I just finished redesigning Cracked LCD, the site that goes on my business cards.
Visit cracked lcd dot com
What do you think?
Categories: Ennui
I redesigned my site today…it’s all CS3-ified.
Most of the pages I’ve integrated into my blog’s look and feel, and I made a cool new splash page.
It’s been rainy today, so I haven’t been doing much of anything other than surfing the web and drawing in Illustrator.
Categories: Ennui
I just installed the brand-spanking-new Adobe Creative Suite CS3 that I have been waiting about a year for. It shipped this week.
It is a universal binary, meaning it runs at full speed on my Intel mac.
It is my wet dream of what this creative suite could ever be.
I am redesigning my web site.
Right now.
Categories: Ennui
Crème brûlée at Paragary’s with Annie, adorable conversations with Patrick, met Valerie, Megan and Steve, et al at True Love, then Christen came over, we walked all around downtown, Annie played songs at Patrick 2′s house (Christen’s ex), and then me and Christen went for the last 30 minutes of 80s night at Trauma (the goth night at Country Club Lanes).
It’s 4 a.m.
More details tomorrow.
But it was such a surreal night.
My life rocks.
Categories: Ennui
Brian and Katie…
Oh god, today was the Human Sexuality class about STDs. Oh my god, I never want to have sex again. Or eat. Ever.
(I had lunch hours ago)
But still!
I so need to go get tested. Not that I’m a big whore or anything, I just want to know.
I want to get dressed and go to work but my neck hurts from wearing a collar shirt that was tight around my neck. And the only outfits I want to wear have collars. Woe is me.
Patrick is so cute…he called me at like 7 a.m. just to tell me he loved me.
Awwww….*snuggle*
And about the spam comments, just ignore them. It’s probably some retard who has no life (warning, link is NSFW).
Categories: Ennui
And I haven’t written in forever.
I haven’t synced my phone with my computer in like three weeks. And in Dariusland, that means I’m running from something.
So me.
And Patrick.
Adorable group shots at the Downtown Plaza.
I know I’ve hinted about us. I don’t know what we’re living right now. I know that I feel deeply for him. I know that his visit was more than I could have ever hoped for. Not only is he affable and loving, he’s not mean to me… unlike some other people I’ve dated.
I must say, looking over all of the pictures from when he was here… I miss him badly. I just started them all uploading.
He’s coming to visit again in a few months… it’s going to feel so nice to snuggle with him again. He is sort of “dating” this guy in Oklahoma, though. The guy, Shane, told Patrick in the beginning that he wanted some sort of relationship, with exclusivity… but then the week after Patrick got back from visiting me he broke up with Patrick but they are still together in some odd way.
I have to confess: I’m so in love with him. I had moments with him that I could have never even approached with anyone I’d ever dated. To be able to hold a conversation, to be interesting, to have random conversations until 2 a.m…. I love this man.
He is the one person that I’m never walking on eggshells around. And after six months of navigating the shells, I’m done. I one relationship where I can be honest with my partner and where I’m not just motivated by loneliness and desperation.
Christen buying snacks at the airport while we wait
He’s coming for two weeks this time. I don’t know what I expected when he first came off of the plane. His pictures don’t look like him at all. He is so much more attractive than I imagined…I just can’t believe he’s real. I kept expecting him to nut up and do an Adrian…but then I remembered that sane, emotionally stable people that don’t thrive on drama and triumphing over fake adversity don’t nut up randomly.
Sanity is awesome.
Patrick was there when I needed him the most… when I was living with Adrian. I would go out to the hot tub and just talk with Patrick on the phone for hours. He was so understanding and helpful…and he was going through his own issues with his four-year epic relationship.
Patrick outside of BJ’s, this random restaurant in Natomas that we all went to.
I don’t know what I’m trying to say, other than that I’m happy with my life.
I have great friends, a perfect job, and a boy who loves me. What else is there to ask for (besides not living with my grandma any more)?
(She came into the room while I was getting dressed this morning and didn’t give a shit. God I hate her.)
Today was a great day. I got to my class a minute before the test, and then outside me and Christen and Conor had this great discussion about viral marketing, shitty music, and our favorite bands disappointing us. After that, I went over and hung out with Brian and his friend (I always forget her name) at the cafeteria. They ended up ditching their next class and we all went to Starbucks to sing fake Bjork cover songs to each other and make endless jokes. I get along great with those two.
Me and Brian at Christen’s photo shoot.
I guess I haven’t talked about how we met. Brian remembers that we met online when he was like 14, which is very probable because his screen name sounds familiar, but we only talked a few times. He went to high school with Kelly and Christen, and we would see him at the college and call him “the boob guy” because he was this guy that would always touch girls’ boobs and say “it’s OK, because I’m gay.” He tells me he only did it a few times, but I guess he got a reputation.
We started talking and we ended up having so much in common (a love of Goldfrapp, Bjork, and a deep-seated obsession with Depeche Mode, a hatred of wine, a love of Family Guy, Aqua Teen, etc., and compatible personalities). However, nothing in this whole time said “woo, dating possibility.” I’m just not attracted to him that way.
A few nights ago we watched Barbarella (best movie EVER) on his laptop…and we’ve been spending obscene amounts of time together, but it’s not a “relationship.” It’s just so odd to have a gay friend that I’m not having sex with. It’s actually kind of awesome. He told me like his whole relationship history last night from like midnight to two a.m.
People secretly love to talk about their exes…once you get them going, they don’t stop. Did I mention that I love hearing about people’s relationships? In the back of my mind, I feel like every new story I hear will help my future fiction writing. Brian just seems like such a victim of circumstance.
Existence is tragedy, I guess.
I’m really hung up on the fact that me and Patrick are in some sort of odd three-way relationship. He asked me whether he should “date” (whatever that means) Shane again after Shane had dumped him, and I told him that it was his decision and that I didn’t have a problem with whatever he decided… which I don’t, intellectually, but I do sort of see Patrick as my boyfriend even though we both don’t believe in long-distance relationships… and from what I’ve been told, Shane is not a very nice guy and has no idea what he wants out of a relationship.
Hmm…what do I want?
I want a college education.
I want an intellectually satisfying job… or a well-paying one… preferably both.
I want a meaningful, loving relationship with a guy to spend my life with.
I want a nice place to live and a satisfying (or, at the very least, mildly dramatic) social life
I want to end up in Europe someday and be a permanent expatriate.
Is all of that cliché?
It seems to me that most people want the same things.
It’s 2:30 a.m.
I just don’t want Trent to be right.
Love is enough.
Categories: Ennui
I was going to write a long post, but I spent most of today on the phone with my mom (kill me now). I also talked and a/v-ed with Patrick a bunch. Shane broke up with him.
I can’t say I’m surprised, but Shane did it in this underhanded backstabbing way (a phone breakup the day that Patrick was supposed to cook him dinner, and the day after they had spent the night together).
What an asshole.
Anyway, Barbarella came in the mail today. I watched the first twenty minutes or so, and it was AWESOME! Brian got off work at nine-thirty and I couldn’t finish it. I want to watch it now, but it’s late. Me and Brian and one of his friends went down to True Love tonight and we hung out and talked about how retarded Ica was/is (she was there that night), how slutty Nicole is (oooold news, but still funny), and all this other random stuff. We make each other laugh way too much.
I went over to his place afterwards and we hung out and talked for a while, then I went home. I need to go to sleep before three. Must go to sleep.
Categories: Ennui
Categories: Ennui
Me, Brian, Christen, and Brian’s friend Diane all went out to Club 21 tonight.
I saw SO many people I knew, it was crazy!
We had so much fun, it was awesome. The music was horrible though!
People I saw that I knew:
The guy from the Fair Oaks/Manzanita Starbucks that would always hit on my man
Mario
The new guy that works at True Love
one of Nicole’s friends
Modesto
And a bunch of other assholes I don’t remember!
It was great fun. When we got back to our cars, me and Christen rode around on my scooter. It was so fun! I must go to sleep now though.
Categories: Ennui