the classic geek exchanges “Well I was on the ‘net in 1981 on a punchcard computer.” We went and played pool (and drank) at the Doubletree Hotel, and then we went to TGI Friday’s and had appetizers, then we went back to Annie’s house and did more Ouija Board stuff. The only way the night would have been better would have been if my phone hadn’t been dead, but that was my fault, I had forgotten to charge it the night before.

I must shake off this hung over and blank mood and try my hardest to get to work. I’m going to eat and go to work then come home and try my darndest to get that stupid hose onto the thing. Also, I need to get Band-Aids…cars have sharp parts :(

It was definitely a night to remember.

Check out my downtown tag for a bit of where we went (I took these the day before yesterday).

Categories: Ennui

Me and Christen had this long talk at Denny’s…and I feel SO depressed.

Another night that I didn’t do my math homework.

I did some good work today, but I felt unproductive.

I walked around downtown hoping I would meet some, maybe run into a friend, even an enemy…I miss people that loved me.

I think a lot about Ripley these days. I don’t know…maybe it’s just that we only dated for a few days, but…like…he’s in my perfect moment. I’m sure I’ve written about this before…that game of tag at KidTown like two years ago…or much longer than that…now Misty and Selena are pregnant, everyone is gone. I haven’t heard from Joe in ages. I was going to call him today, but I was like “what if he blows me off?” that will be so depressing! I hope that’s not true.

I just don’t want to like, date anyone ever again. I just can’t stop thinking about AIDS. Everybody and their fucking brother has AIDS. I really want to like, become a eunuch or take some kind of sex drive killing drug. I mean, after sex, what is there? I want to strip away all the veneer and get to living, like the Blue chick.

I shouldn’t be so depressed.

I did do something really fun this week!

While I was waiting for the bus at Country Club, I went to the bowling alley and played a shitload of Dance Dance Revolution, and I was the MASTER! I also did the gayest thing ever: dancing to this cover of “Toxic.” lol

But yeah. I think I will be hella less depressed once I have transportation.

Maybe.

Categories: Ennui